Hi Meercatmum - issue was an 18 year old boy with anorexia - lost 5kg in weight in 1 year. There had however been family problems when he was 10 and adopted older brother died of drug abuse when boy was 15. He is now at uni.
The columnist spoke to Professor John Morgan a psychiatrist who is vice-chair of the ED section at the Royal College of psychiatrists. He said that the best way to help was to understand it from the sufferer's point of view, which is that anorexia is experienced - at least initially as helpful and healing; it serves a purpose for the sufferer.
He continues: You must be cautious about your approach because telling them how much they are damaging themselves, for example, can backfire. Anorexia is an incredibly tenacious mental illness and an egosyntonic one - in other words people who have it do not see that they have a problem.
Some people can be pre disposed to anorexia (it can be a genetic pre-disposition or personality type combined with low self esteem and a desire for perfectionism) and then a traumatic event can trigger it. But it is ultimately an illness about control and managing difficult emotions that cannot be processed in another way.
Prof Morgan advises "be there for your son/dghtr, but striking a balance becoming too involved (this could ne counter productive because you may find it hard not to hector) and not involved enough. Your son/dghtr needs to see that what she has is an illness, not a way of coping, but she has to find this out for herself. This can take anorexics anything from 6 months to many years."
You could try subtly directing her to a beneficial website (beware there are a lot of damaging, pro anorexia sites, where young people swap ideas about avoiding eating and sewing heavy things into their underwear when being weighed) I urge you to visit Beat (www.b-eat.co.uk - beating eating disorders)There is also a helpline, 0845 634 1414 (for over 18s) or 0845 634 7650 (for those 25 and under) I think you would benefit from reading "Skills-based Learning for Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder" a book aimed at carer's that gives tips on dealing with things such as mealtimes.
End of Professor's advice. He doesn't say where you can get the book but it's probably on Amazon or can be ordered from a large bookshop.
I know you don't know of any triggers in your daughter meercat, but could something have happened to her outside of the family (sometimes girls who have been sexually abused by someone outside of the family do not tell their parents) I am absolutely not suggesting this is the case with you daughter but just wondered.
Maybe the make up business is the need for perfectionalism as the prof says.
I don't think you should worry about what you might have kick started with CAMHS - I don't have very good experience of CAMHS encountered through my 30 years as a social worker and tm mgr. It will depend on the individual person you get of course, but it needs to be someone experienced in ED with young girls. If you can afford it, you might be better finding a clinical psychologist or psycho-therapist who has experience in EDs in teenagers. It is essential that the person is someone with whom your daughter feels comfortable.
My stgrdght has had anorexia since she was 14 and is now 24 - we didn't find out till she was 21! Mind she lives many miles from us and since she was about 16 we have seen much less of her. Mind her dad and step mum who she has lived with since she was 4 had no idea either! In the end I asked her straight out as I suspected anorexia and the floodgates opened and she told me all. She struggled at uni but got some extra help and managed a 2.1 but of course like many grads can't get a job. Her eating ebbs and flows and is enjoying life, as I see from her Facebook photos! But she phones me sometimes and says her eating is "not good" but doesn't elaborate and I tend not to push her. She seems to get a lot of throat/ear infections and EDs do of course cause physical problems like recurring infections.
You mums must not blame yourselves - nor for not noticing anything wrong - these girls do become very skilled at being secretive about their problems - maybe not wanting to worry you - who knows.
Re self harm - it is absolutely a way of "blowing" when a head of steam has built up - maybe not consciously but it is very common in young women with self esteem issues. My grdtr doesn't self harm but she does bizarre things, like taking all her clothes off and running around the garden at midnight. The poor love sobbed down the phone when she told me this and I just wanted to hug her.
Sorry think I am rambling now so will close.
Hope you 2 mothers can help each other and of course having young women on here who have themselves suffered/still suffering from an ED must be of great help to you both.