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Self esteem problems with teenage DD

17 replies

meercatmum · 15/06/2011 11:31

My 13 year old daughter (dd) seems to be really struggling with self esteem problems that tend to take control of her life. This has been going on for at least 2 yrs. She spends at least an hour every day putting on a "mask" of makeup and will not ever be seen without it. She is unable to do anything without prior notice of at least an hour to put her makeup on. She gets really anxious with anything which is out of the ordinary planned day. She believes she is completely ugly and is saving up for cosmetic surgery for a tiny freckle removal (altho this changes depending on what she is completely absorbed on) - this will not be happening!! She is incidently really pretty and we are always telling her this but she says we would say this as her parents.
She is prone to huge "melt downs" due to anger/frustration/anxiety..

Holidays are a nightmare due to melting makeup and hours required to put on before going out to pool - and not wearing suntan cream incase it smudged her "mask" of foundation.

She has eating issues where she keeps taking sweet food eg icing sugar to her room but getting her to eat sensible meals is a real issue. She is underweight and sees the GP for this and self esteem.

A recent more worrying incident is that she has been going on a "meet a stranger website" (which is legal with no age limit!!!) with a webcam and has copied conversations that she has had onto her facebook album where strangers tell her how stunning she is - we have spoken to her again and again about dangers of the internet and cannot believe the potential risk she has put herself in. Obviously we have now taken away access to the internet. What is even more strange is that she says that she is unable to talk to people at school unless they are her close friends and cannot make eye contact with them.

This is my first mumsnet "Talk" so hopefully have done this right ... comments pls (PS we are going down the route of kick starting some professional interventions)

OP posts:
NanaNina · 15/06/2011 13:10

I just remember seeing a TV programme about a young girl with very similar issues about her looks (and she too was pretty) and I think she was having psychological help. Re her eating issues, it sounds a bit like anorexia doesn't it. My step grand-daughter has anorexia due to some "turbulence" in her childhood - she is 24 and very sensible and has talked to me about where she thinks it comes from and I agree with her. She has had therapy with a therapist specialising in anorexia, though it comes and goes now. She doesn't look any thinner than her friends to be honest, but when I catch sight of her without clothes, I can see she s very thin.

Once when I was talking to her about anorexia, she said that she had good days and bad days, and asked if she knew what causes the bad days and she nodded "yes" - but was reluctant to tell me - saying I wouldn't understand but I promised i would try and she said that if she got up and looked in the mirror and saw a spot on her face, she thought she wouldn't eat that day because she had the spot and at least she wouldn't be fat as well as spotty. Now I know this isn't logical but anorexia isn't logical is it and is in fact really nothing to do with food, it is more some kind of psychological distress and I think many people don't understand this and think it is about food.

The thing about not being able to look at anyone only close friends, I think is her distorted view of how she looks, and thinks people will think she is ugly.

I honestly think you should go down the route of professional intervention, but it has to be someone who understands and has experience of your daughter's problems, and who she feels comfortable with, although it is a big ask for a 15 year old girl to be able to feel comfortable with a stranger, but I think it is the right way to go.

Do hope your daughter gets the help she (and you ) need. Maybe someone will be along who knows more about this. I'm sure there is a "name" for young girls seeing themselves as ugly and need a mask, and certainly the programme I saw was just like this and it's the same kind of distorted thinking that makes a very thin girl see herself as fat inthe mirror isn't it.

meercatmum · 15/06/2011 13:56

Thankyou for your input NanaNina - you sound like a really down to earth grandma. My mum tries to advise but like you says we need some professional help as really "normal rules" do not apply with her ... although we do have all the boundaries that you would have for a teenager and do stick by them. In terms of anarexia this is certainly why the GP keeps a close eye on her - she does not think she is fat and knows she is thin and doesn't like it when people tease her for being too thin - i think it is a control thing!

OP posts:
NanaNina · 15/06/2011 18:07

Yes, anorexia is absolutely a control thing - I have read up and googled it quite a lot because of worry over my step grdghtr. I think girls (and it is mainly girls) who feel they can't control things (or couldn't at an earlier time in their life) which is the case with my grdgtr feel that at least they can control what they are eating (or not). I can't help wondering if your daughter's thing about her looks and her eating are tied up together somehow. Yes my grdghtr knows she is thin too but I think there are many people with EDs who have very distorted perceptions of how they look and their size etc.

We took my grdght to visit her grprts and she was wearing skinny jeans which of course made her look even thinner and grandad passed some comment about how thin she was. I just came in quickly and said "Oh all the girls wear these skinny jeans now and it makes them look thin". The thing was with my grdghtr when she was a child she was always hungry and the joke used to be that she needed feeding every hour on the hour, mind she was still skinny then.

