I've namechanged; don't think anyone would really know me but thought it would be nice to start afresh. I'm hoping that having some objective opinions will help me give some clarity.
My lovely DH and I have been together for over five years and would both love to have a baby. We have a nice home, security and family life has always been our main goal. On paper, everything looks good I suppose.
The thing holding us back is my anxiety. A fear I have that I won't be a good parent because I can't do everything that other mothers can. I've had anxiety problems in varying degrees for ten years. At the moment I suppose I'm mildly agoraphobic, able to get out and about in the local area but trying to extend the boundaries within which I feel safe and secure. I have seen a psychologist. I explained to her my entire story and why I believe it started etc, and what I was doing now. She didn't really think there was any services in the PCT that would be of use as I was 'not the usual kind of patient' she saw. She also didn't think I required medication. I came away from that appointment happy that perhaps I wasn't seen as a 'severe' case but unsure of what my next steps would be.
I realise there could be the argument of 'If you're asking whether you're ready, maybe you're not' but sometimes I think that maybe life is too short to wait for the elusive 'perfect time' that may not even come. And don't babies just really need love, which we have in abundance?
Sorry this was long, would love to hear your thoughts and experiences, especially if anyone else has been in a similar position. Thanks ladies.