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Mental health

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Original poster

Emetophobia, panicking because dd's may come don e with the bug

18 replies

Marne · 22/02/2011 15:36

Today i left my dd's with a friend as i needed to got to the dentist, when i went back to pick them up my friend said that one of her dc's was sick all day sat (then was fine the nest day). Now i am panicking as both my dd's were playing with the dc. Is there a chance they will catch it?

I hate this bloody phobia, wish i could control it but i just can't , i know the dd's are going to come into contact with it but i wish she had told me before i sent the dc's to her house , now i feel ill, can't eat or drink and i'm shaking, i feel so silly .

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Original poster

Marne · 22/02/2011 16:08

Bump, need lots of hugs . Please come and tell me i'm being silly and my dd's will be fine?

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Shannaratiger · 22/02/2011 16:11

I'm sure they have a fabulous immune system that has probably dealt with it already, and they will be fine. Big hug anyway.

Butterbur · 22/02/2011 16:14

They will probably be fine, Marne. It was three days ago, two of them symptom free.

None of my kids ever got sick when I expected them to, eg when their best friend had been, or when someone had been sick in the class room at school. It was always out of the blue, and probably better that way, for an emetophobe like me.

Original poster

Marne · 22/02/2011 16:21

Thank you, i'm keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed, the other 2 dc's had not caught it or my friend and her dh. I still can't help feeling stressed , both dd's usually get a bug once a year, dd2 had a bug a few months ago but dd1 has not had anything since just over a year ago so am worried . I have this phobia, i have tried so many therapies, am having therapy at the moment but nothing seems to stop the anxiety i get when someone mentions V .

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BeckyBendyLegs · 22/02/2011 16:36

Marne fingers crossed here for you. DS1 had a tummy bug on Wed-Friday last week and so far the rest of us have been fine. So it's not inevitable by any means xxxx big hug.

Original poster

Marne · 22/02/2011 16:42

Wish i could get a tablet to stop this phobia , i just feel like crying and running away when i'm like this, i feel useless (a crap mum) and i feel like i'm going mad. In a few days time (when they are out of the woods) i will look back and think 'what was the fuss all abount?', my therapist keeps telling me i'm doing well but i don't feel that there is any improvement, if anything its getting worse, i don't know what else to try (have tried Hypnotherapy and CBT, now having mind therapy), i think i'm stuck with this phobia for ever and i don't know how i will cope.

I won't eat tonight as i feel too anxious, i have anti sickness tablets but not 100% sure if they will work.

Dd1 told me that she didn't use the toilet at the house so thats one less thing to worry about (not washing hands after the toilet).

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Original poster

Marne · 22/02/2011 16:54

Thanks Becky, that makes me feel a lot better, will feel so much better in a couple days when we will know for sure. Just read something (after googling) about drinking lots of water to stop the bug settling in the stomach, so now i'm pumping water into them . Fingers crossed the child was not contagous as it was over 48 hours since he was ill (fingers crossed). I know i can cope if they do get it (i have in the past) so i don't know why i get so stressed, i think its the not knowing if they are oing to be ill and waiting for something to happen (symptom spotting).

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BeckyBendyLegs · 22/02/2011 17:14

You are not a crap mum!

I agree; the not knowing is often worse than dealing with it. When DS1 was ill I got that phone call from school that we all dread and the half an hour until I picked him up and I actually felt a bit better after seeing him and knowing what I was dealing with. I'm still nervous about the rest of us getting it but its now been four days so hopefully we're ok. I am sure you and your DDs will be too by Thursday.

If only there were a magic pill...

corblimeymadam · 22/02/2011 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Marne · 22/02/2011 20:14

Thanks Becky and Belgianbun, i feel a little bit better now, have got my head around it (with help from dh telling me not to be stupid), have bathed all of us and put all our clothes in the wash so have done every thing i can to provent us getting it, now i will just need to wait and get through the next 2 days. Just made me a little bit angry that my friend didn't say anything when she offered to have the dd's but i guess any normal person wouldn't have seen it as a problem and if it was'nt half term he would have been back at school.

I must try and stay calm and not let the dd's see my anxiety, dd1 has already noticed my phobia and i don't want her to suffer with it too.

Faced my other phobia today (the dentist) so i am slightly pleased with myself .

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corblimeymadam · 23/02/2011 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeckyBendyLegs · 23/02/2011 13:04

Hope all is well today xx

And well done for facing the dentist! My other phobia is really quite odd - balloons. I am terrified of balloons. So just as much as I go into a panic when there's a tummy bug around I panic when I go to a children's party and there are balloons everywhere. It's funny how people have different fears and anxieties.

Original poster

Marne · 23/02/2011 13:09

Thanks Becky, so far the girls seem fine, i'm still on edge but will feel better if we can get to tomorrow bug free. I had a teacher (at primary school) who had a balloon phobia, i can remember her running out of asembely one day because of a balloon.

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TobyLerone · 23/02/2011 13:09

My emetophobia got a bit better when I had children. I still can't be sick myself, and can't see another adult be sick, but when my children are sick I seem to go into mum-mode and just sort it.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my (also pregnant) doctor suggested a certain sort of travel-sickness tablets (which they don't make any more ) as I was very sick and kept having panic attacks. I was obviously wary, but she told me that if she was in the state I was in, she'd have taken them too. They were a particular brand which were safe to take in pregnancy. I'm not sure whether it was the placebo effect or what, but it did seem to help.

I keep some travel sickness tablets in my handbag at all times, just in case I get panicky about it. I maybe take one or two a year.

Original poster

Marne · 23/02/2011 13:13

Luckily i was only sick one time during my pregnancys, my main fear is of me getting sick, when the dd's are ill i cope but i shake and cry (when they are not looking). I take anti-sickness tablets from the GP but i end up taking them 2-3 times a week (as soon as i have tummy ache or feel slightly ill).

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TobyLerone · 23/02/2011 13:30

I completely understand. When the children are sick, my fear is that I'll catch it.

What helps me is to think "I will not die from this". If the worst happens and you all get the bug you will have, at most, a very unpleasant couple of days. Then you'll all be better and it'll be forgotten and you'll all be fine. You will manage and it will not be as bad as you think. We build it up into something that is so awful anyone would think we were about to have a leg chopped off, not perform a normal and necessary bodily function. It's the anticipation that's the worst.

BeckyBendyLegs · 23/02/2011 13:46

My phobia is the fear of me being sick too. It's so horrible. I was much, much worse as a child and used to panic on school trips (about other children being travel sick) and panic about the fear of someone being sick in the classroom. I used to have nightmares about it.

It's kind of worse now I think because I haven't been properly sick since I was 16 (22 years ago) except once after too much vodka which I always say doesn't count as I was too drunk to be anxious about it! I've been pregannt five times (two MCs, three DSs) and not been sick (although very, very close a few times). I think the mind is amazing at controlling matter in these things. So not sure why I am still so worried really. I still think 'this could be the one time I am really ill'.

It's just really reassuring to know that there are other people who have this fear. I used to think I was just a complete wimp (at least that's what my mum said I was!)

Original poster

Marne · 23/02/2011 15:20

I think my phobia has got worse since having kids, i have always avoided any situation that may involve v (getting too drunk, visiting hospitals, eating high risk foods), i managed to go through high school without being sick once and only had a couple bugs at primary school (was not a sickly child), since having the dd's i have been sick 3 times (twice from catching bugs and once with an infection after having dd1) which is 3 times too many for me . Sometimes it feels like i would rather have my leg chopped of than be sick (silly i know).

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