Some advice for a family member please

[weejie]

Hi I'd like some advice please. I am concerned about a family member and am not sure what to do. Perhaps if I list my concerns you could give me some advice

• losing friends due to telling extreme lies like having cancer or having been raped. Im not sure that last one didn't happen, its just that the story changes materially each time it's told
• talking inappropriately about sex life
• putting stuff in bags then in other bags and having the house filled with loads of stuff in bags
• anger issues
• once dropped of radar for a few days so I went round as concerned and they were in the house and they were in dressing gown and screamed at me to get out
• you can never be sure they are telling the truth
• unable to sustain friendships

This is all never talked about with the family member or within the family
However a key relationship has broken down and I am worried about increasing isolation and so am wondering if I should somehow address these behaviours.

Help please!

bumping, would really love some advice...

well it's obvious that something isn't right there, but what advice do you want? We cannot diagnose on here and without knowing what relationship you have to this person and what you want/hope to do there's not much advice to give.

I was wondering if anyone had any experience of trying to say, 'look something isn't' right here' to someone, and how it went. Or if I should just ignore it in the same way that it has always just been ignored.

and if I were to say, look, your behavior is odd, do I have enough to get the person to listen? or would it completely estrange us? should I just keep quiet? or next time a strange story is told do I say, look, that's completely not true.

I feel completely out of my depth doing anything other than the family always does of pretending everything is absolutely fine...

i am a niece of the person, but we are close in age . i'd like them to recognise there are issues so they can be addressed so the person doesn't lose more friends .

the person goes through life moving from group of friends to group of friends , then alienating them and moving on . there is now a child and no partner and i'm worried at the least by social isolation .

well if there is a small child involved there is more of an incentive than usual, especially if you are concerned over the welfare of the child.

I'm currently trying to persuade someone in my church who has sought my help over legal matters to see a doctor because I know for a fact that she is paranoid and has irrational thoughts (eg she has told me that her housemates have cameras in their rooms so they can see when she enters the kitchen so they can stitch her up with something and she invited my male colleague who I got her to see for her legal problem to propose to her) - and it is hard and basically I'm getting nowhere fast. She keeps saying 'you don't believe me do you' and I keep explaining that I don't think she's lying but that her head tells her strange things.

It is a tricky one and as she is an adult and not a risk to herself and others there is not much you can do other than ask her to seek help and offer some support. If there is serious danger to the welfare of the child you may need to contact the health visitor or if serious social services.