GP wants to see me...................

[Aero]

Because I fell apart while talking to her on the phone today re dd (who has UTI symptoms again). I've just made the appointment, but I feel like a total twit - how do you know when it's time to seek help about feeling low? I feel like I've somehow, somewhere along the line lost a certain degree of control. I couldn't help it (crying, that is) - I'm so worried abut dd, and it's come on the back of a culmination of events which some of you will know about, and today is the first time I've really cried about any of it. Feel so stupid for letting myself go like that.

don't feel stupid! it's great that your GP cares enough that they want to see you on the back of that!
Hpw do you know when it's time to seek help? When being low is your life. all of us get low now and then... but when it becomes almost constant, and grinds you down... then you know you need to do something about it.

I have been saying for a while that if I allowed myself to get upset, then I'd fall to pieces, and it seems that that is just what has happened. Atm, I can hardly be bothered to do anything and am having to force myself to do the things I normally just get on with such as cooking a meal for the children's tea. So much so that I ordered a pizza for tonight's tea despite defrosting mince to cook. Feel very much like I'm going through the motions and each day it's getting a bit harder. I guess it's not helping that dh is still in LA working - due back tomorrow night, but has been away since Sunday am.

yeah i know the feeling... doing what you have to do, going through the motions... not really living iyswim'?

it sounds like you'd definitely benefit from seeing the GP. Sometimes it HELPS to fall to pieces because then you can start to put it all back together again.

SEe if you can get a referral to a counsellor... it really helps sometimes to be able to talk about stuff with someone unrelated

That's probably the route I'd take - tbh - not sure I'm ready to give in to ads. I just took the opportunity to mention my sister's OD and that it may have affected dd (GP thinks symptoms could possibly be phsycosomatic of something that's stressing her, but nothing is ruled out yet), and that's when I lost it. Subsequent to that, two friends have died (both only in their forties), and one bad thing just seems to follow another. The thing with my sister is that I feel I'm on constant suicide watch and I'm just feeling this huge weight on my shoulders.

i remember crying down the phone at the receptionist during the worst of peters problems. i just needed to see a GP so i could sob it all out. he perscribed AD's but i didnt like them, and tbh i dont think i needed them, i just needed a good old howl about everything at the time.

Poor you, Aero - I know how it is to have that constant gnawing worry as ds has had ongoing problems with a perianal abscess that just keep coming back and back and back... It has really been getting me down. I think it's really positive that you are seeing your GP (she sounds nice - is she?) Have to say have been on the verge of going to my lovely female GP and telling her that am finding it hard to handle it all.
Glad your dh is back soon - it's so much wosre when you feel you are the only person responsible - you feel so alone. Hoping talking to her helps in some way. Take care, Dinny x

was crying at the recpetionist as she said i culdnt have an appointment,m falling apart over the phone meant i saw the gp about 2hours later.

oh and i cried for about 2hours last night.

oh aero you've been having a really rough time of it.

i'm glad you'd see a counsellor because that will definitely help i think. AD's CAN be a great thing, simply because they level you out... they make you feel better while you sort out with the counsellor exactly why you feel like this and talk through your problems.

i wouldn't rule them out completely... they can be a huge help.. but not by themselves

That's what I'm worried about - just getting there and blubbing it all out. It could well be all I need, but I'm also worried about my lack of motivation to do anything and that in itself is making me feel useless and lazy (I am naturally lazy to a point , but I normally keep the house in some sort of order).

don't worry about it... GP's have seen it all before. it's obvious your gp WANTS to help you and s/he is probably expecting you to cry! seriously, they are there to help you.
i had the opposite problem, always pretending everything was ok... so no-one was ever able to help me!

you will feeel so much better after you have been anbd had a good cry and got it all out in the open

Oh, I don't disagree SL - they've more or less saved my sisters life (for now), and she's finally got her apointment through for appropriate counselling therapy for her condition which is severe. I don't feel I'm anywhere near the place she got to.
Great way to get an appointment misdee! They obviously got the message that you needed to be seen.
I do like my GP Dinny - she's been great and thinks I'm worrying too much over dd, but this has been ongoing and I'm hating to see her constantly sore and she's now wetting her pants through the day too because the urgency is so bad. Never mind the daily washing of bedding!

Up until now, I think I have been kidding myself everything is ok and that I'm coping fine.

sometimes its the only way to get an appointment here. they wont book appointments in advance you have to phone/go there at 8.30am, if you are late or cant get through often the appointmehts are all gone. the only time u can book appointments is if it a long going situation and you need to see a certain doc.

i have been referred for councelling to help deal with it all, i am umm-ing and err-ing over it as i'll need childcare sorted as well, and not sure what i can do that way, and need to do it between 9.30am-2.30pm only due to school run, plus mondays and weds i dont have enough time, plus need to go see peter. i need extra hours in the day.

but you don't need to be that severe to benefit from them.
seriously, give it some thought...

That'd be an issue for me too misdee - can hardly take ds2 along if I do go to see someone. I just find it hard to believe/admit I'm finding it hard to cope. I'm the last person I expect to fall apart, and I don't think I will if I sort it out now, but sheesh, that took me by surprise today. Am grateful for a good surgery though and all the receptonists know me and are nice.

Hey sweetheart, just seen this. Wanted to send you hugs.

It really is hardly surprising you are feeling this way if you take into account everything that has happened lately. I was thinking yesterday, how well you cope with it all actually. You are a darned sight stronger than I dear friend. You are coping better than you give yourself credit for anyhow. And what does it matter if the house isn't ship shape, unless you are trying to rival my thick layers of dust that is.

Don't be worried to cry in front of the gp. It does help and yours sounds like a sensible one. Would it help to either have someone with you or to have ds2 when you go? May I suggest you make a list of what is troubling you so that you don't do what I do and shut the door behind you on the way out and think "OH SH!T, I forgot to mention that huge thing that would have put a bit of light onto everything else I've said" .

And I won't have you thinking of yourself as stupid - you have had more than your fair share of bad news recently and it takes its toll, on top of dh being away.

Hang in there. I'm here if you need me. Especially this weekend. If you want some company, just say. As you said, I am owed an evening off.

Cadbury........we're a right pair aren't we. It would help enormously if your ds could entertain mine for a short while next Thursday am - the appt is at 9.30am. I don't know what I'll say, although I think once I start to list my 'series of unfortunate events' (not making little of the events, just trying to lighten things a bit), then it will probably set me off again.

Thursday am would be fine. I look forward to it. As for th weekend - if you want company, just say the word and I'll be over with a bottle of something and chocolate (enjoying those toffee things btw -thanks very much)

Would love to - but dh is due home tomorrow night - so far I've not heard anything different. Nothing doing during the day though if you need a little space and I'd love the company and no doubt the dc would love to see each other.

(((( Aero ))))

Thanks Tamba.

will call tomorrow

dh sends his best to you too.

Thanks