Hope others come along who have more experience of this problem.

meercatmum · 15/06/2011 23:20

I have just found that she has self harmed and badly scratched
Her arms!! She will not even discuss or admit it
Is a problem

OP posts:
NanaNina · 15/06/2011 23:37

Self harming is a usually a way of trying to make the emotional pain go away by concentrating on a physical pain and is quite common in young girls who are have psychological problems. She probably feels ashamed of what she has done. I think this is another sign that your daughter is suffering from emotional distress, which seems to be building up. I think you need to get some help for your daughter and yourselves asap. Have you any idea of any trauma in her past that you know of that could be causing this distress?

Something may have happened to her that you know nothing about. You are obviously in touch with a particular GP as you mention he/she is keeping a close eye on her because of her eating disorder. I think you should talk to the GP about the other problems, particularly these "meltdowns" and the self harm. I think the GP needs to know about these - it just maybe that they can point you in the right direction for help. Usually they will refer you to CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service) This is an NHS service, and there is usually a waiting list. I don't have a good experience of CAMHS to be honest, but when I posted this recently on another thread, someone came on and said they had a good experience, so it is probably down to the particular worker that you get. They are the old Child Guidance service.

I honestly think your best bet is to find a therapist/clinical psychologist who has experience of emotional distress in teenage girls. You will have to pay but it sounds like you are willing to do this. You can google BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists) in your area and they should give details of their expertise.

My experience in these matters are related to a long career in social work (childrens services) but am now retired. I have had experience of young girls cutting (or scratching) themselves, usually on their arms, as a manifestation of emotional distress.

I appreciate you must be very worried but try not to over react to her self harm and question her too closely. I think you must try to keep calm and get her some help asap.

Have you any idea what can have triggered all these problems?

meercatmum · 16/06/2011 07:09

No idea - we are a close family we provide love and support- I work part time but dh works full time so are financially secure - dd struggles at school and peer pressure and this used to be cause for anxiety but cannot think of any trauma which could be the source for her problems!

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Isthreetoomany · 16/06/2011 11:39

I was very similar to your daughter when I was 13. I severely restricted food intake, because I felt in control (and generally far happier) if I didn't eat. I also came from a very supportive family. I think the food issues were triggered by puberty and starting to put on a bit of extra weight.
Has your dd always been naturally slim? I think it can be harder for people who are naturally slim to cope when their body starts changing and becoming a little heavier.

I was also the same in that I spent ages in the bathroom every morning, and worried about things like going out in the rain or swimming in case make up smudged. Holidays were stressful because of the not knowing in advance what the bathroom arrangements would be (would there be a mirror? would I be able to get in the bathroom at the usual times? etc. Especially hard if you are camping and sharing a toilet block). To be honest, I never really connected this with the eating problems, I think I just thought this is what all teenage girls are like! (although I agree that it's also be a sign of low self esteem, and also relates to striving for control over how you look).

I never self harmed, but I understand it is fairly common for anorexics to also self harm (I think I've read it is around 25% who do).

I agree with NN that you should speak to the GP that your dd is already in touch with, and tell them about your concerns.

meercatmum · 18/06/2011 08:41

Thank you for your input - isthreetoomamy did you resolve the areas that you mentioned eh eating, spending hours to get ready by yourself or did you have professional intervention.?
My dd is adamant that there is nothing wrong with her and she will not speak with anyone. So much so that she will not discuss with us this isolated case of self harm or why she was speaking to strangers on the Internet. She just gets angry and goes off to her room telling us to leave her alone. I am at a loss how we will ever get her to CAMHS and am scared that she will feel we have seriously betrayed her by completing the referral...I am worried she will harm herself again. Whilst we are so worried you would not think she has a care in the world - her life is so full of highs and lows but unfortunately she is not interested in doing anything nice with family and instead will start the long making up process in the hope one of her friends will want to see her. She will not call them so if she is not contacted she will be unlikely to get dressed, brush her hair. Have just suggested that myself, dd and dd go to town this morning for cake and a drink (dd likes sweet food) to have a nice time and buy df a card.. I was allowing dd 2 hours to ready herself but she is not interested and won't go saying she will make a card altho I think this unlikely.I realise this is only tiny and not a big problem but i feel that I have lost the closeness we had which is so sad... But I guess this is a fairly standard moan of a teenagers mum.

