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Mental health

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can't make decisions, then have constant regrets, main one about house, doing me head in, can't stop it going round my head, sleepless nights

1 reply

constantregrets · 10/04/2011 14:25

we bought a new house a while back. I saw another one I really liked, dp didn't view it. We opted for one and bought it. We have lived here a while now and it's still not sorted and I hate it. I really regret having chose this one and I'm mostly ok during the day, but every night i lay down and images of the other pop into my mind maddening me.. I can't sleep for it.

i keep thinking about how all the problems we have with this house we wouldn't have had with the other.

I try to be rational and tell myself I need to get over it and accept the choice and try to like my house for my own peace of mind, but then the negative thoughts just push their way back in.

I hate our house. I hate the fact there are constant problems with it so long after moving. I hate the fact I wish I'd gone for the other house. I think I made a big mistake.

How do I stop the regrets circling round my head?

Not just with the house. I agonise over every decision, google and search and compare endlessly, then finally make a decision and often regret it. Wtf that all about? I know it drives dp mad.

I also look back at major life decisions, choices, paths I took and regret them.

But the house is the big thing and I am here all the time and I feel trapped. How can I come to terms with it and stop the horrible thoughts going round and round. The teeniest thing, even the light bulb going sends me over the edge now. But there are big things too. Like after x months our tv still doesn't work (connection rather than appliance). It's my house but not my home. I am not happy here and it's really starting to affect me.

OP posts:
Thornykate · 10/04/2011 21:35

That sounds like an awful way to be feeling. What strikes me is that you say you are agonising about every decision, not just the house. Perhaps the bigger the decision the more you are ruminating over it?

FWIW your post suggests to me that you have already identified that your problem is the horrible thoughts going round & round your mind. It might not seem like it but recognising the problem is a huge step towards feeling better.

Am not into internet diagnostics but I think a chat with either a psychologist or a referral from your GP to a mental health practitioner would be very helpful for you. There are loads of ways a specialist can work with you to help you change the way you are thinking & feeling about life decisions. From what you are saying it seems like you & your partner have had enough of this so now is the time to get help. Things can & will get so much better for you once you reach out for the help.

All the best & it would be lovely to hear how you get on :)

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