Why does everyone think I'm strong when I'm not?!

[NotaStrongWoman]

I've got quite a lot on my plate. I seem to juggle lots of problems whilst keeping a smile on my face. I try not to go on about everything but naturally my problems come up in conversation. I never bring things up myself and always ask how other people are first and offer support etc.

However, everyone thinks I'm really strong and in control. A teacher recently said to me that I must be a strong woman to cope with everything I do. It really choked me and all I could reply was that I wasn't always and walked away before she realised I was choked.

How do I let my friends know that I'm not strong really? That sometimes I feel like I can't cope and just want a day off? I'm not the sort of person who cries in front of other people and I'm not actually depressed, so part of me thinks 'what on earth am I complaining about'? It's just that I think I'd like someone to call me up and say 'Hi, how are you? How are you really?' I think some people resent me for the fact that I DO cope, if that's possible.

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to let off steam tonight.

Well done Lonely about the phobia thing. Talk to me anytime you need to. I've suffered all my life since a horrific incident at about 4 years old. Having kids has helped me cope, although it never really goes away.

My problems are not secrets, just make me and my family easily identifiable. And my DH would freak if he knew I was in an 'internet chat room'!!!

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Do I have what???

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Thanks blueteddy. I'm a bit of a computer novice. I think I may actually have something called messanger but don't ask me how to use it.

I knowing what CATing is, but haven't actually tried to do it. I will rememer all your names though and you may hear from me, if I can work it out!!

I think I've got to give it a day now. I really need to get some sleep. Thanks for all your posts tonight. I feel so much better than I did when I sat down earlier. Despite being 2 stone heavier from half a packet of milk chocolate caramel digestives....!

Back to the RL

Hey - im here if you want to stress about the ironing too - im not fussy about which problems people want to talk about to me!

LM - Have to say - i have a bit of a vomit thing - think it harks back to whooping cough as a child - my dp has always had to clear up sick - including mine. He still doesnt get why i avoid at all costs being sick and will suffer nausea, bad tummy etc etc.

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wine would have been much more fun!!

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Really going now (to do the washing up at least if not to bed...)

Leaving here when arrived as thanks everyone!

Aw NASW, you can contact me anytime although I can't guarantee to be any help. I have flashes of inspiration occasionally, but the rest of the time I have no idea. But an ear is an ear. If you have messenger, it is dead easy to use (even I worked it out! and I am very old and dumb when it comes to modern technology. Yet to work out what an ipod looks like!

No need to thank! Its why we're all here.

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An i what LM??? Only joking!

Just been in to the kitchen and discovered I put the oven on 2 hours ago to cook some sausages as the date is up. Oops! Looks like I am staying up for another half an hour while they cook!

I do stuff like that! (sausages)

I'm also told frequently that I am "strong" and it pisses me off - I cope because I have to, I actually don't have a choice. It also seems to me that if people think that you are strong then they just go ahead and say the most insensitive things because they don't quite see you as human.

You said you have a lot on your plate- I think in those cases people think that you just get on with it and then they don't think any further than that.

Hi Bakabat I think you are right. I was reminded yesterday of the old saying, if you want something done ask a busy (strong??) person - when I found myself getting roped into helping with something I could have done without it.

Morning NASW! Is it a pride thing do you think? Are you too proud to admit weaknesses? You see, to me, you are the definition of a strong woman: if you cope with whatever life throws at you. It is the weak who would crumble and say no when asked to take on something new. I know where you are coming from - I too put on a front of being capable but I feel like a jelly inside often. People say to me I must be strong because I have 4 kids: no I just had sex 4 times at a fertile time of the month! Nothing strong about that - it is hard to resist sex at that time of the month I find!

Anyway, I just wondered if pride prevented you from showing a weaker side and saying to people "No, I really can't do that, I have too much on my plate at the moment"?

Hi Lonely not sure about the pride thing. I think I just felt sorry that the person would have been lumbered on her own!

Got to go now - shouldn't be on here in the mornings. Really late!!

I know what you mean about the time of the month thing....2 is definitely my lot though!