i was 12 when my step father malested me, i left home at 15 turned to heroin untill i was 27 , give it up, stuck too a methadone perscription, ive felt upset, anger, dispear, insanly going crazy, ive slashed up, tried to overdose when i was younger, ive finally told my mum and i instantly felt a bit better, i finally got my council house and a month later when i allowed her to speak out she kicked him out, and guess where he came, yes to my house, the thing is hes been in my life since i was 6 i strangly still love him, but hate him too, ive caught him in my room on camara at my old home, also when i was an active heroin addict he used to get me to go work with him, and even though he did that 2 me i still believed in him afterall he had brought me up, anyway at work we used to fit wrought iron gates, electrical ones and they needed earthing apparantly and he sed he didnt have the propper equipment because it was expensive, and he couldnt do this thing coz he has metal in his hand so i had to stand naked in the back of a van with a wire going to the earth part in the electrical gates box thing and i held a voltage tester, naked, all this to earth some gates, i look back now and think i trusted him this is sick, he had me over again because he knows im vunerable and not fully right in the brain, has any1 herd of this do u know any1 u can ask... also like i sed hes now at my house and been here 4 10 months, and in 1 way i still love him dearly but other times he makes me sick and so so angry, why he come here i dont no and why did i let him, ive felt so guilty, i feel guilty if i throw him out, because apparantly im the only person he can rely on, but i told him to get out 2day and he just says a will he never does, we even argued about money and he looked like a pychopath i was scared of him, i just dont no what 2 do, i ask him to leave i feel guilty he stays is makin me mentally ill, OHH I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO "tear"