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Mental health

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Original poster

it feels like it's creeping up on me again....

16 replies

blushingm · 16/04/2011 21:16

i was on ad's and antipsychotics for 4 1/2 years until january this year - it was for treatment resistant depression. My psychiatrist wanted to add another ad but i said ' what if i take nothing?' he said ok/ Well i weaned myself off over about 10 days and thought i was ok

the last 4 weeks or so i have been feeling very anxious and down and all the feelings comin back. All I want to do is sleep but i don't sleep well. I can't concentrate, I'm eating everything in sight - even if i feel like im about to throw up i will carry on eating. I am so very tearful and feel like i am no use and no good at anything. All the guilty feelings about breatfeeding (or giving up without enough of a fight), think my dc are not happy. Everything irritataes me and i just cant motivate myself to do anything worth while. I hate going anywhere as people are looking at me and judging me and laughing and talking about me

im not sure if i just feel safe taking the meds and that's why i feel like i want to go back on them or if i really do need them or if i am just feeling/thinking how everyone else does

do i see my gp or the psychiatrist or just get on with life? - im so confused

OP posts:

NanaNina · 16/04/2011 22:04

blushingmum - I think it was rather unwise to stop taking your meds over 10 days, after 4 + years on ADs and antipsychotics. I think you psychiatrist was very irresponsible to say "ok" when you asked if you could take nothing. He/she should have warned that this would mean you would become unwell again very quickly. How long ago was it when you stopped the meds?

I think you need to see your psychiatrist as a matter of urgency. You need to take his/her advice about what drugs you need to be on and then you need to take them, as without them you are going to be ill.

I am a bit concerned about your thinking that people are looking at you and judging your and laughing at you, as I am sure this is not the case. This sounds to me like you thinking is a little out of touch with reality. Please get some medical help before you feel any worse, because then it will take much longer to get better.

Will you be able to get an appt to see your psychiatrist soon. You may need to see your GP to get referred, but please act now before things get really out of control.

Sending warm wishes and hoping you will get back on the meds and always take the psychiatrist's advice in future.

Original poster

blushingm · 16/04/2011 22:36

thanks for replying nana - i really appreciate it

i finished the meds by the middle of february so it's been about 2 months. I assumed when he said ok to no meds that he thought that there was nothing really wrong with me so i didn't need them. I find it hard to believe that i was ill - maybe it was all for attention, to make me feel special and that i was wasting their time and money

i do feel like as soon as i'm out of ear shot peopple are saying nasty things about me and that they are only actually being nice to my face and they really dont like me or if i am shopping people are looking what i am buying and think im fat enough and i should only be buying salad etc. it's my anniversary next weekend and dh wants to go out for a meal - im dreading it as people will be thinking i shouldnt order chips etc

i have the number for my consultants secretary but id be so ashamed/embarrassed to speak to her/ask for an appointment - but then if i go to my gp what do i tell her?

OP posts:

NanaNina · 18/04/2011 00:34

OH Blushingmum - I am feeling more and more concerned about you. You say the Psychiatrist wanted to add another AD to your meds and it was then that you suggested coming off everything. Why would he have been wanting to add to your meds if he thought there was nothing wrong with you. Again I can't believe how irresponsible he was to agree to you coming off all your meds, and doing it in 10 days was asking for trouble.

I still think your thinking is becoming something of a problem. I know mental illness makes us think things about ourselves that aren't true and yes we do think people are fed up with us. However you are now imagining that people are saying nasty things about you behind your back, and worrying about people thinking you should be buying salad! Most people are far too preoccupied with their own lives and shopping to care 2 hoots about what other people are doing/buying.

To be honest I think you are either hypersensitive (which is quite possible) or your thinking is out of touch with reality (and you did mention anti-psychotic meds before which you stopped taking)

Look you must phone the consultant's secretary for an appt - there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about - that is their job that they have chose to do and get very well paid - treating people who are mentally ill is what they have chosen to do. SO you need to be seen asap. If you can get to see the pysch this way then do so. If you have to see the GP first, then you tell her what you have written on this thread - easy!
You can print the page off and show it to her.

Please blushingmum take some action NOW and come back and tell me how you have got on.

In the meantime take good care and go out for thatmeal and eat as many chips as you like!!

madmouse · 18/04/2011 13:02

Hi Blushingm I remember talking to you on the thread you started at the time. If I remember correctly we then all told you not to go ahead with all this. I'm sorry that you did not feel able to take that advice on board but even more sorry that you now feel this way. I wish it had worked for you IYSWIM

But now you MUST go back to the psychiatrist and the GP and explain that it is NOT going right and that you need to go back on meds.

