How?

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I disclosed something to a close friend last night that i haven;t told anyone before and had no intention of doing so. She knows other things so i do trust her.

How do you carry on as normal when you feel like some one has turned you inside out shook you around and left you naked?

I feel like everyone can see everything and knows what i did :(

My usual ways are not working nor are they particularly safe and trying not to do them.

sounds like you are really struggling following your opening up. I remember the first time I told a friend about being abused as a child. It was on facebook chat and I went offline straight after. Still my friend received my words with respect and we ended up talking about it in RL too and it helped me heal.

No one can see through you. No one knows what you did (or as I suspect was done to you). And if you never want to mention it again to anybody you can, that's your power, your control. Take your time figuring out whether talking about it was a good idea or not and take it from there.

If you need some support trying not to sh or whatever it is you're trying not to do just keep posting.

It doesn't matter whether it was a good idea or not, i can't take it back now.

I have spoken to her today via text. She also opened up about some things that she had previously hinted at. i feel sick. HOw do you go back to normal after that?

Have already used all the 'safe' things, all my 'safeish' things and using hunger right now. I can drink it away later.