Things just keep getting worse

[bakeacake]

I have a lovely 10 month DS and try as a do to stay positive, it just feels like the last year has been a constant set of blows and I don't think I can take any more. I'm really feeling depressed now and it's hard to face the day at times.

Basically, DS has been unwell for 7 weeks now. He's had 3 colds, tonsilitis, an ear inf. and now bronchitis. The antibiotics for the tonsilitis didn't work (he just got a v. upset tummy instead). He is now on AB's again as he has bronchitis so not much choice really. I feel so trapped in the house to protect other childern from DS' germs etc. and have to decline walks in the park and swimming sessions etc. My DH is v. good at looking after DS if I want to go out but I want to go out with DS sometimes!! On top of this we are having big probs with projectile vomiting- he does this on average once a day. This is obviously amplified greatly when he has a cold and the only thing that gets rid of morning congestion is to give him some milk and then he'll be sick to clear everything out (sorry TMI). Dr's won't do anything as his weight has been ok. He is also at about a 5 month olds stage with eating- he can only manage blended food and will even throw up on that sometimes if it goes down the wrong way. He is hard to persuade to eat anyway so it is utterly soul destroying.

I also feel his development is behind, particularly communication wise. He doesn't really copy anyhing and doesn't clap, wave or lift his arms to lifted up. I generally feel he's a bit odd. That probably sound neurotic but I am really worried about autism.

The beginning of the year was tough due to probs at the end of pregnancy and DS being in SCBU. He wouldn't latch on to bf and had a milk allergy diagnosed at 6 weeks.

Any thoughts would be really appreciated. It feels like a really hellish time tbh and can't see any end soon. Thanks for reading x

I think you don't need to worry about his development, if he feels crap he probably just doesn't feel like doing all the things he would do if he didn't feel so ill.

As for the daily projectile vomiting, go to the gp and say you want refering to a paediatric nutritional consultant. I think, but don't know, that they are not allowed to refuse. Or ask to see another doctor. Just because his weight is fine doesn't mean you're not having a problem with his food, he should be able to eat things like little bits of toast by now, you shouldn't have to blend anything.

Obviously if he has a milk allergy you can't give him normal yoghurt, but what about goat's milk? Is he allergic to that too? It might be worth seeing if you can get goat's milk yoghurt if he can have it, as the antibiotics may have upset the balance of bacteria in his gut, upsetting his stomach.

when you say you give him milk to make him sick, do you mean his own formula milk, by the way?

I have already asked for a private paed appt. in the hope we will be seen quicker. I may now phone up the one we were fobbed off by to ask about the nutritional cons. He had no ideas for how to proceed with the eating. Toast- no chance

Oh yes, I meant his formula milk. Don't intentionally give it him to make him sick- but if he is really blocked up that is what tends to happen- SO grim

You poor thing! I've got an 11 mo ds too but less health probs than that. I do find it very scary when they are ill and just very tiring too. Well done for coping so far! I always wonder how I'd cope if he'd been ill often cos I haven't coped very well when he was.

What's your hv like? Sometimes they know more than doctors about normal child behaviour, I think. If your doctor/hv aren't worried about ds's development (unless they just don't seem to care) then you probably shouldn't be either - children develop very differently and if they are growing in one area they may be much slower in another. But it's worth checking with a second health professional or someone who deals with a lot of kids. Are you in a Sure Start area?

Or soya yoghurt? (yuck!) But it is good he's putting on weight - that does suggest he's not doing too badly, though I understand you want to get it sorted out.

Can you visit/go out with friends who don't have children? Or whose children are not prone to catching things? I wouldn't have thought a walk in the park was likely to spread the infection anyway very easily if they are still in pushchairs, though obviously swimming is out. Personally I would agree to meet up with friends definitely where the kid just had a cold, and probably tonsillitis though maybe not ear infec/bronchitis. Are you sure your friends actually mind?

Big hugs!!

bakeacake - my dd was a bit the same. She did the projectile vomiting on and off from weaning point (6mths) till about 13-14mths. Her weight was fine too.

I put it down to other mild food allergies(she too has a dairy allergy) and mucous from her colds (she has subsequently been diagnosed with asthma too and bad bouts of asthma/chest infections used to start with projectile vomiting).

Keep nagging to see the paediatrician but please try not to worry too much. The developmental stuff seems normal tbh. My DD was never interested in clapping, or imitating. She's as bright as a button though (and fine now asthma, eczma and allergies aside).

Firstly, Angela2005 and QueenVictoria thank you so much for your lovely replies. I'm sorry for not responding- I don't think I checked my thread after a couple of days as I thought it would be buried beneath others, plus maybe I'm making a fuss about nothing.

