Hi everyone, I am having a really hard time atm, not a lot of support etc, I have two kids, my youngest has severe special needs, cannot walk, talk, has severe epilepsy and has severe development delay in all areas, my partner and I split 8 mnths ago....he now has a new gf and has had since Christmas, I still love him, even tho he treated me badly in our 7 year relationship...sooo recently I have just felt myself go down further n further, I do suffer with severe depression.....but I have a lot to deal with, esp with my son, bt have had a bad time recently with a lot of things eg...the relationship with my mum, just keeps getting worse, she is distant and not supportive especially about depression, she thinks I can just shake myself out of it....if only!! I would have done that bloody years ago!!! N also the relationship with two of my friends...they are mother and daughter and I was sorta warned about them before we started being friendly, but I like to judge people for myself and by the way they are with me....yesterday however my friend(who is the daughter-she is just 17) was calling mey fne lots and when I eventually answered she asked me if I had told her mum something personal that she had told me.....her mum had said ".....told me you had been to......." which was total bollocks as I had told her mum nthn!!! This has happened before with these two tho....usually my friend(the mother) will say to her daughter(my other friend) that I have told her something about her which is ttly untrue!! Then a big argument will follow and I am left wondering which one is telling the bloody truth!!!!
I cannot cope with it anymore, and now my ex partner is urging me to let my disabled son meet hs gf of 3 bloody mnths!!! He did not come take my son today because his gf wasn't able to be there!! He knws that I am seriously depressed at the moment, I have bn seriously thinking about taking my own life the last couple of days....and also my mum who I called for support earlier told me " I don't knw u anymore...whatever me and yr dad advise you, you do the opposite anyway" I was sooo upset by that...the fact she said she doesn't know me anymore, she doesn't help with my son, even tho last year she gave up work specifically to help me with Jack, thru her own admission btw!! I never ever asked her to, she is just generally not a good person to talk to, and we are no longer close..... I am really struggling right now, have an appointment with the Dr at 5pm today, not my usual dr tho :(, I am finding it really hard to even get up in the morning, to get dressed ( I am still in my pyjamas) and only go out if I REALLY have to....please help xxx