Okay, I give in. I need help.

[FourFortyFour]

I need counselling. I have just googled and there are loads. Where do I start?

With your doctor, Ask for a refferal. If you can get along with your counseller then all well and good if you don't move to someone else, And well done for admitting you need help its a bloody hard step to take. Took me 4 years this time around

I want to go privately. My GP did organise a session with the surgery counsellor but it was a male and he gave me the creeps.

Go to the MIND website and they should give details of mental health services in your area.

MIND.

Good luck.

Thank you, I have emailed a local counsellor [can't believe I have done it emoticon].

Well done! You should be really proud of yourself it is a really really hard thing to do.

No reply yet but I know it could take a while.

I have had an email back but are too scared to open it. I pointed out a spelling mistake and hope they don't hate me already.

They won't hate you at all! Have you opened the email yet?
Dont worry about it not working out with the first counsellor. I saw quite a few before I found one that I felt comfortable with.
Finding the right counsellor is at times like buying shoes..you may need to try a few before you find one that fits, and is comfortable:)

But you have made the first big step to say that you need help, well done.

I still haven't opened it. I feel really poorly today and need to do it when I feel strong. It will probably just say hello .

It might be good news that they can see you soon? You won't know until you open it.
It may just be a reply to thank you for your enquiries. On the other hand if the email says that counsellor has no space at present to see you or similar, dont be concerned as now that you have made the decision to see a counsellor you just email another one instead.
Has the rest of your day made you feel better or worse?

I opened it and she can see me next week. I am still unsure. I know a problem I want her to help me with but I am also scared of being 'cured' of it .

I am glad that the email was a positive one after you had taken the courage to send it.
Is it not best to go and see counsellor and take it from there. You have acknowledged that you need help and support, why not take it from there, one step at a time.

If there is a problem that you are concerned about, could you talk to her about why you feel scared to be as you said 'cured' of it, rather than actually discussing the problem itself? Would that help? And then when you feel more comfortable with the counselling and are feeling hopefully a little stronger from having someone to talk to you could then talk about the problem itself?

Counselling is a step by step thing..sometimes they go forward, and sometimes back, but they need to go at your pace, when you feel ready. But I think that you should go to the session and take slowly from there.

As I have had counselling in the past and have felt they don't get me or understand me I am a bit worn out with it all to be honest. I also know I can not live my life for much longer as I am and for my children's sake I have to try an alternative. I have emailed to accept the appointment but have said I am having a wobble. I need to talk it over with a friend but they are busy today.

Hi four, I have been through several counsellors and psychiatrists and I know it is hard to find someone that you feel comfortable to talk to. But go with an open mind and take it from there. Having a wobble is normal!...I cancelled two appointments with my current counsellor before I plucked up the courage to see her, as I was so worried about it!. I have been seeing her on and off now for 6 years now, so I am glad I did eventually go.

If you are having a bad day, are you able to have some time and space to yourself today?..can you go and hide in the loo for a bit and get a bit of thinking time? While there write down what you want to discuss with your friend..you obviously will not get a reply, but sometimes being able to put your thoughts into words on paper can be a bit of a release to get you through a bad day. When finished, discard the paper so that no one else but you sees what you have written.

I know it is a very un-mumsnet thing to do, but I'm sending you a hug today and a .

This will sound so stupid but I have a fear of being cured because then I will know how much of my life I have wasted. I know rationally depression is an illness I couldn't help but some of my problems I feel I bring on myself by refusing to let them go. The analyst in me wants to know why I do/feel certain things which isn't helping really.

444 that sounds very normal to me - you're scared of acknowledging the loss of all the years you've been affected by your issue, as you know you can't get that time back?

However whilst you're scared of that, you are not getting through the issue therefore it's still an issue and wasting up more time? Things are always more frightening when we know they're there but we don't challenge them head-on.

A good place to look for a counsellor is the BACP or UKCP website - they're the associations that accredit properly trained counsellors/psychotherapists in the UK. I would personally recomment person-centred or gestalt counsellors but it's a very personal choice and ultimately it just needs to feel right for you.

That is a good point. Nothing will change and then I will waste more time.

I have an appointment booked for Wednesday for an initial appointment.

I am getting 'Lifespan Integration' as therapy. What it does is to help you to view the life you have been through in a different way, which then helps you to move on without regret. I am no good at using links but if you google it you should find information on it.

It is a relatively new sort of therapy, but there are practitioners around the uk that use it. It was first devised for people who have had a trauma in their life like abuse, but it is now being used for people with depression. I have had a few sessions of it, and have found it mind blowingly impressive. I have never been abused- I have depression, and have had issues with 'moving on' and putting the past behind me, but this therapy I find is great.

It does sound like my kind of thing. I have issues but I don't know if the reasons are the reasons or I have just matched them together iyswim.

Oh God, where have I gone? I just emailed a therapist in LI.

I second the recommendation for lifespan integration therapy, though you may need much longer term work than most LI therapists tend to offer. I have heard it is superb, particularly for deep-seated issues that you don't want to have to re-experience in order to get past them.

Having Li is good to get rid of the baggage of your past that is affecting your present, but I also agree that a general talking based therapy is good to have along with it to help you with the present issues. My counsellor does both with me, we wil have sessions were it is justbus talking about how I am feeling etc, and then the next session may be an Li one.

Li sessions are really hard going, but in my experience extremely beneficial. After the session you are completely exhausted mentally and physically, I was wrecked for a few days after the first one, but I have seen how it has had a positive impact on my life so am having more sessions.

Not all therapies suit everyone, you can always go and see what you think, and if you could see it may help then have some, and if you don't like it, don't go back and have regular counselling instead. There is no harm in trying. You have nothing to lose.

I know why I do certain stuff. I know it doesn't have to mean anything. It isn't good for me but I still do it. I then get cross with myself but sad too.