OP posts:
meercatmum · 18/06/2011 08:43

Thank you for your input - isthreetoomamy did you resolve the areas that you mentioned eh eating, spending hours to get ready by yourself or did you have professional intervention.?
My dd is adamant that there is nothing wrong with her and she will not speak with anyone. So much so that she will not discuss with us this isolated case of self harm or why she was speaking to strangers on the Internet. She just gets angry and goes off to her room telling us to leave her alone. I am at a loss how we will ever get her to CAMHS and am scared that she will feel we have seriously betrayed her by completing the referral...I am worried she will harm herself again. Whilst we are so worried you would not think she has a care in the world - her life is so full of highs and lows but unfortunately she is not interested in doing anything nice with family and instead will start the long making up process in the hope one of her friends will want to see her. She will not call them so if she is not contacted she will be unlikely to get dressed, brush her hair. Have just suggested that myself, dd and dd go to town this morning for cake and a drink (dd likes sweet food) to have a nice time and buy df a card.. I was allowing dd 2 hours to ready herself but she is not interested and won't go saying she will make a card altho I think this unlikely.I realise this is only tiny and not a big problem but i feel that I have lost the closeness we had which is so sad... But I guess this is a fairly standard moan of a teenagers mum.

OP posts:
purepurple · 18/06/2011 09:14

Hi meercatmum, I am going through a similiar phase with DD 14. She too has self-esteem issues and seems to find life really hard at the moment.
She was a friendly, confident, funny, normal girl at primary but seems to have changed since going to high school.
We are a normal family, we have been married for 24 years and she has an older brother. She finds it really hard to speak to us, don't know why.
I took her to the Gp as I was worried about her and he talked through a few issues with her and he asked her if she was self-harming. She isn't. He gave her some contact numbers, but didn't refer her for counselling as I had approached the school, about counselling, which she now receives.
She didn't want to go to the GP but I insisted. She was getting out of control, smoking, drinking, and not going to school. She then got caught shop-lifting. It was almost as if she wanted to get caught. Classic cry for help?
She is getting a lot out of her counselling sessions at school, they help her a lot. Especially after the latest trauma of getting pregnant and having a termination.
It's not easy, but we take each day as it comes. Yesterday, she had a fabolous new haircut, had all her hair cut off, very short and stylish.
Like your DD, her life is full of highs and lows, very hard to keep up with it all.
I am worried about her eating now, she doesn't seem to eat but don't really know what to do for the best.
She has made progress though, we have focussed on her choices after school. She wants to be an interior designer, so we have looked at what she needs to get into college.
School have been fantastic. The pastoral care has been such a help, really can't fault them.

NanaNina · 18/06/2011 23:20

Do either of you worried mums take the Guardian on a Sat. If so there is an article in the Family Section - it's entitled Problem Solved - is a weekly column written by Annalisa Barbierei and this weel is about a boy of 18 with anorexia.

Let me know if you haven't seen it and I will relay the salient points. Too tired to do it now! Bedtime.......

Isthreetoomany · 19/06/2011 09:45

Meercatmum - the taking ages getting ready resolved itself over a period of a couple of years I think. I think I was worse around 13/14 as I was quite spotty around that time which made me quite paranoid. I do think it is pretty normal though.
The eating issues dragged on for around 10 years in the end. I was very good at hiding things from my parents and I had always been skinny so it wasn't difficult to hide it all (baggy clothes etc). I did get professional help in the end but not until I was away at university and I sought it myself. It took that long for me to feel ready to seek help, unfortunately. By that point I was ready to be honest about what I was doing. Obviously I'm not sure how things would have worked out if my parents had realised and drawn attention to it earlier, but I'm sure you are doing the right thing by seeking help on her behalf, even if against her will.
I have been well for over 10 years (since the age of around 21) but am now finding things hard again whilst pregnant, and have been told pregnancy is a time when relapses are common and that this will probably be a kind of life-long thing with me and my thought patterns. I guess perhaps if my parents had realised earlier (although I would have found it horrendous) perhaps the thought patterns would not have had the chance to become so ingrained. Good luck.

meercatmum · 19/06/2011 13:11

Thanks to you both - I have found your personal experiences really useful isthreetoomany and hope that you can fend off any relapses - isnt recognition of problem signs half the battle?? Nananina I am not aware of this column so yes would be interested in key points. I must admit I am so worried about what we may have kickstarted re CAMHS and professional help - I woke up feeling completely wretched about it - have we labelled her for life, are we overreacting and just carry on coping and helping and loving her ... Sorry am just riddled with anxieties over this and don't even feel like I can cofide with dh over it...

