Meeting on Friday about medication

[butterpieify]

OK. I have decided to go on some medication. I have stuff to take when needed (Diazepam and Sleeping Tablets) but I'm going to have something long term to stop me feeling the symptoms in the first place that I treat with the above, if that makes sense.

Previously I have had anti depressants and anti phsychotics, but now we are talking about maybe going on mood stabilisers.

I like to know what is going on - eg I have just been reading things that my doctor has published, but when I am actually talking to people I get all tongue tied and don't ask the questions that I want to.

SO...what should I read up on before the appointment? What are the important questions?

I'm looking at a lifetime of whatever is decided (I have seemed well in the past, come off meds and been fine for months and then had a catastrophic breakdown, so this is the best way) so I don't want to dull my senses or thoughts, but at the same time, my anxiety and (possible) bipolar is not letting me live my life, so something needs doing.

What is your psychiatrist thinking of putting you on?
Lithium
Sodium Valproate
Carbamazepine
Lamotrigine

What issues are really bothering you about taking a mood stabiliser?

I think Litium was one, but there were two others that were more likely. One is sometimes used for epilepsy, if that helps?

My main problem is that last time I was on medication, I ballooned in weight and kept forgetting to take them, so was really often in withdrawal, which is horrible. Also I was still all over the place mentally.

Also I am a bit :( at the lifetime of drugs thing, but it can't be helped.

OK, one of the others was Tegretol. Although I have just found out that that doesn't work with hormonal contreceptives, so that's pretty much out, unless this meeting I have today with the family planning nurse reveals a type of contrception I have never heard of.

Clonazapam is used to treat epilepsy. Its a benzodiazapine - used to treat anxiety in my case. x

Citalopram is very good for anxiety

have you thought about alternative therapies ?

www.takeomega3.co.uk/blog/researchers-confirm-high-epa-is-powerful-natural-antidepressant

Isn't Citalopram an antidepressant? If I take one of them, I just shoot as high as a kite. I just about managed (but was very ill and had no life) on a cocktail of antidepressants, antipsychotics and tranquillisers. Now I have tranquillisers and sleeping pills to take sparingingly in an emergency, but ideally I want something that will just keep me stable.

I have some form of bipolar, meaning that I am at risk of awful lows, but it is the highs that are dangerous, if that makes sense. When I am low, I am too low to get up to much trouble, so as long as there is nothing damaging that is very near, and I don't have to be anywhere or do anything, I'm fine. (although obviously it doesn't make for a very effective life) The highs are when I get loads of energy, spend all my money, act like a berk, and often start up with psychosis again. And me with a daft idea in my head, the energy to do somthing about it, and fictional people egging me on is a very dangerous combination! (especially if I manage to get it into my head that medical people/family/police are against me)

The vast majority of the time I am fine, if a little prone to shyness, anxiety and some weird sensory habits that don't do anyone any harm. The problem is that I tend to get a high first, and it doesn't feel bad when it starts, and by the time it is obviously happening, it is too late to do anything apart from basically knock me out and wait for it to pass. Then it is followed by a low, in which I literally can't deal with anything.

So, you see why I am reluctant to risk anything that isn't entirely proven - I could be happily pootling along for months or years, and think I was cured, and then, BAM, wake up in hospital, with a trail of debt and angry/upset people in my wake. It's just not worth the risk. I have kids to think of.

OK. Meeting had. I am starting on a slowly increasing dose of Lamotrigine, and he is looking into getting me yet more therapy, although this isn't CBT, which I have had with four different practitioners to no effect, so fingers crossed!

Good luck. I started on lamotrigine a few weeks ago. I haven't had any major side effects.

Brill, thanks :) I'll get the prescription tomorrow. Bit nervous, but I think it is the right thing to do.

All that about the rash is a bit worrying, but my doctor just said that it doesn't usually happen if you slowly titrate up to the dose, and if I get any blisters to take pictures and immediately stop taking the drug and phone the CPN team, and usually it is absolutely fine.

Is that what yours said?

The doc just said to watch out for a rash. Have you looked at crazymeds.com? It's a really useful source of information, and also has a forum. I think around 10% of people get a rash, but very few people get 'the' rash. It's quite rare, and the risk is apparently greatly reduced if you increase the dose slowly. I found that, at 25mg, I got a headache if I didn't drink enough water, and had slight muscle ache in the first few days. I went up to 50mg on Friday. I had a cracking migraine the first night I increased the dose. I've felt really tired since then. I think I felt a bit brighter at 25mg. I feel tired, but very calm right now. I should add that I was initially diagnosed with PND, but both citalopram and sertraline sent me high. (Well, with sertraline it was a mixed state.) I'd never had an elevated mood before then, but had suffered from depression. I'm currently also on citalopram (20mg) and quetiapine.

I'll have a look at that site, thanks :)
OK, so I picked up the pills today, the pharmacist told me not to buy the cough syrup I was going to buy at the same time after a long not-very-hushed whispering behind the counter, where I heard things like "well, we'll assume she's on it for epilepsy" (peers over counter at me chasing baby around the shop) "but they do prescribe it for this..." Then she came over and said "that cough syrup makes people have interrupted sleep, and so if you need that medication you don't want interrupted sleep" LOL. I spent two years having a weeks worth of anti psychotics doled out at a time, so I'm quite releived to just be whispered about for possibly having epilepsy, when collecting a whole month and a halfs worth of medication, lol.

First 25mg dose taken tonight, so lets see how we go. Seems odd to be taking medication when I don't actually feel ill, but I'll do almost anything to not get ill again.

I was told to take it in the morning as it can be activating, and
/or disturb your sleep. Sorry if this looks weird-posting from phone.

How are you doing?
I'm fine, no real side effects, although I've had a cold, so not sure if some of the stuff I've been blaming on that - eg dizziness, is the meds. Either way though, all seems well, although not much different.

Hmm, my fingers have started shaking. Not all the time, just when I am texting or whatever, but enough to be noticable. Not sure if it is the meds, but no idea what else it could be. Also my joints (especially my fingers, but others too to a lesser extent) seem to be really stiff lately, but they do have a tendancy to be stuff, so could be coincidence there. It is making my typing even worse than normal.

I keep getting shaky and fluttery too - like I haven't eaten for a while. Could be just my normal anxiety coming out in a new way I suppose.

Lamotrigine is known for causing muscle stiffness (look at crazymeds.com). I had it for a little while at 25mg, and I occasionally feel a bit sore now, but it's not too bad for me. I've suspected that the lamotrigine may affect my blood sugar (or vice versa?). If I haven't eaten for a while I feel really sick. The same's true if I haven't drunk enough water.