Starting on antidepressants at crucial decision point

[lostinthejungle]

Hello there. I have been posting in the Relationships section about how I'm currently dealing with the aftermath of discovering that my husband had an affair.

I have struggled on and off with depression over the last 5 years or so, been advised to take anti-depressants, tried 2 different ones but the side effects were too awful and I didn't follow through. Changed some things about my life and felt somewhat better. But now I am back in a very desperate place. I can't sleep, eating not as bad as it seems with some others (I do love my food!), but constant pain in throat, chest, finding it hard to hide tears from my 5 year old son.

Everything points to trying ADs again (I even have a free supply!), see if maybe side effects not so bad this time. But I am concerned that they will cloud my judgement - make me more able to withstand a situation that maybe I shouldn't withstand, muddle through instead of making a big leap. Is that a fair concern, or could they actually help to clear some of my intense confusion?

Another concern is libido. Mine has been very low for years, and right now H and I are going through "hysterical bonding" phase of lots of sex (really weird, trying not to feel unfaithful to myself about it). Given the fragility of the situation, I'm not sure I want to endanger libido either.

Very much like to hear from anyone with perspectives on usefulness of starting ADs at such a crucial decision point in my life. Many many thanks.

Two things occur to me. One is that you felt depressed for years, which may need treatment, but that you've been brought low by a bad event. Personally I'd not resort to drugs if I feel bad for a good reason. That's normal and healthy, unless you truly can't function. But if you feel bad anyway, and have for years, maybe you do need something.

The wrong prescription might blur your emotions so you feel nothing much at all about the affair which might make it hard to sort out with your partner. That's what would worry me.

I usually end up back on ADs when I'm so stressed I can't function at all. That often coincides with challenging times at work or home.

But I don't think anyone can really answer this for you. Only you know if you needed meds all along but only this event has pushed you into feeling you have a reason to take them. Only you know whether you feel mad and down because of what happened but basically OK in other areas of your life. But if everything is on top of you...personally I'd go for meds if that was the case because life is hard enough with a lot on your plate, without having to to wade through the treacle of depression to get on with it.