I've posted before about not being able to cope; since then I've had some good days but now I just think if I didn't have children I would kill myself right now. My ex has been on the scene a lot sometimes horrible sometimes not too bad but now my mum and aunt have been having such a go at me and I want to die to get away from them.
They both have physical health problems, and personality disorders. I have spent years including childhood years and a period when I was very unwell myself, supporting them both. Since my eldest was born I haven't had so much time to help them and live further away so can't visit easily. Also I have had to help them less as they were draining me.
The last few weeks though I have spent hours and an absolute fortune on phone calls trying to help one of them. They wanted to move house, I sorted them some accomodation then they said they were going to kill themselves cos they couldn't move house as I wouldn't look after their animals. I am allergic to them anyway, and am not allowed pets and have enough looking after a baby and toddler.
They moaned they never saw me, I invited them over, they moaned about the train fare, about my eldest not givong them a cuddle, that I didn't make them enough cups of tea, they kept saying they were hungry, I cooked for them, they said I feel ill now I've eaten. The conversation was almost entirely " I feel ill, nobody cooks for me, noone cleans for me, nobody does my shopping, I am in debt, nobody offers to lend me money, I can't sleep, things will never get better for me, everyone wants to die"
They moan as their children have all left home, they have no company overnight, and say I am a terrible mum. This morning I had to ring and say I'm sorry I have to have a bit of a break, I really want to help and its awful you've got so many problems but I'm very exhausted now and need to think about myself and children. Now, they have made all kinds of allegations to NSPCC.
Sorry to go on, I had to get this off my chest