Really upset by how I feel about DS2

[BettyButterknife]

I'm sleep deprived, have recently been diagnosed with PND, and my DS2 is 7mo. He's been waking a lot in the night, and it's beginning to really upset me - when he wakes it makes me either really angry or really anxious, and I have horrible thoughts about hurting him.

That's a difficult thing to write, and certainly not something I can say out loud.

Seeing the GP again tomorrow, so will attempt to discuss this with her. Other than that, what can I do? Please tell me I'm not alone :(

You are not alonein starting to feel like you are losing it through lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and a cause of mental health problems in itself. I would do anything for my 4 month old to start sleeping through the night. Are you breast feeding? could your partner if you have one do night feeds for you occaisionally?

lelarose is right about the sleep deprivation Betty and you are not alone, i felt the same when i had PND, good that you are seeing your GP tomorrow and you MUST discuss it with her, i suffered in silence for weeks feeling useless and anxious and im sure my DS picked up on this making the situation worse, your GP will have heard it all before and be able to help you so you must not suffer in silence as it rarely gets better on its own.

lelarose is right about the sleep deprivation Betty and you are not alone, i felt the same when i had PND, good that you are seeing your GP tomorrow and you MUST discuss it with her, i suffered in silence for weeks feeling useless and anxious and im sure my DS picked up on this making the situation worse, your GP will have heard it all before and be able to help you so you must not suffer in silence as it rarely gets better on its own.

Betty - my children were babies a long time ago - am now a grandmother. I have never told anyone this but when my second child was tiny and screaming (in the daytime) I left him and walked over the park - I wasn't long, but I just couldn't stand it any longer, and I didn't have PND but I was sleep deprived.

Don't feel ashamed, you will never hurt your baby - it's just the way you feel at the moment - but it will pass, and one day in many years time, you may be able to re-assure some other young mum how you once felt.