Panic attacks - getting REALLY pissed off now!!!

[Flippingebay]

I?ve had panic attacks for about a year now (also had them in my early 20s). Thankfully I just get them at work. My doctor has prescribed me 40mg of propanlol which I take, as and when, I need them. I tend to know when I?m likely to have an attack so take them before meetings etc.

I?ve also halfway through my CBT course and thought things were getting better. I?ve been holding workshops with 20 plus people and being able to cope etc. Had a bit of a knock back last week in a team meeting where I had to leave (pretended to have to take a phone call) compose myself then go back in.

But today, I?ve had a standard meeting, in the restaurant at work, with my boss and another director, nothing new, completely informal, should have been a nice steady meeting. My boss borrows my pen to draw a diagram and boom!!! Off it goes, all because he?s taken away my pen which I use to write notes (it?s a safety thing for me) bloody pissing stupid of me! God I?m so fed up with this. I know they are irrational, I know it?s a primal thing, I know it?s all in my head so why can?t I just stop them. The heart goes into meltdown, it races, I get breathless. I try all the tricks I?ve been taught, breathing techniques, talking (internally) to myself but it takes at least 5 minutes to subside. I know no one has noticed as they were talking, but right now I just want to curl up and cry in a corner somewhere.. This is all getting too bloody much for me!

I like my job, I know I can do my job, it?s not pushing me outside my comfort zone so why does this keep happening to me? I?ve got a big meeting next week in London with a client and my boss, and I know it?s going to be a terrible day as I?m already working myself up about it. I?m trying so hard not to, telling myself the right things but all I want to do is hide! I won?t as I know it?s the wrong thing to do but I?m sick of having to try so damn hard to do stuff others (and me a few years ago) can do without thinking.

Sorry, I know I?m ranting, just need to get it off my chest.

Hey Flippingebay,

Just read your post, but dnt have the time to reply properly at the moment. I will e back as soon as my little angels have gone to bed.

Its best to get it off your chest :)

Speak as soon I can! x x x

Thanks Yommy Mommy

Hi Flipping, I could have written your post as I also suffer panic attacks - usually in meetings or when I'm teaching (I do training). Nightmare. Some days I seem to cope just fine and then on others (sometimes when I'm tired or feeling slightly off colour), they come on full blown. I feel faint and dizzy and sweaty - no-one does seem to notice although I can't believe they can't tell!! I have no answers really as I've tried everything. Just wanted to sympathise and say you are not alone!

Hello i get panic attacks mainly at work and i am now taking Prozac which is working really well. i don't feel panicky but it is making me more tired....I think its about breaking a cycle but I haven't been successful at breaking that cycle and I have had panic attacks since I was 18 and am now 42 :(
I have been looking at something online called Mindfulness which somebody on here recommended...its about trying to live in the moment and it really helped me a lot on Saturday when i had to present at my job.

Hey Flipping,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so fed up, I think its a phase all us anxiety suffers go through until we either learn to live with the anxiety or become superb at managing it.

I have had it since not long after the birth of my DS1 (so almost 5 years) I used to cry all the time at first, I was just so frustrated and I just wanted my old self back. The anxiety has gotten much better with time, but I still do go down hill the odd time. I am actually going through a bad patch at the moment as I am just about to go on 2 holidays and start a new job - pretty stressful stuff! Eek!

Just really wanted to let you know that you are not alone and things can/will get better! :o

philnteds - what other side affects do prozac have??

x x x

Thank you so much for listening and the responses. I had my CBT course again tonight and it looks like i might be making things worse by using pens and my medication as safety mechanisms. Trouble is I'm at a loss as to how I'd get through some of the meetings without the medication. Some time when my heart races I hyperventilate and get breathless which means I can't talk, that's an issue if I'm giving a presentation. :D the tablets actually stop the heart racing which in turn stops me hyperventilation :(

Just fucked off today, hopefully I'll be more positive tomorrow which always helps. My DH has told me that if I need to, we can pay for counselling outside of the NHS.

Mindfulness works because it takes your attention away from yourself and how you are feeling which in turn sorts out the panic attack.

Say if I got panicky in a supermarket car park and needed to drive home with ds in the back I would pay attention to the way the steering wheel felt in my hand, the colours of the other car, the trees in the wind, the traffic lights, the sound of the engine and the radio, the smell of the coffee in the shopping bag etc etc.

I know it is something I keep pushing on here, but always remember that panic attacks are innocent and annoying, unpleasant but nothing to worry about, it is the anxiety about getting a panic attack that takes up so much brain space - but all it is is too much oxygen in your system...

Long time ago a psychologist taught me to hold my breath when hyperventilating. Works a dream but takes practice as it is counter intuitive when you feel breathless.

Flippingebay I did wonder when reading your first post whether taking propanolol when you expect a panic attack actually makes things worse. And holding on to 'as long as I have my pen I'm ok' means in my view that
what you really need is some more help trusting and relying on yourself.

Not 'I've got my pen I'm ok' but 'I've got myself I'm ok, it's only a panic, I can plant my feet and deal with this'.

I think you're right Mad, I'll have a read on Mindfulness as it sounds like it may help with my breathing. I'm not sure what tips what off. If my heart races because I can't breath (or I'm hyperventilating), or my hyperventilating is making my heart race.... It feels like my heart starts beating really quickly which makes me breathless but that might just be my interpritation. Either way I think I need help with controling my breathing. I try the 3 seconds in, 7 seconds out which works, just not quickly enough. It takes me a few minutes to stop it. So might try holding my breath and concentrating on something else (maybe paying attention in the meeting might help for starters) :D

I'm going to talk to a counciller today to see if maybe she can help. I find the CBT course useful but because you can't talk about your specific issues it's very generic.

