how do you deal with people being determined you are the one looking at things from an incorrect point of view

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

just because there are more of them than me doesn' t automatically mean I am wrong.
If they could see what I am looking at, and seeing they would understand that I am not making irrational decisions.
It isn;t comfortable seeing things from this angle, nor is it easy to speak out saying unpalatable things but it is how I see them,
I feel sad that people just want me to see things their way and they won't entertain the idea that I may just be right on this one.

Actually because there are more of them is more likely to mean that you are right - the popular view is normally the truncated one. There is a swell of people who think that there is a 'right'view and a wrong one and that the right one is the one in the press/general culture/books. Usually they are wrong in this view because they haven't realised that this a) this is the view that gets things done for the largest interest groups and b) that it is the dominant OPINION not a fact.

Case in point, a pal of mine is constantly arguing that emotional maturity is the absence of the display of any emotion. Absence of display of emotion may be a 'development' in that it requires denying oneself in order to succeed and that takes effort .... IN ENGLAND. but worldwide, fear of emotion is a disability. Now he thinks he is right on an absolute scale that is made up of all the people he meets and the length of time he has held that opinion, but it is not 'right' no matter how many people in the room at a particular time agree - in another room more people would disagree and if it was a world view - more of the world would disagree.

Tough if people can't handle you having different world views - they are only as correct as they feel in their safe environment. If you walk into an accountancy firm in leather trousers and drunk they would all think that you are behaving in a way that can never be a successful way to behave for a modern human - yet they would wank eack other off in trafalgar square to get Keith Richard's business.

you ok greyskull? What's bugging you? Or who?

thank you missingfriendandsad
was talking to a friend today about big stuff and she is just totally determined that I am wrong and in a few years I won't be able to understand the point of view that I currently have, but there was no effort to see things from my point of view, jsut that I should see things from hers.
If she could just step into my head she would be able to see that I am right and that at some point (not yet) the right thing will be for me to not be here so I don't damage the boys. She won't even try and that makes me cross.

bythepower that's I'm sorry to say one area in which I agree with your friend however annoying she may be (and I'm no doubt annoying too!)

thats ok madmouse, I have never expected anyone to automatically see what I can see, it is the automatic refusal to comprehend that in ANY circumstances I may be right.

I have to echo what your friend (and madmouse) said. Don't know your story but I think you need to listen to your friend a bit harder.

please don;t think I am about to do myself any harm, there is no plan.

The automatic assumption that is is wrong gets my goat, you only have to look at all the brave ladies on the stately homes thread to know how much damage a parent can be (have rarely found the balls to post there)
Every day someone says that we all turn into our mothers, good god you have no idea how frightening that is - the boys really really would be better with no mum if that is true.

Sometimes we do look at things incorrectly.
Sometimes we look at them correctly.

The thing is to look at them and evaluate them and understand that we might be wrong and we might not.

Evidence (not belief) is what may sway us (not convince us) towards one or the other.

What is the disagreement?

it isn't an active disagreement, really it is just me having walked away feeling frustrated about the lack of ability to view something from a different point of view before deciding if a decision was the right one.

greyskull I'm pretty good at seeing things from others' point of view but for me some things are just non-negotiable. My dh has had times in the past that he knew with calm and absolute certainty that the best thing was for him not to be there anymore. In the middle of PTSD I felt the same and in fact have come closer than comfortable to doing something about it (owe my life to a friend responding to a text). I realise now that the one sure real way to f*ck up my ds's life is by making him deal with a mum who stepped out instead of being there for him.

It is very true that adults f8ck up children - dh and I were both f*cked up in different way. But there is parenting to be done and we can do it.

Sounds like you are really struggling

thanks MM, am ok really, things always seem to feel worse at night.
The reason I'm still here is that I want to see things differently from the way I see them at the moment. The lovely lady that I see everyweek says that she is hlding on to my hope for me as Idon't seem to be able to.

Thanks for being there last nihgt, and this morning, x

hear, hear, madmouse. Hope the outlook is brighter for you, greyskull.