depressed or just a bit down?

[sunchild77]

Have had a depressive episode before. Had the meds and CBT, found myself much better. Stopped the therapy, stopped the drugs (about a year ago)

Got off the drugs because I wanted to ttc. I did and then miscarried :(

Its getting very close to the due date to the baby that could have been. :( Im not pregnant again. My body wont cooperate with me in that sense.

Had some shitty times of late (for about a month or so) for other reasons, mostly friend related and Im feeling very very down. Im doing a good job of upsetting friends, and mostly myself. Ive fallen out with my closest friends, so I can't get their support either.

I feel such a mess. The saddest Ive been in a long time. Crying lots, no energy, hate myself, feel sick, can hardly eat.

How do you know when to go and seek help? Im supposed to be 'better'. What I want is a baby, I dont want the drugs again. But I can't go on like this. Im so pathetic

I feel for you, I too came off my ADs because I wanted to TTC. It was such a hard slog to get off the meds, it takes such a lot of perseverance. I wasn't quite off them when I conceived, but like you I had a miscarriage. I felt like the AD could have been to blame, although I was assured by the psychiatrist this was very unlikely. Anyway I resolved to get off them completely before trying again. Am now 10 weeks pregnant and haven't taken ADs during this time at all.

The thing is though, it's whether you are well and can stay well off them. I've been ok thankfully so far, but you sound very low. You are showing lots of symptoms of quite severe depression (I am no doctor, but I know what depression looks like).

Is a baby really going to make all this go away? Babies are knackering and severely test anyone's mental health. I know it was birth of DD and all the surrounding chaos, sleep deprivation, and stress that put me in a psychiatric hospital first time round. I think it's best to wait until a time you are really well before worrying about TTC. Maybe go back on the drugs for a while and see how you get on? You can always review in 6 months or so. Use that time to really look after yourself - sleep, eat well, exercise, relax. This will get your body ready for a baby physically as well as mentally.

Getdown you've talked to me before, Im afraid to say, in the conception forum. (not expecting you to remember, you talked to me about my short cycles) I'm sorry you've had issues in mental health too. Seems so many of us.

I have 2 kids already. I should be happy with what Ive got.

I obviously I wish I hadnt m/c, but wish I just hadnt got pregnant that time at all. It just seems so unfair.

I think I need to see my Dr really don't I?

Sigh. Just hate having to admit in Real life that Im here again....