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Original poster

Not been here for a while

23 replies

Flame · 01/02/2011 18:22

I have ended up stopping taking my ADs (not intentionally, but gradually anyway). Have now decided I want to try St John's Wort so have started on them, but am in that in between stage of waiting for the new ones to work (if they do) but not having the old working still.

I am so low.

I am sick of being alone every night.

I want someone to come and hold me. I want someone to care about me enough to want to come and hold me. I want to know why I am still single and what is wrong with me.

OP posts:
PaperView · 01/02/2011 19:46

Didn't want to leave your thread unanswered so dropping in with (((hugs)))

I don't know how long SJW takes to work.

(it's me btw)

Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 19:55

Thank you.

I think it is about the same length as normal ADs. I am probably stupid for coming off the normal ones. I don't really know why I have. I think I want to be sane and not being on them lets me pretend I am.

Instead I just feel like there is no bloody point in any of it.

OP posts:
PaperView · 01/02/2011 20:08

Maybe it's not time to come off just yet? And you ARE sane but things have been so tangled that you may need ADs to help you get thru the fog??

Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 20:12

My brain just whizzes too fast without them :(

I should go back to the Dr. I know I should. If it were someone else I would tell them not to be a bloody moron.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 20:14

I just want someone to hold me as I fall asleep. Not that empty bed again.

OP posts:
ImFab · 01/02/2011 20:16

Why do you want to stop the AD's?

PaperView · 01/02/2011 20:16

You need to go back sweetie. ((xx)) sorry, i now that's not what you want to hear.

Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 20:22

No, it is what I need to hear tbh.

Because I am sick of needing them Fab. I am sick of the rest of the world being able to function without them.

My brain says they are no different than insulin to a diabetic, but my heart feels like it makes me even more of a failure.

OP posts:
ImFab · 01/02/2011 20:23

The rest of the world can't function without them though. I can't for one and I will be on them for life. I have no choice in the matter.

You are not a failure at all. You need support and the meds are one form of that. Please stop beating yourself up.

PaperView · 01/02/2011 20:26

There is a lot of "rest of the world" out there. Some people CAN function without ADs. Some people think they can, some people pretend they can, and some people find other things to help them cope instead.

Is it being a failure if you admit you need help?

ImFab · 01/02/2011 20:31

No, PaperView, it isn't.

Flame, take all the help you need.

Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 20:35

I see people all around me coping just fine as a single parent, and I struggle to get up on time let alone raise them properly

OP posts:
ImFab · 01/02/2011 20:52

You see what people want you to see.

I am ridiculously open and honest about how hard I find things but most people are more secretative.

If you have trouble getting up, tackle that. Do you need to go to bed earlier, set the alarm a bit earlier, prepare more the night before, etc. Little steps.

shodatin · 01/02/2011 21:08

May I just say that as you've come off anti-depressants, this would be a good time to ask GP for a different type (some don't mix).
Someone recommended St Johns wort to me years ago, but I found them v.unpleasant to take, and much prefer prescription.
I'm not pleased about having to take stuff either, but am actually glad I've found something that helps.
Hope GP can find something better for you.

Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 21:15

The ones I take are the best for me Blush No side effects, they work... I am just a moron tbh.

Fab - I try so many different things, I am just a terrible morning person. I always have been. XH was no good at WAKING with alarms etc, but once I kicked him awake, he got up and then was good at getting me up iyswim.

OP posts:
PaperView · 01/02/2011 21:29

You aren't a moron.

Original poster
Flame · 01/02/2011 21:32

I am when it comes to this.

(Sent you a diff msn request btw)

OP posts:
ImFab · 01/02/2011 21:42

You are not a moron.

You a kind heated woman who has been dealt some shitty cards but you can take control and don't have to stick with the same cards.

PaperView · 01/02/2011 22:16

Not ignoring you - i haven't got it.

Please go back to your GP. Even if it's just for a chat about where to go from here.

Original poster
Flame · 02/02/2011 09:22

Thank you everyone.

I ended up having a 45 min walk this morning which has helped my mood immensely. I really need to work out some sort of exercise plan.

OP posts:
ImFab · 02/02/2011 12:19

Hi Flame,

Have you eaten well today?

I hope you are able to see the GP and get help asap.

montmartre · 02/02/2011 13:24

Flame- I'm sorry you're so down. Please do take the ADs- the rest of the world doesn't cope without them you know.

People care about you, and know you are worth it, even if you don't realise.

You have had a truly crappy year (Strawberry's arrival aside)- it will take time for things to settle down. Please take care x

madmouse · 02/02/2011 13:27

Flame I find st Johnswort very useful, I came off them too early and recently started again and felt the difference within days.

But they are pure herbal tablets and their effect is necessarily more subtle than prescription drugs so if you are looking for the same effect/feeling they gave you you may be disappointed.

Were you stable for 4-6 months before coming off the ADs? Seem to think you were struggling more recently than that?

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