Still Feeling down & don't know why........

[Mum2OneAndBump]

I posted on here last week but my original thread seems to have gone, so here i am posting again.

I am 32 weeks pregnant and feeling very very down. I don't know why i am feeling like this, i am not sleeping hardly at all just lieing in bed at night.

I do feel a bit down about where my life is what i want out fo life and what i have not yet achieved and i am begining if its this that is making me feel the way i do & i think i keep thinking that when baby no 2 comes along things are just not gonna get any better.

I feel quite alone & just can not be bothered to go out of the house unless i really have to.

I spend an awful lot of time crying but i think this is my hormones i seemt o cry at anything all the time.

Everything is really starting to effect me now and it just seems to be getting on top of me i really hope i do not get PND after baby is born as this really would top everything for me, just the way i am feeling right now is very strange & i can not quite put my finger on what it is that is making me feel this down.

If i had the chance i would lie in my bed all day but i can not do this i have to get up for ds which is a good thing otherwise i really would be in a much worse place than i am at the moment & this is bad enough.

Anyone else felt like this? I am off to see doc at 3pm for 32 week sppt so going to mention all my fears worries and how i am feeling and see what she says.

It sounds like Antenatal Depresson. I had PND after my 1st was born. So when I was 32wks pg with my 2nd and displaying all the symptoms again I went straight to my MW and told her! She carried out the Edinburgh Postnatal Test and I scored a worrying 18.

I was prescribed AD's but couldn't handle the side effects. The HV did house visits just to speak to me. Just knowing that help was at hand if my AND turned into PND really helped me feel more in control.

Please tell your MW about this. More and more areas are doing the Edinburgh test at 36wks pg instead of waiting until the baby is 8wks old...... the theory being that PND actually starts during pg and can be nipped in the bud BEFORE you have a newborn baby to deal with.

You're not alone, please don't think that. Its very common, but doesn't get as much press yet as PND does.

Oops.... just to add..... dd is now 16mths old and I thankfully haven't had PND this time.

Talking about it and knowing the support thats available and also ensuring the people closest to you understand whats wrong is very important in my opinion. I'm glad you are going to speak to your GP about it. I bet you feel much better just by having that chat.

Sackache Thanks for that. I am starting to worry as i know i am not feeling at all right in myself just not being able to put my finger or what is wrong is starting to worry me too.

I don't have any motivation for life & normally i am the opposite i love life & try to make the best of all my hrs days it's just seems to be getting worse each week at the moment.

I am going to try and throw myself into the whole christmas thing doing the house up and things for ds as he loves all the lights tree. I seem to be sitting here bored with nothing to do but wait for this 2nd baby to turn up but this is really getting me down.

I will speak to the gp as its her this week and MW at 34 weeks, i also find talking to my MW hard as she is not very understanding and not very easy to understand. She seems to have the attitude of well you have done it before so you know all about it, but thats not true this is so different to my 1st pregnancy & i am begining to feel alone now not even dp is good at things like this.

mum2one, don't have words of wisdom for you but wanted to pass my heartfelt good wishes to you. One thing that did occur to me was to maybe take it a day at a time OK, you feel like this NOW but try not to leap ahead and imagine feeling like this with a newborn as well! Don't know if this helps because everyone is so different, but I knew someone who felt similar to you during 2nd pregnancy then was so elated after the birth, and so consumed with love for the new baby that they certainly didn't feel the same after. I don't say it was an instant fix that made her all better, just that having the baby seemed to be a big step on the road to feeling better. Good luck!

Dexter- I understand fully what you are saying & i really do try to take one day at a time, somedays i have a good day and feel ok, but at the moment just seem to be having more down days than good ones. I think i am just worrying for the future & when baby no 2 comes along cause i want it all to be just as perfect as it was with ds.

In my heart of hearts i am trying to be a fighter, & i do believe that when baby comes i am going to be excited,happy, & feel like this was really worth everything. I don't know why i am feeling the way i am, & i really hope it goes away.

Agree Dexter - But if its the onset of PND then the best thing is to tackle it head on and take control now. Your GP will take yoiu seriously..... just be really brutally honest. Don't hold back.... I didn't need any AD's in the end (just in case you're worried about that).... I just needed to be believed and understood and most importantly, taken seriously.

It will all be escalated at the moment as you're anxious about what its going to be like once the baby comes. Best deal with it now. You're in a really good position to do that, have faith that you WILL feel better and take all the support going to help you do that.

mum2one, just wanted to add that I hope you realise some of your worries and 'down' times are COMPLETELY understandable! When you go for number 2, you know what you are letting yourself in for and you know that it's 2 or 3 years again before you have some time for yourself - so it's understandable and I bet a huge proportion of people feel a bit down about it if they were to be honest!!

It sounds as if some of your worries are about YOUR life, which is subsumed by the needs of the kids - so maybe one thing to plan is something purely and simply for you. Maybe you could make plans that once you feel recovered from the birth of no:2, you are going to do something you have always fancied, say one night a week. It could be just frivolous like going to a pottery painting place, or something that takes you toward a new career path. But may be it would help to think along these lines so that you don't feel your life is swallowed up? Am I on the right lines?

Oh, yes sackache and meant to say, TELL MIDWIFE!! take any professional help that's offered, because sometimes we need help from outside, can't do it all alone if it's PND - take the help!

Thanks for all this great advice, it really does help to sit here and type it out and see other peoples points of views.

I have been and seen my Gp i tried my hardest not to sit there & cry but i am very emotional at the moment i just burst into tears & told her excatly how i was feeling, she was very understanding & said this is all part of pregnancy & could fully understand the way i was feeling.
She asked if i wanted her to give me something i presume pills but i said i really would rather not & wanted to try & get through this but wanted people to know the way i was feeling so that people are aware.

Dexter you are on the exact right lines of how i am feeling about MY life, thats just it i do not have a life, BUT this is what i have choosen i wanted to have my kids at this time in my life & with a rather samll gap to do it all at once.
I have sat here & thought about having to go & do all that i have just done with ds again with baby 2 & yes i will admit it sometimes i sit here & think i am mad, but other times i feel very excited about it all & i do believe at the bottom of my heart i will feel like this when the baby is here she will be my life.

I just feel like i am missing out on life, i gave up my career which i was more than willing to do but i also feel a bit bored & am sitting here thinking about how boring my life will be if this is all it will be for the next 3 years.

I really want to go to work not full time but i would love to go back part time & to be honest i can not wait but at this time in my life i can not do this.

I know i could go to work & many many mothers do BUT i choose to have kids & my opinion is that as we can afford for me to be at home i want to be with my kids in the first years of there lives till they start school, i don't want to miss out on all there first things just because of work, when dp's job means i do not need to work. Do you see what i am trying to say?

I think i will be ok i just need to start thinking positive & getting on with life not sitting & waiting which i seem to be doing.

I don't think it totally helps i have had probs with dp's family & been betrayed by them & just found all this out, i think this has got me quite down.

Anyway i will stop rambling and thank you for your support it really does help, i hope my thead does not get deleted this time & if i feel down & upset again i will just come and write it all down here it has made me see light at the end of the tunnel