My husband has long term depression. It took a while to realise that's what it was as he would be very, very down about things, like his job. But then he would get a new job and he would be very down about something else. It was only after several of these that we realised he was actually depressed and although these situations (job etc) weren't great he was projecting onto them (if you get me).
For a while he was on Seroxat which seemed to help a bit but he had terrible side affects so came off it about a year ago. He did a short bit of counselling but isn't a very open person which didn't make it easy. I also think part of the way he is like that is because of his childhood and his family but he doesn't see that at all and the more I try to make him see the more his barriers go up.
I find now though that he is just so hard to be around. He has been physically ill as well which has made him very unhappy and he is suffering physically which is making him feel terrible and more depressed. He is naturally a negative person (gets it from his dad) which really doesn't help.
Lately I have been trying to get on with DIY which he was doing but can't as is in plaster at the moment. I find though that he is being very negative about it probably because he feels crap that he can't do it, and he actually ends up being more of a hindrence then anything. It would be lovely if he could say well done to me and encourage me but instead just says negative things, like how I won't be able to do it and how hard it will be. Recently I did find some of it to hard and wanted to ask for help from a friend but he didn't want me to as that made him feel bad. Eventually I realised that it wasn't him it was affecting but me as I was the one who was actually doing the DIY!
I don't know what to do. I want him to go back to the dr to go back on meds or seek some other help but he is reluctant. I am just finding him impossible to live with. I don't mean to be unsympathetic and I do understand having had issues myself. I suppose it's because I don't feel he's getting the help that is out there and that yet again he is blaming his depression on "something" as he says it's because of his physical problems and the pain he is in and that he will be better when he gets physically better. I don't believe him though and think it is the same as all the other times. I need him to have more awareness of this.
What makes it worse is the constant negativity about everything and his trying to hold me back from acheiving anything so as not to make himself feel worse.
Help?