Depressed and have to entertain.

[DeepDeepDown]

Tomorrow night, we (or DP) have invited a friend over for dinner.

It is the last thing in the world I want.

I feel utterly miserable - how the hell am I going to keep a smiley face?

Perhaps you should ask dp to postpone it until you're feeling better? Are you getting any treatment for your depression?

On the other hand, these things are sometimes not as difficult as you build them up in your mind to be when depressed, (I know I've been there). Maybe if you pamper yourslf a bit before hand, have a nice bath, put on some nice clothes, you might feel more able to cope - get dp to do the work as well. Does the friend know you're having problems?

Thank you, Besom, for your post.

The friend doesn't know about my depression - I've met them only a few times in the past and have always managed to put on a front (or tried to). It was this friend's birthday a couple months ago and I pulled out of the party last minute as I couldn't deal with the stress of it all.

We moved into a new neigbourhood and this person lives literally 2 mins away, but due to my depression, I've put off having people over.

DP is a social cat and I feel awful denying him having visitors.

I'm not receiving treatment. AD's/getting hooked/not being able to stop terrifies me.

DP said we should invite this person over and I felt I should agree :(

Deep - ADs are not addictive so you can't get hooked....most people get some side effects from stopping but that's nothing to do with addiction.

There is no need to be so low and miserable - get some help.

Hi DDD

I know exactly how you with regards to putting on a brave face. I had been doing that for a long time. And then I started taking ADs, seeing a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. I have been depressed for 8 years. I have only just started this treatment (well since November when I became suicidal). Itsonlyajob is right. You forget what is normal, how it feels to be happy, to not feel like even putting on your socks is an effort. It doesn't have to be like this. I am slowly creeping out of that hideous dense fog. I never believed I would ever ever feel better. But I do. And so can you. This is the nature of this hideous disease. It is self-perpetuating.

Is your partner supportive? Is it really crucial this person comes round? I think putting on a brave face can be quite debilitating for someone like you. And it also perpetuates the feeling that on some level you are able to cope, when actually you sound like you are about to crack.