Thanks again for the replies, it's nice to know i'm not alone (corny I know)

The heart beating quickly is a result of breathing too fast and/or too deeply - it is the high oxygen level that causes all the other symptoms.

So 3 sec in 7 out would indeed work to restore order

Flappingebay - i think it's fine to have your trusty pen! When i was at school i used to scribble and doodle to help me stay calm in certain classrooms. Even then i used to look round and wonder why it was so hard for me to sit there and so easy for other people that they don't even notice what they are doing! I know how you feel! I've suffered panic attacks since i was 10 (although have always been anxious) and this is the first time i've come across other people who seem to have similar problems.

Anyway, i know people might say that you should get rid of the 'pen' or whatever it is that helps you through but i can't see the problem really, if this is what helps when things are bad. Would it help if you had another 'back up' pen in your bag incase this happens again?

It is the most horrible thing to have to put up with - although i do truly believe that sufferers of panic attacks are fantastic at hiding it! Hope things improve soon x

hi flippingebay does your heart start beating rapidily first or after something has tipped you off?
im asking because after years of being told i was suffering from panic attacks (14 years) and my heart rate was making me so breathless i couldnt talk ive now been told i have a problem with my sinus node which misfires ,which makes my heart gallop then makes all the other feelings come on such as breathless,sweaty,clammy,nausea,dry mouth,pins needles in hands and lips.
for me this was good news as i had exhausted all non medical avenues and nothing had worked,now i know why.

My heart tends to race after something tips it off. It tends to be when I'm in a stressful situation (for me anyway) and everyone is looking at me. Such as in a meeting. I'm worse when I've got to wait until my turn to talk - you know the sort of thing, everyone goes around the table and tells everyone whats been happening for the week, I can feel myself get really stressed and at the moment it's my turn to talk it feels like someone has plugged my heart into a socket after a few seconds of talking I then get really breathless, like I've been running which means I then can't talk properly.

When I think about it logically I know it's really daft and I don't know why it happens, I've always been a really happy and confident person so think has knocked me for 6, getting reet fed up with it all now :(

Hi all

YommyMommy so far the Prozac is making me tired and sluggish but other than that a I am LOT calmer. I have been on it for 6 weeks and would be prepared to think about going down to 10mg if possible as i can't get up in the mornings! I noticed a difference in anxiety levels after a couple of days.

Madmouse thank you for the info re: mindfulness i think that it is very useful. For me its all about trying to stop all of the rapid useless panicky thoughts firing through my mind and just concentrating on what is happening at that moment. Whether or not i could use it to tackle some of my worst fears would be interesting :)

I think panic/racing heart/racing thoughts is like an alarm system that is on overdrive its 'flight or fight' and once that alarm goes off its difficult to get it to switch off again and I know for myself that if i keep re-visiting the same situations (without medication) I have the exact same amount of panic/anxiety as before.....
but having said that panic attacks are not dangerous as madmouse says but they are bl**dy awful :(

Hi,
I've been having panic attacks (plus insomnia, anxiety, palps, shaking) off and on for years. Sometimes mild, other times so bad I actually believe I'm going to have a heart attack or stroke. Mine can even come on when I'm sat relaxing watching t.v.

In early March, following three months of between 1-10 panic attacks a day and having not slept properly for months, I went to see my GP. I bawled my eyes out for about 20 minutes, but she actually listened to me and advised me to try a low dosage anti-depressant (which terrified me) for a few months. Well, I started to take Sertraline (Lustral) 50 mg on 1st March. I won't lie, the first couple of weeks were absolutely awful and I almost stopped taking it, but I had been warned that I would feel worse before I felt better. However, about 3 weeks into the prescription, I woke up feeling normal. By normal I mean I felt like I used to feel before all the "crap" started. I don't feel particularly euphoric or happy, just normal.

I fall asleep within 10-15 minutes of going to bed (unheard of, for years), I don't worry about everything and everyone. I don't feel like I'm going to be sick when my 11 year old tells me she's having problems with a nasty kid at school - I'm calm, keep everything in prospective and best of all, haven't had one single panic attack since I started taking the pills.

My GP has told me to stay on them for at least 9-12 months to give myself time to heal and unless I suddenly develop any side effects (& there are a few, so I haven't read them - I just gave the sheet to my husband to read), I will certainly stay on them until the 9 months is up and then gradually come off them and see how I go.

Hope this helps, even if like me, you're dead against taking medication. Sometimes, you just have to to regain quality of life and hopefully, it won't be for ever.

pisceanmummy it is great that the tabs are helping you but you will need to do something to stop the attacks coming back when you stop the pills. Has your GP offered you some counselling?

Hi Madmouse,
Yes, when I last suffered badly (8 years ago now) I went for counselling for weeks and tried a variety of treatments (holistic therapy, accupuncture, reflexology, aromatherapy) including herbal ones. In the end, the only thing that got me out of the house as I was becoming increasingly agoraphobic for fear of having an attack when I was out, was medication. I've been pill free for 8 years, apart from taking Kalms and Valerian when I was particularly stressed.

counselling has moved on in 8 years and it is worth asking for some CBT

I am suffering at the moment (have started my own thread so I don't overtake this one) and I see your pen as a "coping mechanism".

I personally don't think this is a bad thing as what will happen eventually is that you will feel less and less anxious thanks to your coping mechanisms, which in-turn will mean you wont have to take medication to help control your symptoms which then will eventually lead you to being "ok" with out your pen.

My own counsellors tell me that having coping mechanisms is a good thing as they produce positive effects which will then build confidence in that situation which will lead to less anxiety.