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Original poster

Needing a bit of support tonight and wasn't sure where to put this.

20 replies

LilRedWG · 05/02/2011 21:29

In the early hours of tomorrow morning it is two years to the day since my wonderful, gentlemanly, hero of a Dad died. I miss him so much and am sitting here trying not to think, "this time two years ago". I know that I will spend tomorrow reliving telling my Mum that he had passed - she was in hospital when he died - and then telling my DD and then my Aunt.

Then the following day, Monday, I am going into hospital to give birth (ELCS) to our DC2 and I won't be able to phone my parents and tell them, they won't be able to come and hold our newborn and me. They won#t be there and it is breaking my heart.

If anyone can give me words of wisdom to get through the next 48hours without totally see-sawing from one extreme to another, I'd be truly grateful.

Thanks.

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madmouse · 05/02/2011 21:41

Why are you trying not to think these things? They are the things to think right now - remembering what happened. Grieving and looking back. Two years is a very short time. Very short indeed. My Mum died 13 years ago and I'm still out of sorts on her anniversary, two of my closest friends lost their dads 3 and 5 years and they still stop, remember and cry sometimes.

Give yourself time and space. The adrenaline round the ELCS will pull you together enough to get through that. Yes you will miss them so much. But you will cope.

marriednotdead · 05/02/2011 21:46

So Sad for you. The circle of life can be cruel. It sounds as if your mum has passed too?

I lost my father figure 2 years ago this month, the day after my daughter was a birth partner (cousin) so I can understand how your emotions are seesawing.

Grief is a lonely emotion, no matter who you share it with.

I don't know what your beliefs are, but I am sure that your dad is in your heart, urging you to keep strong to bring his grandchild safely into the world.

It sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship so you really do have to hold onto the good times. You and your DD can look at photos and tell the LO about your dad, who will always be with you in some way.

Original poster
LilRedWG · 05/02/2011 21:52

Thanks both.

Madmouse - I think you right, trying not to think back is probably harder than accepting the thoughts.

Marriednotdead - you are right. Mum died 16 days after Dad, so have that coing up too. I am just so confused emotionally - one moment I am happy and excited about the baby and the next am so sad about Mum and Dad.

Thanks for the hug.

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madmouse · 05/02/2011 21:58

I didn't realise you lost them both so quickly Sad

That is very hard and you need to be very kind to yourself.

Hug from me too x

snowmash · 05/02/2011 22:01

Hugs LilRedWG...thinking of you

Original poster
LilRedWG · 05/02/2011 22:16

Thanks guys.

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madmouse · 05/02/2011 23:26

Are you going to be able to get some sleep?

Original poster
LilRedWG · 06/02/2011 12:36

Sleep was slow coming but not too bad. One of my brothers sent me a text late last night which really helped. It simply said, "Don't be sad. Remember how lucky we were to have a Dad like that. x"It really comforted me. My brother is right - our Dad was fabulous, as was Mum, and we were so lucky to have the time with them we did.

Am a bit up and down today but have had a lovely morning in bed with DH and DD, who is four and a half, eating breakfast and watching DVDs.

Thank you for your support last night. It helped to put in down in writing.

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madmouse · 06/02/2011 15:33

Glad you're coping today and having support. Hope tomorrow goes well for you x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 06/02/2011 19:36

Thanks madmouse. My sister's just been and she's been the same - quite a normal day. Dad's been in my thought lots but I've not been too tearful, just enjoyed having a quiet family day with DH and DD.

I think it'll be tough tomorrow when the baby is here, but I'll cope. Thank you again for your kind words.

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ImFab · 06/02/2011 19:38

I have no idea what to say other than I am sorry.

When you have your baby if you would like a little gift in the post PM me your details and it is done.

Original poster
LilRedWG · 06/02/2011 21:36

That is so sweet, but there really is no need. Your offer has touched me so much. Thank you.

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boringnamechange · 06/02/2011 22:06

So sorry to hear about your mum and dad - hope you have got through today ok
Good luck for DC2 tomorrow! All the best xx

ImFab · 07/02/2011 07:57

LIL, I mean it. I love buying baby clothes so it isn't totally selfless Smile.

ell1 · 07/02/2011 14:22

Hope you will get through this tough time okay.

I lost my Dad when I was 9 (in 1984) I still think about him and get very upset around the time of his anniversary (its two days before my birthday, September 11th). BUT luckily I still have my mam, who I love to bits and cherish.

Lots of luck with the birth! x

(I don't have any children yet, so not so sure what you say to someone!)

xx

marriednotdead · 07/02/2011 17:32

Hope you are ok and your LO has arrived safely Smile

Original poster
LilRedWG · 18/02/2011 16:06

Thank you all. Arthur Hugh arrived safely and is gorgeous. :)

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madmouse · 18/02/2011 16:52

Awww thanks for thinking about updating this thread - you must have so much on your mind.

At the risk of making you cry - your parents would be very proud of you x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 20/02/2011 14:15

Thank you madmouse. It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment but I'm hanging on.

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Original poster
LilRedWG · 20/02/2011 14:16

And yes - you made me cry, but in a good way iykwim.

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