Depressed?

[Tortoise]

Trying to work out (of maybe accept?) I may be depressed. So I have written a list of how I feel/thinks I feel are wrong.
Tired most of the time.
Struggle to make myself go to bed then takes a while to get to sleep.
No energy.
No motivation.
Eating all the wrong food and too much food.
Put on weight.
Untidy house, can't be bothered to sort it.
Sit around too much during the day and after dc are home from school.
Nag and moan at dc about everything inc the mess they make and lack of help.
Shouty, grumpy, irritable.
Don't do much with dc. Don't play with them or anything.
Lazy
Useless.
Everything feels like too much effort.
Low mood, sometimes tearful.
Lonely single mum with 4 dc, no family close by and not many friends.
I think deep down I know the answer but can't accept it.

BeerTricks says it very well

Support is out there but only when you drop your mask and explain that you are struggling. Your friends do want to help, they are your friends for a reason.

You give quite a list of symptoms there which apart from one (useless is not a symptom of anything - it is also no way to describe yourself!!!!! You are not useless) can all be indicative of depression.

As for accepting it, well you have it whether you accept it or not. You may as well go and have a chat with your doctor for some help.

Thanks Beertricks. It took me a long time to hit post and i nearly deleted it!
I take dogs out for about half an hour in the daytime. I do loads of walking because we live a mile from school. Don't really have a close enough friend that i feel i can talk too. Don't want to dump my problems on others!

Thanks madmouse. I do feel useless. Doesn't help that i found out today that i didn't get a job that i had an interview for.

The hardest step now is to pick up the phone and make a drs appointment. I was close so many times today but stopped myself. I don't really know what to say.

Tortoise you have already written this crystal clear list of everything that you are feeling right now, all you have to do is take it with you and show it to the doctor. The doctor will ask you questions after reading this.

No one likes 'dumping problems on others' but sometimes you need to talk. I've been very ill with PTSD caused by events from childhood and current events and I needed to talk and at some point I just started to drop hints of what was going on while chatting to friends on facebook. They were very supportive and I kept talking. We have become much closer friends as a result, and the friendships have deepened both ways, ie not just me leaning on them.

One of them in particular has actually saved my life by being there when I really couldn't take anymore and got totally the wrong idea. A few years earlier we were nowhere near that close.

You need to give people a chance to help you.

call the doctors first thing tomorrow. get an appointment and go. you are depressed and medication will help. BUT it will take a while to kick in, so the sooner you go, the sooner things will start to get better x

I will try and talk to someone.
I expect some of this is caused by past events for me. I want to feel better and be better for my DC.

I finally made an appointment for tomorrow morning. Is it ok to take a list with me and just hand it to the Dr?
So scared of talking about it.

Yes, take a list if it helps you. The doctor won't mind, but will still want to talk to you about it.

Thanks. Will report back tomorrow.

Tortoise - how did you get on? I could have written your post. I have come to the realisation today that I am probably depressed. I am currently trying to decide whether to go to my GP or go down the DIY route eg. St Johns Wort.

(Hi to the MH board BTW - my first post here)

Mouse I have tablets and have to make an appointment with councillor. I'm glad I went, its taken a weight off my mind.

Tortoise, I could have written your op last year. Well done for getting help - I'm glad they're offering you counselling, if you get somebody you 'click' with it can be really helpful.

I've gone the medical route for previous bouts of depression but this time wanted to see if I could drag myself out of it ... so far, so good :) At the moment I'm finding the five ways to wellbeing really helpful. I'm getting out of the house before lunchtime every day, getting out of breath at least once a day, doing 20 min yoga most mornings ... I'm not doing so well on the housework front at the moment (you might find flylady useful) but stuff is not getting done because I'm out doing voluntary work now instead of not getting done because I'm sitting on my arse growing fat and staring at the computer

Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks plentyof. I wish you luck with feeling better, I hope it works out for you.

Tablets making me feel sick. Dr did say they might for the first week.

Hi, which meds are you on?
x

I'm on Fluoxetine tablets. Not felt so nauseous today which is good.