Glass half empty - how do you become a half full person? "lots of negative energy"

[dreamsofsea]

Ok, dunno if this is the right place or not.

I think I sound like a negative person, I have been told recently I give off loads of negative energy, I have been told loads of times I am moany and miserable and negative.

Oddly, i consider myself to be happy, I have a nice home, great kids, love my dh, no financial worries - I am pretty satisfied with my lot, I really feel I am lucky and happy.

So why do I come across as miserable and moany and, more importantly, how to I change clearly ingrained habits so I speak and act in a happy and positive manner?

Who is telling you that you are moany and miserable? If it is friends or family, can you ask them to give you some examples of what they mean so you can see how you are coming across to people? It could be that what you see as a constructive or pithy comment sounds like a moan or a put-down to someone else. Alternatively, make a conscious effort to see the good or the positive in situations and only comment on those bits, even if you feel the opposite!

It seems a bit strange that if you feel happy you are giving off negative vibes - maybe it is them with the problem, not you!

it was a meeting with a counsellor type person I went to asking for advice.

I was a bit taken aback but see what he meant. Added to that the comments I've had over the years about being negative or moany I see that it?s a problem I have but don't know how to change it.

but the point is, so many people have commented on me being negative or moany, I don't want this to be the case and want to change, but don't know how. I don't want people to consider me to be negative or moany.

I don't want to be negative and moany. I feel happy. I want to reflect that in my words and actions, but clearly I don't, so how does one change one's manner of speech and behaviour that one has had for years.

btw i'm not dead posh and don't say 'one' normally. just didn't want to say 'you' cos i'm not talking about you iyswim. gah, unclear. sorry

Any counsellor who tells you you're moany and negative needs to be retrained! Ifthey are going to make that kind of comment, they at least should have the decency to tell you what to do about it!

What kind of things do you talk about with these people who say you're negative? I'm trying really hard to see what it is you say that they have a problem with so I could maybe suggest a different way of putting it. I don't suppose you can come up with any examples of the type of conversations? If not, all I can suggest is that you try to run each reply through in your head before you say it, and see if you can put it in a positive way. Otherwise, maybe only start conversations where you can be really enthusiatic about the subject.

Sorry, but without more specifics I can't be much more help... I'm sure you'll get through this, but you may need to talk to s friend you trust who can be honest with you and tell you exactly what it is you say that gives this impression.

If it makes you feel better, you don't come across as moany in this post though, just anxious!