Well the bronchitis had cleared by the Monday (8th) but had been replaced by an ear infection. Cue 4th set of AB's. This again cleared in less than 2 days. I wasn't so bold as to think we were over things but I didn't expect things to get as bad as they have DS had to be ambulanced to A&E last Sun with a severe skin rash. His face was so puffy you couldn't see his eyes- incredibly scary. He was admitted til Tuesday morning. The rash was 'spectacular' to quote the doctors. Large red areas with browny/ purply centres (target lesions). They did blood tests and concluded it must be an allergic reaction to something unknown. DS was then discharged and a day later became unwell (he was well during the rash) with d and v (on top of the reflux) and developed croup that night. The doctors have changed their tune and now think the rash was an allergic reaction to the virus he now has (he has cold and a bad cough atm plus awful retching and vomiting).

I really cannot cope anymore. DS' development is going nowhere either, although not surprising atm I guess. I just CAN'T deal with this anymore. How much more can a 10 months old body take???? I have thought about asking to see a counsellor as I am struggling so much with everyday life and just want to run away. But, at the end of the day, a counsellor can't help with DS' probs and if he was well I would feel totally differently.

sounds like you need someone to help take of you so you can continue to help ds.......obviously follow the medical route with him but why not ask hospital to put you in toucjh with a suppport group or even a counsellor.
Big hugs and fwisw when you think someoething wrong - it is (my dd2 o autistic spectrum and I knew problems soon after birth)....not necxessarily what you think so don't rush into conclusions but don't be fobbed off either.
huge hugs.

bakeacake - was your DS premature? If so, then his age for the purposes of developmental milestones will be adjusted to take this into account.

I don't think you're making a fuss about nothing. It sounds horrid for you. 10 month old bodies can be pretty resilient! It's the mums that struggle more, I think... Honestly, a lot of babies have health problems, development problems and all sorts but turn out fine. Or just develop slower for a while then overtake.

Counselling might be good - its worth a try, isn't it?, or ask your hv if she can refer you to homestart/surestart or somewhere. They can maybe send someone just to be a friendly ear over a cuppa or if you prefer to help you out practically once a week in some way, or go out with you and ds.

At the moment, I feel that DS is not doing anything new because he's just concentrating on surviving. So, I'm trying to put development to the back of my mind at the moment.

I agree counselling may help but I would be much happier if the actual problem was being dealt with. Have just received the paed's prescription and realised one of his new drugs is losec- pretty strong stuff so we'll have to give that time to have effect.

I just want the medics to admit that these non-stop infections are due to DS being violently sick so much. He then gets infections and point blank refuses solids. He doesn't eat for weeks on end. He has now got tonsilitis but I REFUSE to give him his 5th set of AB's as it does not solve the long term probs. I saw the gastro team nurse this afternoon as DS has had blood tests and he seems to think my gut feelings were right. At the moment, I cannot even get milk into him (he does about 10 sucks then stops). He is prob getting around 10oz a day so not quite dehydration levels and he is still quite happy (when not puking) but sleepy. He has lost a 1lb in the last week. What do I do?

oh gosh. I have no idea what you should do, bakeacake. I think you're right to keep pushing if your instinct tells you that they aren't tackling the real problem. It's good you've found a nurse who agrees. sorry, can't give any advice, but lots of sympathy.

You have a lot on your plate. It must be bloody horrible. You sound very low.
Do you mind me asking, have you done the Edinburgh Test? Some of the things you say sound familiar (I had PND).
Can you talk to your HV?

Things have been slightly better in last 3 days. DS is eating again and sleeping well. However, I am just waiting for the next infection. We normally only have 3-5 good days inbetween them! It is ridiculous. Have promised myself that if DS gets one more infection in next couple of weeks and is hardly drinking, we will go straight to A&E as it seems the only way to see a paed. Our next apt is not til 21st Dec. I hope the losec sorts out the reflux a bit and have a knock on effect on his general health and appetite.

I've not heard of the Edinburgh test. What is it? Would be interested to see what my 'score' is! I don't think PND though as DS only has to do something new or not be sick for a day for me to feel 90% better. It just gets me down when it is just blow after blow after blow. None of them that awful in isolation, just the constant setbacks. 1 step forward, 2 steps back.

test here
Hope you manage to catch your breath
Keep us posted

Glad he's had a good few days. hope it continues this time - let us know.

BP- thanks for the link. I got 11 which they say is fine but I think near the cut off for PND. I don't think I have PND- just v. down because I feel I can't plan anything because DS is either ill, likely to vomit or refusing to eat.

Thanks Angela, he seems illness free at the moment but his reflux was awful yesterday. 2 massive vomits- hideous

yuck!