Its me again, the Emetophobic, please help.....

[Marne]

Sorry, i seem to be posting here a lot lately . I am led in bed shaking, sweating and feeling very anxious. Dd1 is poorly, i have spent the day with her, thought she was feeling better and then an hour ago she was sick. I am now panicking, worried the rest of us will get it, feeling sorry for myself whilst my little girl lies in her bed being very brave.

I will now have to stay awake all night (wont be able to sleep worrying about dd1 being ill or one of us getting ill). I really hate myself for being like this, i wish i had never had children and i feel like running away from it all (i know in a day or two i wont feel like this but as soon as it happens again i feel the same).At the moment i wish i could close my eyes and not wake up, i know i am being stupid but i really cant cope with this phobia anymore . Dh is doing his best to help but it doesnt make me feel any better, i have taken my anti-sickness tablets and have cleaned up and thrown anything away that dd has been sick on. I just wish i could stop my heart from racing and i wish i could think differently but i cant .

I don't expect people to answer but just wanted to write down how i am feeling as i can't tell anyone else, dh doesn't understand and most people think i'm being silly.

Maybe i just need a way to keep my mind busy? i have been having therapy for a year now and no improvement, i don't know what i'm going to do if i can't beat this , i want to be a good mummy to my girls and be able to show them that i'm not scared instead of being a anxious wreck.

I understand.

When one of my children is sick, I feel exactly the same way as you, especially the bit you said about wishing you had not had children and wanting to run away.

But you know you don't really wish you did not have children, you really just wish they would never be sick again.

I am sorry I can't offer any words that will help you here. Is dh prepared to help out with the practical stuff? My dh doesn't really understand me either but he has lived with me long enough to know that he has to handle the practicalities in an event like this.

It won't last long hopefully. Try to go easy on yourself and don't think about too many possibilities, just deal with what comes.

Thanks Dumble, she's now asleep and hasnt been sick sinse 6.30 so fingers crossed she wont be sick again.

Wiah i could stop worrying and stop feeling sorry for myself, feels really silly worrying about such a silly thing with what others in Japan are going through, wish i could pull myself together.

Marne,I feel your pain.

Im an emetephobe too,never had it diagnosed just know Ive got it.One day I came across a website explaining that there was a name for a phobia of being sick and I couldnt believe it!

Im terrible at the moment,nearly everyone I know seems to have had a sickness bug and everyday Im waiting and wondering when it'll be our turn :(

It's so horrible,you do feel like running away.My partner knows a bit about the way I feel and he says I cant control certain things in life like when you get ill,but him saying that makes me feel worse in a way.

Some days Im ok but today Im not good because my DS age 9 has gone to school complaining of tummy ache.He had breakfast and isnt at all unwell,infact quite the opposite.He hasnt been for a no2 since last week and he does suffer with his bowels so fingers crossed its that!

Hope your DD is feeling better today.

Thanks Nnking, i think the problem is 'not being in control' most things you can control but not being ill.

Dd1 is a lot better, has not been sick sinse last night and is drinking and eating jelly, i just hope no one else comes down with it. Both dd's seem to pick up a bug once a year (around the same time of year) so i have been anxious for week knowing it would happen some when, in a way i feel relieved now as both dd's have had a bug this winter, i'm hoping thats it until next winter (fingers crossed).

Dd2 always makes me worried when she has'nt been for a no2 for a few days. Hope your ds is not coming down with anything.