Hi just been told i have breast cancer

[lilruthie]

Hi to everyone not been on here in awhile, but suffer severe depression and have now been told i have breast cancer and am booked in to have a mastectomy on the 15th april, just so very scared, tearfull and am havin very angry outbursts, has anyone had breast cancer and have had a mastectomy???? just would be nice to chat to someone, my mum has had breast cancer and has had a mastectomy back in 2004 and is doin very well, but she was 60 when she was diagnosed and dont get me wrong she is helpin me all she can but being 20yrs plus younger than her i am afraid i am struggling with this, feelin very ashamed as my mum was so strong and positive through hers but just cant find the strength to be strong and feel positive.....

Hugs Ruthie xxxx

Be kind to yourself and not at all ashamed .You are grieving.I have not had breast cancer but do know many many women who have including mastectomies etc and got completely better.I even read an article that said that it enhanced their lives.Thinking of you x

Sorry you have to go through this - My mum had a mastectomy many many years ago and it is hard and scary.

I understand that you also have depression and it is good to post here, but it may not be the best place to find others who have been through the same - have you tried posting in health or in chat?

hey Ruthie- have just seen your post on the other thread about depression...there's a link to our tamoxifen thread which is just the thing you are looking for- several people have had mastectomies and everyone has had experience of breast cancer.

Hi, I work in the area of breast cancer. Treatment and therefore recovery has improved greatly over recent years - great advances have been made, allowing many many women to go on and live disease free lives. I am sure you feel you are under a dark cloud at the moment but don't be hard on yourself. It is only natural you are scared. Be good to yourself - treat yourself! Don't beat yourself up at a time like this. Try to keep positive - medicine is on your side xxx

Hi just want to thank everyone for all your kind wishes, and nice to know all that i'm feelin is normal, i must say got up today and so far feeling a little better, i know i'm going to have good and bad days just hoping today will be a good day...

Hugs Ruthie

Hello

Feeling scared and angry is completely normal and entirely understandable. I work for a certain cancer charity (we're very green!) and so many people I see tell me they feel this way. bBing young, especially when cancer is associated with older people, can also be quite isolating and add to the "it's not fair feeling".

You don't need to be strong, or brave. Feel whatever emotions you need to feel, don't feel you have to put na brave face for other people. If you can get access to a counsellor that can be very helpful, many hospitals offer this service, or try a local cancer care/hospice/day centre. If you have a cancer information cntre, they'll also be able to put you in touch with any local support groups etc.

Breast Cancer Care offer support for Young Women who have been diagnosed with cancer (aged between 20 and 45), there is more info here on the services available

www.breastcancercare.org.uk/about-us/our-services/support-for-younger-women/

Some people find other people's experiences helpful to read about, others don't. I've just been reading Lisa Lynch's experiences in her book, she has a blog as well alrighttit.blogspot.com/

Macmillan has forums where people post at all hours of the day or night, you might also find those helpful. community.macmillan.org.uk/whatsnew/default.aspx

I hope that some of it helps. Take care

I have no personal experience of this but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this and wanted to send my love and best wishes for a very speedy recovery.

Hi all want to thank everyone for there kind replies, just an update...Had my mastectomy on the 15th april but also had to have my lymph nodes removed at the same time as there was cancer cells found in them as well, feeling very sore and still in alot of pain, had to have alot of fluid drained off twice since the operation, had my follow up appointment with my surgeon on the 26th april and have now been told i have to have chemo and possibly radio therapy,also because i am premenopausal i will have to take a drug called tamoxifen for 2 to 5yrs as i am making to much oestrogen,this treatment will start after i have had chemo and possibly radio therapy the cancer they found was stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma waiting for my appointment to see the oncologist which should be within the next 2 to 3 weeks time to find out when i will have to start chemo, my surgeon is roughly saying the end of may beginning of june but will deffo know when i see the oncologist. I suffer very high and very low episodes and came out of hospital on a high, i'm guessing this is because of the relief of the surgery but monday hit an all time low, spent all day n night in bed sobbing my heart out, now today still feeling very low and tearfull, my CPN is coming to see me today so will be a great relief to talk between the tears about everything i am very lucky that i have a good relationship with my CPN really looking forward to seeing him today, sorry about the essay but just needed to off load some thoughts and about my treatment so far, to be honest most of the time it really feels like this is happening to someone else until i look and feel where my missing breast should be, i am very lucky though i have a brilliant partner who is showing me so much love and attention really dont know what i would do without him even though we have only been together a year to the day i was told i had breast cancer, i really lost my temper with him on monday and told him to leave my home and not come back as i hate putting him through all this but he wouldn't leave just left me alone in my bedroom and sobbed cos i wouldn't n couldn't talk to him about my thoughts n feelings but really started to open up with him last night.....

Hugs Ruthie xxx

P.S Thanx for anyone that will take the time to read this post.....

I'm glad your surgery went ok and I'm really sorry that you are feeling so bad at the moment.

I haven't had this disease myself but I can tell you that my best friend had a radical mastectomy over 10 years ago when she was 40. She had to have chemo afterwards but now, 10 years down the line, it is all behind her and i believe that she has been told she is cancer free. It was tough but her partner and family were and are very supportive.

I don't post on this thread but I occasionally read it and the women all seem to be VERY supportive of each other.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1177644-TAMOXIFEN-9

Hi and Thanx PollLogos glad to hear your best friend is cancer free, my mum was diagnosed back in 2004 with breast cancer and she is doing really well so i know there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel it's just finding the strength to follow that light, i have suffered depression for the past 11yrs after my breakdown back in 2000 but i am hoping with being diagnosed with the cancer it might help me to look and deal with my depression in a very different way, it doesn't sound right all the times i have tried ending my life then i get struck down with a cancer that left undetected could have possibly ended it in another way....Surgery went well but still very sore and in alot of pain but just trying to take 1 day at a time xxxx

Hugs to you n thanx for the kind words lilruthie xxx

Hi lilruthie - I'm glad Polly directed you to the Tamoxifen thread, - I know you popped in briefly to see us a few weeks ago, please do come back if you think we can help. There are several of us on there (I'm one) who suffer from depression as well as BC, - some from before DX some since. There are also several ladies going through chemo at the moment - and it can be helpful to swap notes when you are going through it.

And also we all use the thread to sometimes just get all our fears and anxieties out in the open - you can say things you might not want to say to family members.

Also do talk to your oncologist about your depression, I have found them very helpful, and they will make time to talk to you and help get you through all this, while bearing your depression in mind so that is monitored too.

I send you much love, and the best of wishes for your recovery.