Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

not sure if abuse or melestation

7 replies

keyweeseed · 11/05/2011 02:20

i was 12 when my step father malested me, i left home at 15 turned to heroin untill i was 27 , give it up, stuck too a methadone perscription, ive felt upset, anger, dispear, insanly going crazy, ive slashed up, tried to overdose when i was younger, ive finally told my mum and i instantly felt a bit better, i finally got my council house and a month later when i allowed her to speak out she kicked him out, and guess where he came, yes to my house, the thing is hes been in my life since i was 6 i strangly still love him, but hate him too, ive caught him in my room on camara at my old home, also when i was an active heroin addict he used to get me to go work with him, and even though he did that 2 me i still believed in him afterall he had brought me up, anyway at work we used to fit wrought iron gates, electrical ones and they needed earthing apparantly and he sed he didnt have the propper equipment because it was expensive, and he couldnt do this thing coz he has metal in his hand so i had to stand naked in the back of a van with a wire going to the earth part in the electrical gates box thing and i held a voltage tester, naked, all this to earth some gates, i look back now and think i trusted him this is sick, he had me over again because he knows im vunerable and not fully right in the brain, has any1 herd of this do u know any1 u can ask... also like i sed hes now at my house and been here 4 10 months, and in 1 way i still love him dearly but other times he makes me sick and so so angry, why he come here i dont no and why did i let him, ive felt so guilty, i feel guilty if i throw him out, because apparantly im the only person he can rely on, but i told him to get out 2day and he just says a will he never does, we even argued about money and he looked like a pychopath i was scared of him, i just dont no what 2 do, i ask him to leave i feel guilty he stays is makin me mentally ill, OHH I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO "tear"

OP posts:
madmouse · 11/05/2011 06:49

The answer is simply - he has to leave and you have nothing to feel guilty about. I know that in practice it is not so simple, but you owe him nothing. He didn't bring you up. If he did these things to you he abused you and not looked after you.

Him saying that you are the only person he can rely on is further abuse. He is still having power over you. It is not true and you don't have to believe it. He is and can rely on himself like we all do.

Would you be prepared to tell the police what he has done to you and that you want him to leave?

madmouse · 11/05/2011 06:49

sorry word missing - he is an adult and can rely on himself

keyweeseed · 12/05/2011 00:31

thankyou for replying, he definatly has to go, just im riddled with so much guilt, if i kick him out, he has no one really to turn to, so then again i feel bad, my mum said that i have to stop looking after his best interests and look after my own, and stop protecting him, also she asked me to go to call the police, but i just cant bring myself to do it, its truley messing my brain up all this stress, alls i feel i can do is nag him everyday to get somewhere, i'll have to do the usual thing and pretend pretty much everything is normal. sometimes i wish i kept my mouth shut, but then again i used to self harm and get out of my face to deal with it

OP posts:
madmouse · 12/05/2011 08:08

you have to try and see that the guilt is yet another 'present' he gave you. You have nothing at all to feel guilty about. And if he has no one more appropriate to turn to well that is probably because of how he has chosen to live his life. And as I said before, he is an adult, he doesn't need anyone to turn to, he can stand on his own two feet. He is playing the guilt card to get you to look after him so he can keep his power over you.

Ask your mum to go to the police with you so you can explain it all together.

colditz · 12/05/2011 08:10

he's a grown man, and good men have friends they can turn to when things go wrong for them.

he cannot be a good man if the only person he can yurn to is someone he has abused all their life (that's you!)

Kick him out. He will sort himself out, selfish people always do.

bittersweetvictory · 12/05/2011 13:42

While he is still there he will still have power over you, kick him out, i totally agree with you mum, get the police if necessary, you have to think of your own health first, this man doesnt deserve any thing from you, playing the guilt card Angry how dare he, you have to get rid of this sick control freak before he can ruin any more of your life.

MotherSnacker · 12/05/2011 17:21

He deserves nothing from you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Get rid of him.xxx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page