I'm a serial lurker from the outside and have just joined MN.
I am emetophobic - I have my initial assessment in two weeks for CBT. I'm pleased I have managed to get this far as I have spent years trying to cope alone with the anxiety this causes. I have managed to open up and tell people how bad I feel. For the most part everyone is being really supportive but I feel so alone. It has dawned on me that I am a really stressful person, the smallest things upset me and I feel like everyone else copes so much better than I do. The advice I was given last year (let people know how you feel) has made me worse instead of better. I spend every day in fear of someone being ill and me catching it, I can't touch door handles or anything someone else may have touched (always pull my sleeve over my hand) and then can't wait to get home and wash my hands, which are red and chapped from so much washing.
My DP is extrememly supportive but tonight we have his two DS's staying and all I can think is 'what if one of them gets ill?' I've got my self in such a state over it and I know I am pushing people away.
I know there are other emets on here and I guess I just wanted someone who understood to listen.
Hope everyone is having a nice day x 