Your decision to come off meds showed a certain lack of insight in your situation and NanaNina is right that it appears that you are currently not quite in touch with reality. People are not talking and laughing at you behind your back - the fact that you feel that is probably a sign that psychosis is creeping back in. Please get some help now before that gets worse.

Original poster

blushingm · 18/04/2011 16:22

madmouse - i remember that thread and you and the other posters were absolutely right..............................i don't think i should have stopped the medication , I so wished I'd taken advice from someone who had experience rather than trusting someone whio has only read about things in books. My psychiatrist is supposed to be really good and has won awards and stuff.

i have managed to get an appointment with my favourite GP for the middle of next week but i don't know where to start with trying to explain to her what i want to say

I just want to cry but I can;t explain why and my poor dc's have born the brunt of my irritability today. Hopefully the GP will be able to make some sense of what I want/need and that next week comes quickley

Again I really appreciate both of you taking the time to reply and am that madmouse remembers me!

OP posts:

NanaNina · 18/04/2011 22:58

Glad you have made that appt BM - well done. Pity it is not until the middle of next week but I assume that was because you had to wait for an appt with your favourite GP.

If you feel you are going to have trouble explaining how you feel to your GP, make a few notes before you go and hand them over to him/her. Don't whatever you do try to make light of your situation, and you muust be totally honest and tell the GP that you think people are talking about you behind your back and being critical of what is in your shopping trolley. I say this because these are the things that make me worry that your thinking has gone a little awry and you were previously on anti-psychotics.

I am sure you will get the meds that you need, and will not take chances again with decided to come off them in 10 days!!

strawberry17 · 19/04/2011 07:53

I too am totally shocked that a psychiatrist let you just stop your meds like that

Original poster

blushingm · 26/04/2011 21:11

well i went to my appointment with the GP today. It went like this:

Dr: I BM - I haven't seen you for a while
Me: No
Dr: How long ago did you stop the meds?
Me: About 2 and a half months
Dr: You aren't feeling well are you? Was it your idea to stop the medication?
Me: Uh Huh (sob sob sob sob)

She knew as soon as I walked in the door why I was there - I hadn't even sat down before she started looking concerned

She has precribed me 50mg sertraline and made me promise to take it and that I must ring her in 2 weeks (or before if I need her). If she's not there I must leave a message and she will call me back as soon as she can. If I don't phone her like I promised she will phone me and keep calling til I answer.

OP posts:

NanaNina · 26/04/2011 21:47

WOW BM - what a caring GP you have. So good to know that some of them do exists. I too have a wonderful female GP but so many GPs seem so hopeless on mental health issues. I am assuming you now know that you must take the meds.......

Hope things start to get better for you.

Original poster

blushingm · 26/04/2011 21:55

thanks nananina - she is lovely, thats why i waited a bit longer to see her. After DD was born she turned up at my house to see me as my midwife asked her for some advice about me and she was worrirf. I just feel a bit silly. I must have looked really miserable that she knew without even asking a question why I had come to see her

OP posts:

Original poster

blushingm · 26/04/2011 21:57

and yes I will take the meds - my dh will put them by my breakfast 1st thing in morning so he can see i take them

OP posts:

Original poster

blushingm · 27/04/2011 15:06

1st tablet gone - i wonder when or if they will start to do anything???

OP posts:

NanaNina · 27/04/2011 22:34

Oh BM you will have to be patient - taking ADs as you know is not like taking a paracetomol for a headache. They do I think take 2 - 4 weeks to kick in. Really glad you now see that you must take the meds and not just stop them on a whim.

Let us know how you get on.

Original poster

blushingm · 03/05/2011 20:21

thanks nananina -

i have noticed anything yet - not even any side effects - I can't help thinking maybe that's because i dont really need them, but like you said it's early days............................

OP posts:

Original poster

blushingm · 14/05/2011 21:56

well i haven't noticed any thing yet appart from feeling sick sometimes.

My dr called me yesterday to see how I was - she increased the dose to 100mg and offered to sign me off work as i am finding it soooo difficult to get up and get to work and then to concentrate when i get there. then i constantly worry that i am going to get things wrong and get in trouble

i don't know what to do ..........................

OP posts:

NanaNina · 14/05/2011 22:09

Hi BM - sorry that you are not feeling much better. I think you should try the increased meds and agree to be signed off work. You are not fit for work at the moment, and having a couple of weeks off will give you a bit of time to relax and not have to worry about the pressure of work.

Hope things start to improve soon.

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