Everything's gone wrong.

[tinyfishbigpond]

I really don't feel like I can take much anymore.

I wanted to move in with my partner so looked for jobs in the area he lived in (100 miles away from where I was living before). Applied for a job in the area and was really pleased when I got it! I was dealing with the woman in the company who organises all the company dealings in the region of the country he lives with so had no reason to doubt things. Got a house (expensive rent but thought it was ok as my partner, who is a student, can help me with the rent from June onwards).

Turned up on my first day of work and they tell me my job is 100 miles away-not in the same place as I was living before. They also sprung it on me that in the job they expect me just to pack up every few months and move to cover mat leaves or long term sick wherever that may be.

I'm gutted. I can't afford to leave my job because rent has been covered and I can't afford to stay. They say it says in my contract that I must live where my job is-but they never told me anything to make me think it wasn't where I was applying for! There's nothing on my contract about location of work.

I got upset tonight and told my manager I can't cope. Im currently in a hotel and its so lonely. Its a very isolated job so you spend all day alone and then come back in the evening to be alone. I want to commute it each day as the job involves driving all day anyway-driving an hour and a half each way will really make no difference. But the company flat out refuses.

My partner is going away next week for a month so Im going to be even more isolated. I just smashed my windmirror on a country lane so now need to sort out that. And honestly everything that has gone wrong this year so far has.

I'm so fed up I just want to curl up and never wake up.

Hello
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way - it sounds like you're having a really crappy time and everything is going wrong at the same time. I don't know what advice to give you (hope someone with more knowledge turns up soon), but I just wanted to let you know that you're not totally alone.

What reason do they give for insisting you live where the job is? I very much doubt that they can enforce this. I mean, my dh needs to live where he works but that's because he's a vicar, he doesn't drive around all day.

They just say it's in the contract. They dont want me driving around all day and then facing a 2 hr drive home. I don't really mind about that, it's all motorway so it's not too bad at all. From some tips of my territory it can take me as little as an hour.

I'm really struggling. All I do on weekends is swing between shouting at my partner and breaking down in tears because I can't face another week of being on my own.

I have been struggling with depression for years and thought getting a job and moving in with my boyfriend would help me feel happier and give me a purpose. I feel even worse now, I just can't cope. I would have NEVER have taken the job if I had known it was so far away. I knew I wasn't strong enough to be in a strange place on my own.

I spoke to my manager this afternoon and she basically just said this is the job, take it or leave it. She's going to speak to her boss tomorrow and I'm petrified they're going to sack me! I need to be doing this job until I can find a new one so I can pay the rent (on a house I barely get to be in :( ).

Hi Tiny,

This sounds like and awful situation to find yoursef in! From reading this it sounds like you would be happy to drive there in the morning and back again in the evening?

If this is the case then you could try going to your manager with a solution saying what you want to do. Say that you will commute to work, as millions of people do everyday (I know lots of people who do far longer then 2 hour drives to and from work!). you could tell them that you feel that this would work better for you and allow you to work more effectively and do a better job.

You could also suggest to them that you do this for a couple of weeks and then meet with them to review how this is going, then if there are problems you can look at a differant solution.

You can't guarentee that they will agree but no employer really wants to go through the expense of finding someone new if they can solve an issue like this in a simple way.

Just out of interest...if you did just stay at home and drive in in the morning and back in the evening and not tell them would they actually know?

Hiding- I drive a company car so they would see very quickly from the mileage.

I have tried getting them to let me commute. They just won't give in. They say it would be dangerous for me to commute in, drive around for work all day and then drive back. What they can't understand though is that the stress of being away from home means that I can't sleep in the hotel anyway and it's actually just as dangerous (if not more so) because I am so sleep deprived.