psyching yourself up to confront a task you dread?

[Botticelli]

I have to go and talk to a neighbour about a property issue.I suffer terribly from anxiety and am making myself really ill worrying about it.How do I get myself into a peaceful frame of mind so that i can chat reasonably and constructivly?
Truthfully I know I just have to bite the bullet and get it over with and then I'll feel a great weight off my mind,but I'm just going round and round and round.
Please, any advice on getting stuff into proportion, and not procrastinating tricky situations?

I'm really bad for this. I don't have any great tips but my mantra is "this too shall pass" and I focus on thinking about a time (say tomorrow evening) when whatever it is I've been dreading will be over and how great I'll feel then. Then think about how I'll be feeling tomorrow evening when I've put off dread event again and how shitty I'll feel.

And deep breaths on my way to dread event, but basically just go for it. Good luck!

Thankyou for that suzi, yes, you're right -
"this too shall pass, this too shall pass,this too shall pass -"

Set yourself a deadline then you have limited time to worry. Remind yourself how much better you'll feel when it's behind you.These things are rarely quite as bad as we build them up to be!I personally have a jobs list with some pleasant some ok and some hideous tasks. i get such satisfaction crossing them off, especially the ones i was dreading!
(P.s. i've still got smear/tax return/dentist on my to do list for next week but i did cross loads of jobs off this week i promise)
Good luck.

Breathe properly. Make sure your shoulders are back. I learnt this for interviews and it is very helpful.

Good luck!

oh god yes, as a lifetime worrier and anxiety sufferer I agree with breathing

remember to breath

and relax your shoulders

and breath again and relax your shoulders and I bet they aren't actually relaxed, try again

and JUST DO IT
NIKE the fucker

get that hideous job out of the way

good luck

breath relax

I recently had a problem I needed to discuss with a neighbour I hadn't met.

I felt very apprehensive and instead of tackling it head on as it were, I wrote a note asking her to ring me and put it through her letterbox when I knew she was out.

When she rang, I gave her brief details of the problem and invited her round for a chat.

She came round the next day and we discussed the problem - it was amicable but I have to say the issue is on-going as it will cost her quite a bit to sort out (her huge tree causing me probs).

I found this gradual approach easier than a sudden confrontation.

(This makes me sound a real wuss )

I find planning what I'm going to say helps.
But if it's just going to cause more anxiety, don't do it :o

I did this for years and then decided that I was a grown up and in control of my actions. If I wanted things to happen, I had to take responsibility and make it happen.

Botticelli - why don't you invite your neighbour in for a cup of tea? It will set the tone for the conversation.

yes I guess it does depend on the problem

but hormones you made a decision to go forward by writing the note
I always find that not doing anything is worse

even if the thing you do is small and not sorting the whole thing then at least you know that you have started the process

not having done anything is anxiety making in the max

Have just seen these extra replies.Many thanks all.
To be honest, it just helps to know other people have similar difficulties.
I am slowly working through my neighbour dilemma,and trying to be like hugebelly and grow up.
I didnt enjoy the conversation, dont think I got anywhere,and still feel like a pathetic wimp.
Still, at least I did it! Little Steps!
Thanks again everyone