"You're not the happy sociable person you used to be"

[Saltire]

Is a comment made to me quite a few times (in various forms) over the apst few weeks. including DH.

The reason, according to DH and others is that I am
A) Exhausted
B) Fed up
C) Not liking where I live
D) Feeling "taken a lend of"

And they are correct. i am all of the above. I am putting this in this topic as I feel many of you might understand where I'm coming from, although it should perhaps be in the Childcare topic
In answer to A , and B comes into it too, and even D I am exhausted, DH is away just now through the week, and will be until the end of July. I am working 10 hour days with no break at all, then have got a DS1 who is having panic attacks, he's awake through the night crying he's not wanting to go to school, Ds2 who is ( yes, being unreasonable here) a bit of a hypochondiraic and whetever DS1 or I have, he has it worse. I am in the middle of one of the worst Fibromyalgia flare ups, can't sleep, am not eating properly - i can go from 7am till 6pm without anything. I have a mindee who screams almost all day every day, another one who ,naturally, fights for attention over the noise of the screaming so her behaviour is quite full on. I don't go out at all much during the day, due to screaming child. I used to go to toddler group, messy play etc, but have felt the need to stop going as mindee made such a carry on, it was upsetting everyone else, and I found it very difficult with a screeching child clinging to me. I am so tired at night I don't want to go out and have a virtually non exsistent sex life (when DH is here of course), I start work at 7.30am, so am up at 6.30 to make packed lunches, get washing on/out,let dog out have a cuppa and shower.I finish work at 5.30 then have to start cooking food for DSes and myself, take dog out, clear up dishes, tidy round house do paperwork, sort out laundry etc etc. Then at the weekend,try to do thing with Dh and Dses but am so tired, have cleanign to do, taking dog out as a fmaily but cannot be bothered, jsut want to lie in bed all day

I've just had enough. Cannot make my mind up though if my depression has come back, or if it's just because I am feeling all of the above. I am so so tired, I've had a permanent headache since Sunday and actually just want to sit in the corner and cry.

Well done if you read all that

I read it and won't sympathise because that would be patronising!

Why does ds1 not want to go to school?

Can dh take the kkids out for daddy time at weekends to help his relationship with them and give you a break?

Is the fibromyalgia pain under control and if not can you go back to the gp for different meds? You can discuss any depression stuff at the same time if you feel you need to?

Is there a local teen who would appreciate some dosh for dogwalking duties?

Try and split it into small tasks to seem more manageable. Then congratulate yourself when you sort each one

Thanks purple.
Today has made me realise that something is going to give, very soon. Probably me
10 hour days, ill health, DH away and stressed teenagers is no a good comibnation at al.

Sorry I didn't answer your question. DS1 is having panic attacks, but to be hoenst, i think he's making himself worse because it seems if he's not having an attack he's panicking why not! Also got issues at school with a pupil which isn't helping

Sorry, I did ask quite a few

I also struggle with anxiety and stress, so working out why I'm anxious and what practical stuff I can do to deal with it really helps me. Often just deciding on a course of action makes me feel better iyswim?

I know a lot of the stress is work related, 10 hours a day with no break is killing me (am getting alsight break as mindee sleeping, he's had 5 mins so perhaps another 10).
DS1 is having panic attacks all the time
DS2 is just, well he's just being awkward.

i can't do it something going to give!

What can you ditch? Get 4 bits of paper. 1 is urgent 2 is important 3 is both and 4 is neither. Write all your jobs down under the appropriate heading. Burn 4 then have a cuppa and sit down to decide on how to tackle 3. Ignore 1 and 2 for now!