Ninoak - I was wondering how your H reacted to your first bout of PND,but maybe then (especially in Ireland)it was not spoken about as it is now, and you maybe just got on with things. Certainly when I had my children over 40 years ago it was unheard of, but now seems to be affecting so many young mothers.
Do you mind asking if your new baby was planned. You say your H is unpredictable (is this in any event or just in relation to a crisis) He certainly sounds like he is emotionally dependent on you and is panicked at the thought of you not being the strong one for him to lean on. Not saying this is going on at a conscious level but maybe at the root of things.
Whatever the reason I think it is despicable that he has reacted like this - maybe you should tell him "you don't do unsymapthetic men" (sorry that's a bit childish really and won't get you anywhere.
Glad you have an appointment with the GP and please please don't let your H effect your decision to take ADs if that's what the GP thinks is right. HE is not the one suffering and I agree he sounds scared of PND, maybe evenbelieving that people with mental health difficulties are mad. It is amazing how many people still think that and how there is still such a stigma around mental health.
You say you have no family support - none at all? What about your daughter - do you have any friends in whom you can confide.
You will get lots of support on this thread if you need it. SO so sorry your H is saying these things. I had a severe episode of depression last Easter and was in hopsital for 3 months and am still not fully recovered (ups and downs) and I just don't know how I would cope if my DP was not supportive.
Take care of you and your little boy and don't listen to your H's nonsense. Maybe you could get the HV to come round and tell him about PND. Do you think that might work?