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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Original poster

God please someone help me

42 replies

MadMommaMemoo · 15/03/2011 13:49

I am goin into full on melt down. I can feel it building up in me. Crisis team just phgoned. Waiting for urgent appointment with consultant. scared Im going to end up back in hosptial and am managing to convince myself I have schizophrenia (sp?)

Can hear voices in the house, people outside the house. DH just gone out to get some shopping.

Please help me, I am desperate for this to stop, so sorry fi I come across all needy. I am fucking desperate though

please please please

OP posts:

Stac2011 · 15/03/2011 22:42

hows your night going mmm? X

GetOrfMoiLand · 15/03/2011 23:09

I am sorry you have had such a bad time memoo - I hope you are feeling a bit better now.

Take care - hope you get this sorted soon, you must be so frightened.

Original poster

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 00:36

It's not going to bad thanks. Have just taken a sleeper so hopefully will be asleep soon. Dreading tomorrow but dh is off again so I'm not alone. I am frightened, mostly because I think they're going to try and persuade me to go back to hospital. Really don't want to do that again.

Hope everyone manages a peaceful night xx

OP posts:

FourFortyFour · 16/03/2011 08:07

What is it about hospital that you don't want to go again? Can you focus on being there means you will get well?

superfanjo · 16/03/2011 10:18

Sending hugs...I mostly lurk on mumsnet but I have noticed your posts before and I hope you feel better soon it must be really hard...sorry i don't have anything more constructive to add xxx

Original poster

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 11:00

There was nothing wrong with the hospital as such, in fact the people there were lovely, the other patients were mostly mothers like me. Just hated being away from my children, especially the baby. I can't stand being away from her, she is my whole world.

Thanks for the hug superfanjo, hugs are good :)

OP posts:

Original poster

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 11:03

Crisis team phoned this morning. Someone is coming out to see me tomorrow. No psych appointment yet though :(

Dh off work so I'm probably going to have a pj and MN day which is never a bad thing. Dd is having her nap here on the bed next to me, she is snoring :o

OP posts:

MrsChufftheMuff · 16/03/2011 11:58

Glad you got a some response from crisis team.
Have a manly punch on the shoulder and then a unmumsnetty

Original poster

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 12:20

I'm loving all these hugs! Right back at ya MrsChuff, love your name, makes me

OP posts:

FourFortyFour · 16/03/2011 13:07

I understand about being away from your baby. I had to be away from my 15 month old for 1 night and it was agony.

I would hug you but the way I feel today I would probably cry all over your shoulder so I send a disguised xhxuxgx instead .

solooovely · 16/03/2011 14:10

Anxiety can really mess you up (agree with staying away from google!)

Original poster

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 15:59

Fourforty, I don't mind a wet shoulder, my sleeve is already covered in snot from dd.

Anxiety does mess you up, it's debilitating!

OP posts:

FourFortyFour · 16/03/2011 16:22

I hope your afternoon is better.

solooovely · 16/03/2011 16:35

I sort of lost several years of my life immersed in anxiety. There is light at the end of the tunnel though and I know feel almost normal. Well I feel normal, but the thought is there that it could always come back so i have to be careful.

Other people don't always understand how totally consuming it can be.

Original poster

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 18:19

It is really consuming, I'm not exaggerating when I say it is ruining my life. It leaves you paralysed and unable to lead a normal life.

OP posts:

FourFortyFour · 16/03/2011 19:00

True .

MrsChufftheMuff · 16/03/2011 22:49

Yes paralysed is the word!
I left my job last year, thinking I was just too crap and useless and my boss was about to sack me anyway for being rubbish. I was never sick or late for work, I just managed to convince my self that I was terrible. Turns out they were gutted to lose me and have rung to ask me back! I can go back when I am ready to, which is great.

But atm my anxiety is such that I just can't. I would love to work, I loved my job, but I couldn't progress in it, as I took any feedback like 'MrsChuff could you do x next time instead of y,' so badly I would cry in the loos. I was terrifed of being 'told off' all the time.

There are loads of things, normal things, that are just too much pressure / too noisy / too crowded / too rushed. I can just about manage picking dd up from school, doing a bit of housework and some home studying.

It's so frustrating. It's technically coming from me, this anxiety, and feel like I should be able to control it, but I can't.

I am discovering more now what a normal life is as I am on beta blockers. But I am still very limited in what I can do.

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