How I can help my Hyperchondriac DH?

[Goofymum]

I believe my DH is a hyperchondriac. He's always been prone to depression and too concerned about his health but it's got alot worse since his brother died suddenly 6 years ago from asthma (aged 37). I know that this kind of thing can trigger hyperchondria.

He is obsessed with his health, sees the GP regularly but never agrees with the outcome (cos usually it's all clear) He has lots of tests at the hospital but never agrees when they come back clear either. In the last year he has seen an ENT specialist twice for ear and sinus problems and when they said he had mild sinus problems but nothing serious he went to see a private audiologist after googling it. He has also seen 2 GPs about chest pain. They have both said his chest is clear but he still insisted on a chest Xray (clear) and cholesterol test (came back fine). He still doesn't believe the professionals so has now booked into Bupa for a £195 heart and lung check. In the past he has believed he has had spinal problems, brain problems, an anurism (sp?). I am annoyed that one ENT surgeon said he believed DH was suffering from anxiety but it was never followed up. The GP also have not ever suggested anxiety even after seeing him every month for something new and serious.

I really don't know how to help him anymore. I have tried to be understanding, I have also lost my patience and said I believe he is suffering from anxiety. We both went to see the GP last Sept for depression but DH stopped his medication because of the side effects. The GP didn't ever follow this up and DH knew there were more medications out there but wouldn't try a different one.

Does anyone have any advice for how I can help him get help. He truely believes he is always ill and I know it is real for him. I alternate between ignoring it and it getting me down. At the moment it's getting me down and is getting ridiculous. I don't know if or how I can stop it. Help please.

I think this is anxiety, full on anxiety. Anxiety is the medical name for fear, and your H is afraid. In his case the anxiety is focussed on health, but there are many other things that people focus their anxiety on. My sister is incredibly anxious that one of her grown up children is going to die in a car accident or plane crash or something like that.

I am very surprised that the GP is not treating him for anxiety rather than all these unnecessary tests. Of course he won't believe he is clear of anything because that would mean he is no longer afraid - and he is!

I am not a medic btw but it screams out at me - anxiety. Interestingthat your h stopped his meds for depression because of side effects. All meds have side effects. Maybe he had some anxiety that they were poisoning him or something like that.

I am not surprised you are fed up with the whole thing - maybe you and your H need to find a good therapist who will be able to unravel the basis for this anxiety and this willhelp your H to see that he is suffering from anxiety not any physical illnesses. Having said that anxiety is in itself a very unpleasant illness.

Sorry can't be of more help, but until he gets psychological help that he is prepared to trust, he will have more and more "illnesses"

Thanks Nana. That is helpful in that it confirms my fears. I have to find the appropriate time to talk about this with DH and persuade him to see a GP again for anxiety and get a referral to a therapist.

I thought DH was 'much better' on anti-depressants but he just felt that the side effects (diarrhoea and drowsiness) were worse than what he was feeling without them. He would much rather believe he had a physical illness than simply having anxiety.

I have just started a new thread about my health anxiety and then i saw this one. Yes your DH has very severe anxiety and totally agree with what NanaNina said. What anti depressants was your DH on? I have been on citralopram (sp?) and it helped so much. I really hope your DH gets some help soon

Hi - i also am sure that this is anxiety, and that the right antidepressants could definitely help him, followed by CBT or other talking therapies (personally not a fan of CBT, but whatever works for you).

I think DH was on citalopram. I do think it helped him but he hated the side effects. He does know that there are several types of medication out there and I broached the subject with him tonight. he said he didn't want to be a guinea pig trying this medication and that. I think it's a sign that he doesn't believe he needs it.

It was a good time this evening to talk - he said he just wanted to have this bupa heart and lung test and if it shows nothing he would leave it alone. I said iif he doesn't we would have to go back to the doctor and look in to anxiety (didn't say it as threatening as it reads).
Judy - I just don't thnk he'll do talking therapy but we'll see.

I hope we can sort this all out too. I hate to see DH go thru this.

Thanks for all your help. I'll check your post out Gertie.,

Goofymum When I was at my lowest point I was so convinced that I was seriously ill/dying that I continuously went to the doctor for reassurance, I was so anxious I couldn't function properly. Luckily for me because of my history with PND my Doc could see what was going on but I couldn't. In the end my DH came with me to the docs and between them they helped convince me what was really the matter. So yes some tough love is needed for your DH . I wish you good luck, it will be hard but I'm sure there will be light at the end of the tunnel x

Thanks Gertie. That really helps. x

Goofy my dh suffers from health anxiety (amongst other things) and his depression can be triggered by minor health scares. He is now on Prozac (and has been for 7 years) which works really well for him.

However, my dh does recognise (eventually) when it his depression that his triggering his problems and we have an amazing GP. This means eventually we do see the light at the end of the tunnel. Anxiety and depression can come with its own set of very real physical symptoms.

I hope you get things sorted - it can be a very lonely place as the partner of someone with depression / anxiety.

Thanks Sundew. I think we will get there in the end. It helps talking to people with experience on here as sometimes I feel as though I'm losing touch with reality and that actually maybe my DH really is unwell and no-one is taking him seriously!