First appointment with counsellor tomorrow for PND - am terrified. What to expect?

[mrssonic]

I have been assigned a counsellor through a local PND charity and the first meeting is tomorrow. I've never seen one before and the thought of talking about how I feel is making me incredibly anxious and afraid.

I've never been good at talking about myself, especially at the moment as it backs my fears that I'm self-indulgent and should be thinking about those around me rather than myself.

My PND was diagnosed over a year ago but is getting steadily worse. ADs didn't really help so I came off them slowly a few months ago. I was hoping some talking therapy might be useful and I know that I owe it to DS and DP to get myself well as currently I'm a bit of a mess and not a good mum or partner.

Does anyone have any experience of seeing a counsellor for PND? What are they likely to ask? Did you have any useful coping strategies if you found it difficult?

Your first session will likely cover your family background, any significant events that have happened to you. When they know the full picture they'll know best how to help.
Fwiw, I spent my first session, which was an hour long, in absolute floods. But the relief I felt afterwards was amazing. Just offloading all of the things I'd been keeping inside felt like a massive weight off. The worst part of tomorrow will be the anticipation before you go in. It's new, you don't know what to expect. But afterwards, you will be so glad you went :)

I've had a lot of counselling for PTSD rather than PND but I'm not sure that matters much.

I was so scared that I nearly didn't go and one of my friends actually threatened to take one of his sparse days off to take me personally if I didn't go!

It is difficult to be the centre of attention certainly at first. Especially when your PND lies to you and tells you that you are self-indulgent.

In terms of worrying about talking and opening up remember that you are in control. She is not going to lift the lid off your head and take out what it inside. She will ask you to tell her what has been going on for you and why you are there. Just tell her in your own words, including the bit about feeling self indulgent. You steer the sessions, it's your time. If it's too painful to talk about something, leave it until next week.

Go for it and let us know how you got on.

Thank you both, good advice.

I think some of the fear comes from finding out that I haven't actually got PND, and that I'm just a bad / weak person. I know that sounds daft, and is in line with the PND 'lying' to me as madmouse has very accurately described.

I'm definitely going to go, I just have to be strong and not cop out and underplay how I've been feeling. I've been in a really dark place and I don't know how to articulate that effectively.

Hello - thanks for sharing your experiences, it made me much less nervous going in.

It was a positive experience and I'm REALLY glad I went (despite copious tears and snot)

I felt awkward doing most of the talking at first (and the counsellor was listening 95% of the time) but after an hour I'd managed to see what I'm facing as separate issues that I can overcome, rather than one overwhelming lump of doom. It was useful to be reassured that depression is an illness and that I'm not 'making it up in my head', now that I've accepted that, I feel like it might be possible to feel better one day.

It'll be a long process I'm sure, but I feel like I've taken a really important step. :)

your post made me Mrssonic

Well done!

That's really good to hear mrssonic - going for counselling can be daunting. I'm having CBT for PND (how many acronyms?!) and alway feel miles better after my appointment.

There is a weird sensation of feeling a bit 'exposed' when you're sharing your deepest fears and v private thoughts but it's also great to realise these thought patterns can be changed and that you won't feel this way forever.

I've been making really good progress but still have blips (having one this weekend)...and in the low moments often convince myself that it's not PND at all, it's just me being weird and abnormal. It's v difficult to put that straight when your thoughts are so irrational but try and accept that it's all part of the condition.

Good luck with the therapy, I hope it continues to be a positive experience and you feel stronger and brighter in time.