Anxiety, panic attacks.

[Marne]

Hi, i suffer with anxiety and i feel like i'm haveing a panic attack, i wish i could find a way to calm myself down , i have been seeing a therapist but i can't see any improvement. I don't know what to try next (maybe medication), i'm shaking, running to the loo and can't think straight, my heart is pounding. It helps to write things down on here. I'm so fed up with suffering from this , my therapist said 'i will always suffer with it and i need to learn how to cope', how can i cope?

Its all very well saying that you will always suffer and that you need to learn how to cope but its not that easy, your therapist should be teaching you ways to help you cope, do you see the therapist through your GP or privately, either way it doesnt seem to be helping you, maybe you should go back to your GP and try a different route, could be medication, counselling or CBT, have you tried relaxation CDs or relaxation exercises, i found the ones on here helpfull.
www.patient.co.uk/health/Relaxation-Exercises.htm

Hi Marne, I'm really sorry you're having such a horrible time. I'm even more sorry to hear your therapist has said you will always sorry from your anxiety. In my experience this is simply not the case. Lots of people suffer from really serious anxiety in their lifetime and eventually come through it and do not suffer to the extent that they have in the past. I know this because I have personally suffered from very serious anxiety in my early 20's, I had CBT, read books, learned relaxation techniques, it took a while but I overcame the anxiety related symptoms and have never gone back. A combination of techniques to reduce your anxiety levels will help. It's really good that you write things down, especially when you can't sleep and you have racing thoughts or intrusive thoughts. CBT is very helpful. There are some great self help books out there too: www.books4selfhelp.com/top-10-self-help-books.htm (my first link, not sure it will work). I had a great CPN once and she really put things into perspective for me. I saw her one day and told her that I was imagining things, she asked me what I was imagining, I said I thought I saw a spider on my pillow, she said was there a spider on your pillow, I said no, I just thought there was. I really thought I was going mad, the CPN started laughing and told me there was nothing wrong with me... it so lovely to hear someone say that. I also read a self help book which was a range of personal stories written down by a psychiatrist. He had a patient, an old lady in her 80's, the old lady would hide all the knives in the house in case she killed someone. The psychiatrist asked her how long she had this fear and the only woman said 40 years!!! the psychiatrist told her if she hadn't stabbed anyone in 40 years she was unlikely to ever kill someone. These things made me realise that anxiety is all in the mind, it's completely irrational, and that I wasn't mad and that I probably never would be mad and guess what just over 20 years of having that initial severe anxiety I've never gone mad!!!! All that worry and all those fears for nothing. Can I ask you to also look into mindfulness - it's a really effective way to manage your anxiety. Also, one of those party blowers for when your breathing gets bad - they really do work in regulating your breathing. Sorry for the long post, I hope some of it helps.

ps; I couldn't be bothered checking for typos so apologies in advance

have you tried lighting a candle in a semi-dark room and sitting quietly watching it - this can be very soothing

Thank you, this is my 2nd therapist through the Gp, 1st one tried to make me face my phobia (which causes most of my anxiety) head on and made it worse, i then tried hypnotherapy and CBT (private), the therapist i am seeing now thinks 'because i am possibly on the autistic spectrum CBT wont work and it makes it harder to cure my anxiety' , i feel like i have tried everything appart from medication. I never used to be this bad, i used to be a chef and i thrived on stress, this weekend i am catering for a family wedding (which i have done 100 times before before i had the dd's) and i cant stop worrying about everything going wrong and me letting everyone down, christmas was the same (we had family around and i made my self ill worrying that it wouldn't go as planned). My therapist has told me to look at mindfulness, she did a little bit with me and then sent me away to look it up un the net, are there any web sites you can reccomend?

Have you stopped consuming caffiene, alcohol and cigarettes? This will help anxiety as well as CBT and beta blockers. Exercise and a good diet will also do you the world of good. I suffered anxiety for many years and have been on top of it for 2 years now so it can be done :)

I have a friend who is a practitioner, I'll email her tomorrow and ask for recommendations.

Hiya. The Royal College of Psychiatrists publish some great leaflets. A lot of what you describe is so NOT uncommon - have a look:

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall.aspx

You might find the leaflet on OCD of interest too when it comes to worrying.
X

My DS is on the autistic spectrum marne and has had a lot of anxiety problems, we have tried counselling and CBT for him but it didnt work so i can see where you are coming from, he suffered a lot of bullying at school.
Hes 18 now so the GP has put him on a very low dose of cipramil, he takes the drops form as he cant swallow tablets, he is a lot better now, sleeping and appetite back to normal, people on the AS are very prone to anxiety and depression, i really hope you find something that works for you.

Marne I totally empathise, they are awful, hideous things. I suffered them two years ago and I wanted to die, I was so afraid. I have fibromyalgia and anxiety is part of that illness. I did eventually work out too much caffeine, nicotine and alcohol were triggers. I had CBT and didn't honsestly find it an awful lot of help. I tried to get plenty of sleep, fresh air, and I always carried a bottle of ice cold water, straight from the freezer, held it on my forehead and back of the neck and it calmed me. Another habit was putting some drops of Olbas Oil on a tissue and sniffing it, not sure if it was the action of doing it that distracted me whilst panic was rising, or the strong mint smell that took the focus off my heart racing.

Distraction is definately a good way to get through. After about the sixth attack I told myself I was clearly not about to die or having a heart attack and that this was going to be over soon. Eventually, I learned to recognise the tiny signs of one coming and whipped out the olbas oil and called someone on my mobile, just for something to do while it passed. And it did.

There is a thing called belly breathing which we used to do on the Expert Patients Course. Lots if you google.

The James-Lange Theory of Emotion says that in part we read our emotions from our body. Hence a change in breathing can have an effect on what you are feeling.

I am lucky enough not to suffer from panic attacks - but I do sometimes catch my breath, and it's horrible and scary - I have to tell myself to breathe through my nose and it will go away, and it does.

Thank you all so much, you are so helpful and kind.

Both my dd's are also on the spectrum, my eldest is 7 and has Aspergers, she already suffers fron anxiety, i worry that my anxiety will rub off on her even though i try and hide it from her . I try to take my mind off of it when i start to feel anxious, sometimes i can manage it and other times i feel like i'm going to die (my heart beats so fast it hurts), i take Calms which take the edge off of a attack (once they kick in).

Thank you for all your tips, i will try them out.

I dont drink caffine (makes me poorly), havn't smoked for 8 years and i dont drink (so i'm healthy ish).