OP posts:
NanaNina · 19/06/2011 16:46

Hi Meercatmum - issue was an 18 year old boy with anorexia - lost 5kg in weight in 1 year. There had however been family problems when he was 10 and adopted older brother died of drug abuse when boy was 15. He is now at uni.

The columnist spoke to Professor John Morgan a psychiatrist who is vice-chair of the ED section at the Royal College of psychiatrists. He said that the best way to help was to understand it from the sufferer's point of view, which is that anorexia is experienced - at least initially as helpful and healing; it serves a purpose for the sufferer.

He continues: You must be cautious about your approach because telling them how much they are damaging themselves, for example, can backfire. Anorexia is an incredibly tenacious mental illness and an egosyntonic one - in other words people who have it do not see that they have a problem.

Some people can be pre disposed to anorexia (it can be a genetic pre-disposition or personality type combined with low self esteem and a desire for perfectionism) and then a traumatic event can trigger it. But it is ultimately an illness about control and managing difficult emotions that cannot be processed in another way.

Prof Morgan advises "be there for your son/dghtr, but striking a balance becoming too involved (this could ne counter productive because you may find it hard not to hector) and not involved enough. Your son/dghtr needs to see that what she has is an illness, not a way of coping, but she has to find this out for herself. This can take anorexics anything from 6 months to many years."

You could try subtly directing her to a beneficial website (beware there are a lot of damaging, pro anorexia sites, where young people swap ideas about avoiding eating and sewing heavy things into their underwear when being weighed) I urge you to visit Beat (www.b-eat.co.uk - beating eating disorders)There is also a helpline, 0845 634 1414 (for over 18s) or 0845 634 7650 (for those 25 and under) I think you would benefit from reading "Skills-based Learning for Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder" a book aimed at carer's that gives tips on dealing with things such as mealtimes.

End of Professor's advice. He doesn't say where you can get the book but it's probably on Amazon or can be ordered from a large bookshop.

I know you don't know of any triggers in your daughter meercat, but could something have happened to her outside of the family (sometimes girls who have been sexually abused by someone outside of the family do not tell their parents) I am absolutely not suggesting this is the case with you daughter but just wondered.

Maybe the make up business is the need for perfectionalism as the prof says.

I don't think you should worry about what you might have kick started with CAMHS - I don't have very good experience of CAMHS encountered through my 30 years as a social worker and tm mgr. It will depend on the individual person you get of course, but it needs to be someone experienced in ED with young girls. If you can afford it, you might be better finding a clinical psychologist or psycho-therapist who has experience in EDs in teenagers. It is essential that the person is someone with whom your daughter feels comfortable.

My stgrdght has had anorexia since she was 14 and is now 24 - we didn't find out till she was 21! Mind she lives many miles from us and since she was about 16 we have seen much less of her. Mind her dad and step mum who she has lived with since she was 4 had no idea either! In the end I asked her straight out as I suspected anorexia and the floodgates opened and she told me all. She struggled at uni but got some extra help and managed a 2.1 but of course like many grads can't get a job. Her eating ebbs and flows and is enjoying life, as I see from her Facebook photos! But she phones me sometimes and says her eating is "not good" but doesn't elaborate and I tend not to push her. She seems to get a lot of throat/ear infections and EDs do of course cause physical problems like recurring infections.

You mums must not blame yourselves - nor for not noticing anything wrong - these girls do become very skilled at being secretive about their problems - maybe not wanting to worry you - who knows.

Re self harm - it is absolutely a way of "blowing" when a head of steam has built up - maybe not consciously but it is very common in young women with self esteem issues. My grdtr doesn't self harm but she does bizarre things, like taking all her clothes off and running around the garden at midnight. The poor love sobbed down the phone when she told me this and I just wanted to hug her.

Sorry think I am rambling now so will close.

Hope you 2 mothers can help each other and of course having young women on here who have themselves suffered/still suffering from an ED must be of great help to you both.

midgeismum · 13/01/2012 08:29

Just found out that my 15 year is old is cutting herself.

I so want to handle this the right way. Any advice?

Maryz · 13/01/2012 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coocachoo · 01/01/2014 15:02

dear meerkat mum please dont feel alone i have a 14 yr old daughter who has very low self esteem she stresses and throws things in anger speaks to me in a angry way she hates herself wants to meet the one but dosent have the confidence to go out and meet anyone she thinks shes ugly too and shes not she has a meltdown over spots and feels hopeless worthless and has low self esteem would be good if myy dd could talk to yours do u live nr herne bay my dd really needs to talk to some one like her.

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