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Mental health

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Original poster

Not feeling good

17 replies

chichirou · 30/03/2011 13:03

Hi, feeling really down and lonely and just need to get some things out of my head.
I have really struggled at times since the birth of DD (she is 22 mo) but thought I had sorted myself out as had been feeling a lot better lately (for about the last 3 months). However I have been getting more and more down in the last few weeks and couldn't sleep last night although was really tired and today I can't stop crying. I rang the HV this morning and she suggested I pop in next Tuesday to fill in a questionnaire. I am trying not to be negative but I feel so fed up with feeling down that I want to feel better now.
I can't seem to relax and get really panicky in the evening as DD has been coughing on and off for the last 8 weeks and I can't help her. I seem to be unable to cope with things I can't control.
I am not sure what I am writing makes sense but at least I feel like I am doing something.
Am not sure what I need to hear or do so any help/comments welcome.

OP posts:

Teaandcakeplease · 30/03/2011 13:10

You sound like you are depressed. I went to the GP as I felt a lot like you, filled in a questionnaire there and due to the score she put me on ADs straight away. After a few weeks I began to feel like a completely different person, it's amazing how different I feel.

Go to your GP, don't bother with waiting to see the hv imo.

Flower1000 · 30/03/2011 13:11

I'm with Teaandcakeplease. Go and see your GP now and talk to him/her about it. I wouldn't bother waiting if I were you.

madmouse · 30/03/2011 13:12

It is good that you want to feel better - that will help you get better. I'm a little disappointed on your behalf that the HV is asking you to pop in to see her in a week's time - instead of popping in for a home visit today or tomorrow. Can you get an appointment with your GP sooner than that?

I recognise the feeling of being unable to cope with what I can't control - with me it's deep seated and rooted in my past but it's getting better, slowly.

But don't forget that to want to make your child better is the most natural and normal feeling in the world - they're our babies, we want to fix the problem.

Not sleeping is not so great though - have you ever taken something for sleep? If you are not on any other medication maybe it's not so crazy to buy some sominex or kalms night or similar over the counter to help you sleep tonight. Not a long term solution, but sleep can make everything better.

Do you have anyone in real life who can pop over for a cuppa and a chat and a hug?

Go easy on yourself - you are doing ok, nothing to beat yourself up over and you will get better.

Original poster

chichirou · 30/03/2011 13:13

Thanks Teaandcakeplease. I just feel like a failure as surely I should be able to cope by now?

OP posts:

madmouse · 30/03/2011 13:16

chichirou no you are not a failure - that's depression talking. Would you say diabetes is the patience fault? Or pneumonia?

Original poster

chichirou · 30/03/2011 13:18

Thanks madmouse and Flower1000. I will try and be brave and go to GP. I can't stop crying so don't feel like seeing anyone, especially the GP. This is the problem: when I feel really low it doesn't feel right to go to GP as am not sure am able to speak but when I am in a good "phase" I think I don't need to.
My family leaves abroad. DH's family is only 30 minutes away but not sure how supportive they would be...

OP posts:

madmouse · 30/03/2011 13:22

how about a friend?

and you can always take this thread to the GP

Original poster

chichirou · 30/03/2011 13:28

Most of my friends work full time and don't have children. All I keep thinking is why can't I cope? How do you accept that you can't help your child? I find it incredibly hard. I will make an appointment to see GP asap and take this thread with me if I can't speak. I am so scared of dealing with this.

OP posts:

Original poster

chichirou · 30/03/2011 13:32

I have to go, DD has woken up from her nap. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

Teaandcakeplease · 30/03/2011 14:16

When I went to see the GP about how low I felt, I spent the whole appointment crying. My kids were actually 1.10 months and 3 years. I felt like I should be coping.

I'd also get your DD's cough seen again by the GP too.

NanaNina · 30/03/2011 14:35

Hi chichirou - I can't really add anything to what others are saying. I am suffering from depression (but not PND) much too old for that - am a grandmother. I had a serious episode last Easter and have been struggling ever since with so many ups and downs, or blips as the medics call them. I am in the middle of one at the moment and I too have been crying most of the morning and am so sick of it all. I canhave 4/6 weeks ok and then a blip descends and you feel awful. Think that is what is happening to you now and it is unfortunately the nature of the beast as far as depression is concerned.

When you say you have struggled since your DD was born, it sounds like maybe you did have PND (there are a lot of young mums on here who have that) and it wasn't treated, and you have now dipped down again. You reallyneed to see a GP (don't wait till next Tues for the HV) you need a GP anyone to diagnose, but I think most of us on this thread will know that you are describing depression and it is a horrid deceitful illness. I say deceitful because it makes us feel that there is something we should be able to do about it, to feel we are failures because we can't cope, ashamed and guilty sometimes too. We don't feel any of those things with a physical illness.

It doesn't matter one iota if you cry when with the GP (this is exactly what I did) and you will not be acting any differently or saying anything different from what they have heard hundreds of times before. Remember 1 in 4 people will suffer from depression at some time in their lives. You will probably be offered ADs and I think they could help you a lot. They are not magic bullets and they take a week or so to kick in, but they can lift your mood so that you can cope better. ADs work differently on different people so sometimes you have to try a couple to find the one that works for you, but the first one you take might help.

Please make that appt and come back and tell us how you are. I've just stopped crying but still feel flat and unmotivated and am trying to force myself out for a walk in the rain!

Sending you warm wishes. Look out for Natsylou on these threads. She has had PND and many ups and downs and has recently started a group for mums with PND. Also there is a thread called "what does depression feel like for you" and you might identify with some of the things people are saying on that thread.

Original poster

chichirou · 30/03/2011 16:27

Have rang the surgery, they will ring me in the morning when they can book me in for the evening. Will make some notes tonight with what I want to say. Thanks again for all the advice.

OP posts:

Original poster

chichirou · 30/03/2011 16:28

Meant to say thanks NanaNina for your post. Let's hope for a better day tomorrow for all of us!

OP posts:

madmouse · 30/03/2011 16:33

well done taking care of yourself

natsyloo · 01/04/2011 21:28

Hi there how are you? Just skim-read the thread and wanted to see how you'd got on at the GP's? It's great that you recognise what's wrong and are taking action.

As NN says, I know quite a bit about PND from personal experience-and the rollercoaster ride that it is. You are among friends and I totally empathise with your situation.

Sending hugs-let us know how you're doing xx

Original poster

chichirou · 04/04/2011 13:04

Hi Thanks I am feeling a lot better. Was really good to talk to the GP. I haven't been prescribed any medication but asked the HV to refer me to a PND group. I have to go back in another couple of weeks to touch base and re-evaluate. The only annoying thing is the HV hasn't been in touch... so will have to chase up if I don't hear back today.
What about how are you?
x

OP posts:

NanaNina · 04/04/2011 20:14

Hi chichirou - glad you are feeling a lot better and the talk to the GP has obviously helped and given you some reassurance that you are in no way alone with these feelings. However if you do go downhill again though, so go back and get ADs. HVs are very busy, so you may have to chase her. Hope the PND group helps, and will be interested in your progress.

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