depressed in the evenings, does anyone else get this?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, for the last few evenings I've been feeling quite depressed. It usually starts when the sun's going down. I've tried getting an early night, but I lie awake thinking about my life and what it'd take to make me happy again and can never think of anything. Then I get annoyed at myself for feeling this way as I have a lovely Dh and DD.

There has been a big change in my life recently as from christmas we've been home educating our daughter. I have enjoyed it but sometimes feel I don't have much time on my own. I used to love wrighting stories for her but don't get chance now. I sometimes feel it'd be far easier to put her back into school weather she likes it or not and that way, I wouldn't have the worry or pressure of it being all down to me. The house is a mess because I never seem to get time to tidy as she wants to play with me all the time. This certainly dosn't help. I find playing her games very dull indead.

It's strange that I only feel like this in the evenings, does anyone know why this could be? and if there's anything I can do about it? I always wake up full of the joys of spring. It's just wierd! Hopefully someone will be able to advise me.

tiredness? you mus be exhausted,i know i would be!

Hi I would ideally like to home educate but for the reasons you describe I don't. That is despite being trained as a primary teacher. Have you thought about flexi-schooling? That way you would still get time and insight into her education, some time for you and as far as I am aware the school get full funding for your child's place so it could be a win win situation all round. I know someone who does this and have stepped down to one day a week which they use for a day out together to complement what is being done on school..mum liases with the teacher. Sounds lovely, I would love to do that if I didn't also have a toddler.

Oh sorry meant to mention today have had ds 6, home from school and in a way been lovely but am bit frazzled this eve from being 1 to 1...maybe going out a bit in the spring will help

I don't know, I've been doing this since december and this is the first time I've felt like this. We don't formaly teach her as she's only 6 and has SEN's. We are waiting until she's more able to learn accademically. at the moment it's very play based and we read to her a lot, she draws and we cook and take her out most days, mostly because being out with her is easier than being in. She does several clubs too. She's now at Rainbows and I'm missing her already?

Thanks Orageflower, I did wonder about flexi schooling but I feel that at school they would really push her to catch up when I fel it'd be better for her to wait until she is ready. We are working on building her foundations. She still can't peddle a bike or do a simple jig saw. I think if she went to school, she'd go back to feeling she was at the bottom of the pile and her self esteem would be knocked again.
She is a very sociable child and loves other children. She is actually very popular as well dispite having very poor speech. Her two best friends ofter fight over her as they want her all to themselves.
I suppose if I found a good school that did flexi schooling then I might try it.

I've just found out that it's something that has to be negociated with the head of the school. I'd also have to follow the NC at home. I'll see if there is ano info on here about it.

I think I might see the doc tomorrow, I couldn't wait to get my daughter into bed tonight so that I could just lay in the bath and cry. It's awful!
I really hope I'm not pregnant and this is a side effect!! We have been trying on and off for ages, but I just can't cope with this. I would've only concieved a week ago, I couldn't have symptoms already could I?
I really don't want to be pregnant, I'm not sure why I thought it'd be a good idea. What have I done!!!

Oh OP you sound so lovely and thoughtful regarding your dd, didn't realised she had SEN. I do understand where you are coming from, with regards the school system at that age. I am feeling a bit the same with my ds who is just a bit slower in developing which I love but some others in his Yr 1 class seem to be going on ahead academically and I don't want his confidence to go...is so tricky isn't it.

The National curriculum can be approached flexibly it depends how the school approaches it. Some schools being much more creative / child centred than others. I didn't realise, the way you describe it does sound great as in what she needs, hope I didn't make it sound like she should be at school or something, I didn't understand.

I think it sounds as though, naturally, you are feeling under pressure to be there for your dd and now being pregnant considering how things will work it the future, that sounds totally understandable as in how would you be able to keep up with both.

Do you have much support around? If you are having another am sure will be ok- you might just need to change things a bit in terms of support for yourself in order for you to be able to cope with both x x

I meant, what you are doind already sounds wonderful, as in what she needs. What a great mum you are x

Aah, thank you! I do feel better today, but I know as the day wears on, I'll start to feel worse. I haven't eaten hardly anything today, which is so unlike me. I think that when I'm feeling miserable, I need to find a reason and home ed seems to be it. It probubly isn't the reason at all, as I miss her when she's at her clubs. I love having her around but with she had a volume comtrol or a pause button and we could just sit and cuddle when I'm feeling down.

I'm going to Zumba tonight, an excersise class with my mum. If it helps, then I'll buy a DVD and try to do something every evening. I used to get a lot of excersise but since Lucy started walking everywhere, I can't just put her in a pushcair and go on a mamouth walk. I do miss that, and I've got fatter as a result.

Anyway, thank you for your post, it was really kind. I worry a bit that teachers would see home ed as an insult to them. It certainly isn't, I think you are all amazing to do the job you do, I certainly couldn't. It's hard enough with one. It's more the system that has to be followed that isn't right for some children.

Hi I like to try to do Zumba too, it's a fun class isn't it? Didn't know you could get a DVD. Have you tried Aqua Zumba, that is fun too.

I am not teaching anymore, would find it too stressful trying to do it with the dcs, think understand home ed more actually after seeing the pressures of teaching first hand, SATs etc. I know most teachers wish they could give more attention to each child in the class. I think you're right that the system does not suit everyone. I was more suggesting it as a way of taking some of the pressure off yourself for part of the week. Like I said though all schools are different, i knew one which was so lovely and attracted children with SEN as the children of all ages spend lots of time playing and being creative. It can really depend on the head teacher and their philosophy and sometimes you get one who feels so strongly about it they do influence the teaching practice across the school a lot. it might be worth just chatting to some local head teachers about how they would include your daughter in the school just to get an idea, or not as you think...don't know what SEN she has?