Friend is suicidal, says she won't do it

[Curiousmama]

A lovely friend of mine is so very unhappy, says she's just 'existing' and is like a zombie and that she'd be happy if she got a terminal illness then she wouldn't feel the guilt of commiting suicide The only thing stopping her is her cousin whom she's very close to.

I spoke to her at length on the phone and she's very erratic. One minute ok, the next in tears. She won't go to her GP as she's scared of being sectioned and losing her job. Won't go on anti-ds because she has never found one that helped? I begger her to go to her GP but doubt she'll listen.

Not asking for advice really just offloading. I know there's nothing anyone can do. She's so lovely, beautiful,intelligent..I could go on. But very unhappy. She has no children or partner. She talked of trying to meet someone to have a baby. I didn't comment but think that'd be a very bad idea.

begged pah!

There is something people can do CM and it sounds like you are doing it. You are listening in an empathetic way and that helps enormously. I had a severe episode of depression last Easter and was on psych ward for 3 months but am not fully recovered and have many "ups and downs" and oh god I know so well that feeling of hoping I will die of natural causes so that I won't leave my loved ones with any guilt or anything else because I have committed suicide. Many is the night I go to bed hoping for a nice quick heart attack.

I wonder why your friend thinks she will be sectioned - this is very unusual for depression (am assuming that is what is wrong with your friend - certainly sounds like it) unless the person has stopped eating and drinking and then of course are a danger to themselves. Sounds like the depression has been long standing if she has tried several ADs BUT there is treatment for people whose illness is drug resistant. ECT is used with a very high degree of success for people for whom the drugs don't work. It is nothing like it used to be - patients have an anaesthetic and can't remember having the treatment - maybe just a bit sleepy afterwards. I saw several people while I was in hospital get better with this treatment.

I'm sure your friend would hate the idea - but thought I would mention it.

I am lucky to have a few very close women friends and a supportive DP. The main thing a friend can do is to listen and not give too much advice but obviously to be empathetic. Also offering to go round for a coffee helps (if you are near enough) or suggesting a visit to a garden centre or some soothing place.

It sounds like your friend is holding her job down, so that's one thing but if she is feeling so zombie like it seems likely that her ability to work will be compromised.

Sorry I can't be more helpful. But having a friend who I know I can phone and cry down the phone is so so helpful. Maybe you can be that person for your friend.

Thanks so much for your reply, it's good to hear it from your perspective. Yes she is holding her job down although she moves around and at present is working with some horrible bitchy people I've been texting her through the day though and seems to have helped?

Yes I will be an ear for her and try not to advise too much. Good luck to you hope you feel well one day x