Have just been put on anti-d's after losing two babies.....has anyone else been through this too!?:(

[wannabump2006]

I had a stillborn baby at 33weeks gestation in may this year and a miscarriage in september,life has really dealt me alot of s**t in the last 6 months or so and i have just recently tried to go back to work as a nursery nurse in a baby department...with no luck atall....have been histerical with tears and just feel so worthless,my life has no meaning and i often don't realise what day it is,let alone what i should be doing day to day
I am very happily married and my dh is extremely supportive,he is my rock.x.x
we had so much planned for this year and it has just all been taken away from us
The reasons for our losses are not genetic or anything,so there is nothing stopping us having more children in the future,but i feel so unstable right now,and bitter and twisted that i went to the doctors today and told her everything.
She has now put me on anti depressants and vallium and i have been signed off sick for atleast a month
Has anyone else been in this kind of situation before? i am gong to a psychologist in the next couple of days so am hoping that wil help,but just wondered if i'm the only one that is feeling ths low right now!!??....really like to hear from anyone.xthanks.x

Message withdrawn

This is a tough & difficult time for you - talk as much as possible to deal with it. Be kind to yourself & look after yourself xxx

Ah wannabump, i have spoken to you before when you were asking about how you would cope with work and other peoples babies, you were very apprehensive then. (it was you, right?)
Yes you are absolutely right, life has dealt you shite ober the last few months and you absolutely do not deserve it.
You did your very best to move on and it must have taken all of your strength to make that decision.
Now you have acnowledged that you are still grieving for your little ones and need much more time to recover.
You have done a very good thing today, in doing so, you have gained the support of some one who is in a position to help you.
You need to have patience, you need to be gentle and kinder to yourself.
The feelings that you have are absolutely normal and are to be expected.
Did you really think that you would feel back to normal so soon after such a traumatic few months?
You sound like you have been trying your best to keep a lid on this, to crack on with every day life.
You have a huge aching painful wound in your heart and soul which will never ever heal, but will get better, with help, love, support and kindness.
OH Love, i just want to wrap you up in a huge warm blanket and take it all away from you.

Wannabump, anyone would feel the same way having gone through what you have this last year. You are doing the right thing having ADs and therapy as well. No amount of counselling can bring your babies back, but the psychologist maybe able to advise you on some coping stratergies.

Hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

Sorry for killing your thread.
Hope you are feeling a bit brighter.

So, so sorry to hear this wannabump. I can only try to imagine how you must feel. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing with ADs and some time off. Are you seeing a counselor as well? Keep posting, it really does help to talk about it.

Oh Wannabump I'm so sorry - Donbean's sentiments exactly. Wish I could take all the pain away because unfortunately I do know what you are going through.

I had a stillborn at full term followed by a miscarriage a few years later. I know it won't seem like it now but you will come out the other side. Milwards right talking about it does help loads so here's a great place to start.

My DH & I now have a very lively & lovely DS and we are trying for another. When you are ready I'm sure the Doctor/Hospital will watch you through your pregnancy like a hawk which mine did. I lost count of how many scans we had at the Hospital that's probably why my son likes having his photo taken so much! Please take care of yourself.

Hunni, I know I joke and act the goat on the TTC thread, but you know that I am thinkin gof you, don't you? I really do feel for you. You have been through so much and even though you don't feel like it now and will find it hard to believe, but you are doing really well. Life had been a real bi*ch to you and your DH, but you have survived to tell us about it. I know it is of no consolation to hear of other peoples ecperiences really, but I am on ADs as you know, as a result of my MC back in August. I was horrified at the prospect of taking them, but my doctor was great and explained that if you have a headache, you take a pill, if you break a leg, you use crutches, and if you feel down and that life is hard, you take a tablet to help you cope. They are good things, and do help.

Sweetheart, you are halfway to beating this as you have realised you need a bit of help. That is half the battle won. We are all here to help you through this a long with your DH, who sounds fantastic BTW.

Any time you need to chat, we are here, I'm here either on MN or you can CAT me.

I won't say I know what you are going through because all our situations are different, but I can say I understand where you are in life.

I'm sorry if this is of no help to you, but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and care a lot about you xxxxxx

Remember, I'm here....

Wannabump I apologise I didn't mean to sound flippant. I can't know exactly how you are feeling. Just like to say I had a similiar experience and hope that the kind words and support that other mumsnetters give on here help in some way to let you know you are not alone. I will be thinking of you and sending you very big hugs. Take care.

C.H:thanks for the lovely message,it really means alot to hear from you on this subject,as i know we've been chatting on and off now for quite awhile.xThe prospect of having to take a tablet to help me through this is quite scarey for me,i've never been one for admitting i need help of any kind,(i'm a stubborn cow),just like my mum was,and even when she died i was offered help coping with it all and i rejected it,thought i could do it by myself,and to be honest i don't think i've been quite myself ever since.
Pinewood:your message was fine,don't worry,i appreciate your support and encouragement that life does get better.xthanks.x

Right now i feel very isolated in life,nothing has any real meaning,i'm just exsisting,work made me even more bitter and twisted,having to care for others children because they either can't or won't(sorry if thats alittle harsh)....i am a really nice person..honest!,its just that the events of the past 6 months have left a bad taste in my mouth,and a new tendancy to speak my mind,whereas before i'd bottle it up!

So here i am,at home most of the day,having some 'bonding' time with my new kitten(very theraputic!),and pottering around doing housework etc,and getting my daily fill of daytime t.v!!

Don't worry though,that won't be for long,just perhaps for this week,then i am tutoring my cousin in english lit,as hes struggling abit,so thought i'd help out as got an a-level in it(although my spelling has alot to answer for sometimes!),so thats on a weds,i've got my own course(nvq3 in childcare)to complete,so will be doing that most of the time,and there are a few home improvements that need seeing to,so will crack on with that before xmas too!

So i won't really be that bored,and i figure the more i keep myself busy and plan future events the better i'll feel,right!?.x

I'll keep you all informed as to how things are going,i know i'll speak to a few of you on the other boards too!.x
Hopefully i'll be back on track soon,and able to start trying for another baby.x.x.x...........watch this space!.x

Thank you for your message. What's your kitten's name? I found my dog a great comfort at the time. Probably as you can talk, cry & scream all you want and they still come back to play! - I luv 'em animals that is! Look after yourself.

wb2006,I suffered x2 mc and I did get referred for councelling (sp?)..well I say referred, it was more of a request from me. I saw a mw councellor at the hospital and she was brilliant. I saw her weekly until I felt I didn't need her anymore. She was just someone who I could take to and who didn't know me. I knew I could tell her all my thoughts and feelings and know that what I was experiencing was normal. Sure there were times I felt I was going mad when she asked me "so have you ever felt like pinching someones baby" and started to take notes. But like dh explained to me she had to record everything I said so she could "cover her own back" if anything like that did happen. I was mortified at the time but now realise she was only doing her job.

I used to look forward to the sessions as each time I felt a step closer to becoming the happy me again. When I got pregnant with dd I couldn't wait to show her the 12 week scan on the day I had it and when dd was born dh & I took her to see her when she was 1 week old.To me I thought it was a lovely ending to a sad story. I just hope that other ladies she speaks to can get a positive outcome like dh & I did.

If you can get councelling then I would 100% recommend it.
I wish you all the best with your future to become a mum. Keep positive.