Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

How can I make my boss understand?

2 replies

thegreatpretender · 30/01/2011 18:57

I've just started CBT for panic attacks. I realise now that I've been having them for about 8 years, but I didn't realise that's what they were until a few months ago. I had a long period without any, then had one at work for the first time ever, closely followed by another a couple of weeks later, when I got signed off for a week. I had another a few days ago on the way to work, which resulted in me going home soon after I got there because I wasn't in a fit state to teach (I'm a secondary school teacher).

Most people have been really lovely about it, but the one person who doesn't seem to be is my boss. He seems to have the attitude that I should just pull myself together - as if I haven't tried that already! This time I felt on edge for a couple of days before the actual attack, and I think it was trying to just push through the feeling wobbly that triggered the attack. When I asked to go home, all he went on about was following procedure etc etc, and seemed to think I'd be okay if I sat down for twenty minutes - but whenever it happens, I feel like I've been hit over the head very hard with something and it takes a good few hours to feel even remotely normal, and a good night's sleep to feel mostly ok again.

I know it's hard to make people understand panic attacks if they've never had one, and there's the added issue that he's never actually seen me have one, but I resent feeling like he thinks I'm just being pathetic and working myself up about work. It is a big contributing factor, but it's not the trigger - just a fact that after it's happened the last thing you feel like is standing in front of 28 or so teenagers for five hours. He ends up making me feel worse because the 'this is such an inconvenience' is written all over his face.

Does anyone have any advice about this? I'm dreading going back to work because I still feel iffy, and knowing I've not got the support makes it even worse.

OP posts:
JustAnotherNameChanger · 30/01/2011 19:46

Don't really have any advice just wanted to let you know you are not alone. How is the CBT going ? Have you tried any medication? I guess I am lucky in that my boss has been very understanding about my panic Attacks over the years - and because she is so great I haven't had to go sick for many years (even thought in between I cant leave the house!!).
Could you get him for leaflets ?

Keziahhopes · 30/01/2011 22:04

Hi,
really feel for you as am in the same job as you. You say your "boss" - well in your workplace there are several people who you could call that - your head of dept, your head of faculty/line manager, the assistant head who does absence, or the top person. Depending on who it is would be how I would be.

I had a bad experience at another job, ended up leaving - haven't name changed so feel free to pm me if you want any info.

Gp's now offer "fit notes" - could you see your Gp and tell them that with your job you can't just sit down for half an hour and don't always know how you are and ask them for advice with an unsupportive boss. They may offer a "fit note" to help you.

With your boss, is he the one who gives permission to go home? If there is someone higher who really has that then perhaps speak to them. Perhaps have some general work cover set for each year or so - that you can produce as they are probably thinking about their extra work (but shouldn't).

If all else fails you could ask to see Occupational Health for support, but that depends on the person you see.

All the best x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page