Help with Emetophobia

[Sallsy]

I am really struggling at the moment with my fear of v*. I have two children 3 & 1 and since my second child's birth have been awful (always had the phobia but escalated out of control then). Everyday I am worried, it is all I think about. I have friends who are going through much worse in their lives but I just cannot rationalise my fear. My doctor has prescribed paroxetine but I am so scared of going on medication but also so scared of feeling like this for the rest of my life. I feel completely and utterly stuck and dont know which way to turn. My family have been great but I know it must be getting on their nerves. My DC see me upset far more than they should and I am restricting what they do because of how I feel. Has anyone else got over this, please, please give me some hope of recovery and a more normal life?!

Has your doctor also referred you for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? That's a form of counselling that can help you learn to change your thoughts and control your anxiety a bit. If your anxiety is really bad the paroxitine can help calm things down a bit which can help you deal with the counselling

Thanks for your reply. Yes have been going to CBT for about 2 months but am not finding it making any difference. Also spent £400 on a hypnotherapist which I just found a bit weird. Have been referred to a different psychiatrist who prescribed the ADs. Just so scared of becoming dependent on them though, dont want to be on them forever. Feel so stupid for having this phobia and letting it take over my life. How do other people deal with v* who don't have the phobia?? Understand no one likes it but is it just a bit of a rubbish thing that you wouldn't choose to have like the flu or upset stomach or does eveyone dread it. Trying so hard to get my head round it and rationalise this fear.

Hi Sallsy - I too have this phobia and it goes in phases of being really bad and then I'll have a few months or even years where it's more manageable.

I had some CBT a few years ago which wasn't a 'cure' but certainly helped in terms of making me realise how many things I was doing to stop myself from catching anything. The guy explained that every time I didn't touch a handle in a public place for example, I was subconciously telling my brain that it was a threat when actually it wasn't. Another really good point he made which has stuck with me was, how often does my husband touch handles in public places/eat out of date food/walk past v on the street and not cover his mouth? Then he asked me, how many times has your husband been sick since you've known him. The answer is that in ten years, probably once or twice. (and I think those times were from too much alcohol!) The point being that when we do all these preventative measures, does it really make any difference to the outcome? My husband couldn't care less about touching things in public places and he never gets ill. Since then I do try and stop myself from covering my hands/interogating people who have been sick to see if I might catch it etc and it has helepd with the anxiety.

So, to answer your question - yes, the phobia can go away to an extent. Of course I am still petrfifed of being sick and I HATE noro-virus season but I have told myself that I will cross that bridge when I come to it and in the mean time I'm not going to waste my time thinking about it. It is still there though nagging away at me so I personally don't think people like us will ever turn into people who treat being sick like having a headache or a temperature.

I hope that helps ...

Hiya, I also suffer from emotophobia - have done for about 15 years now but it has got significantly worse since getting pregnant and also now my baby is here( she is 10 weeks old now). Have tried CBT and although it does help and I realise that the thoughts I'm having are irrational - it is very difficult to "change your thinking". I have also developed "safety behaviours" like you both talk about e.g. not eating out, not eating certain foods, not touching certain things etc. I have been working with a mental health worker since during my pregnancy and she has been very good at challenging my thinking. Also have massive fear about my baby getting ill but she keeps reminding me that you "can't keep your baby wrapped up in cotton wool and they have to be exposed to germs to develop their immune system". Some days I feel like I'm going a bit crazy and it is a relief to know that there are other people who have the same fears. My partner is understanding but sometimes it drives him crazy cos we can't do normal things like going out for a meal and often eat separate food at home. I am on citralopram to calm my anxieties and it does seem to be working but sometimes I just feel a bit numb :(. Sallsy - I know it's scary taking medication but I really recommend that you take it cos it will take the edge off your anxieties and help you to lead more of a "normal" life. Hope this helps. Take care

Thanks so much for your replys. I really am at such a low. I just want to get rid of my tummy so I stop analysing it the whole time. I know deep down it is the anxiety that is giving me pains there but I always think to myself could be this time that it really is the bug. Oh how I wish I could just stop. I take so many travel sick pills that I really think the other medication would be so much better for me. I have to stop searching online for a norovirus vaccination. It is good to know I am not the only one but that also makes me think there is no getting over it as I have read so much of people having this for their whole life. Sorry I am going on and on again.
Feel like I am wasting my life away.

Hi, i feel your pain , i hate having this fear and it has taken over my life, i am having CBT at the moment (2nd appointment next monday), i take anti-sickness drugs which my lovely gp lets me have, having these in the house has helped my anxiety and they do work (i caught a bug off of dd at x-mas but did not v with help from the tablets). I go into panic mode as soon as anyone mentions d&v, i hate sending the dd's to school when there are bugs going around (this time of year is a night-mare) .

Just wanted you to know you are not alone, i wish i could offer more advice but i can't, i wish i knew a cure but so far i have not found one .

I feel your pain too. I have suffered since forever, and there was a fantastic thread on here a year or so ago. I'll try to find the link. One poster, belgianbun, was truly inspiring. She didn't cure me, but everything she said helped me to feel a) that I was so not alone and b) that it was possible to overcome it so that it didn't entirely rule your life.

I started CBT but it didn't work much for me - and then we moved, so I would have to start all over again.

I go to bed every single night with my heart pounding (for fear of one of the DCs v-ing in the night). I worry about it all the time. I avoid eating out, and am obsessive about hand washing (and about the DCs hand washing). I loathe, loathe the noro season, and am in an even worse state than ever at this time of year.

You are not alone.

It is so strange how similar our feelings all are and the things that make us panic, the things we avoid. The constant asking people how they are to find out if there has been any sickness in their lives that we could catch. I have lied to people just to see them to find out if their child was sick - what a nutcase I am!!! I have taken my ds out of preschool for a week as I heard a mum mention their child was ill. I am so jealous of people with a spider or snake phobia - seems so simple compared to this. Surely, surely we must be able to do something. Lets come up with any ideas we can.....

Dd1 gets fed up with me asking her each day 'was there anyone off sick?', today a little girl (dd1's friend) was sent home with tummy ache, i was quizing dd1 (asking if the little girl was sick or felt sick) and suddenly realised how silly dd1 must think i am . Last time there was a bug at school (which dd2 caught) i made dd1 wash her hands so often her hands got sore .

I have had this phobia all my life, i hardly ever v'd when i was a child and managed to get through 2 pregnancies without morning sickness but sinse having the dd's i hve had d&v 3 times. I'm sure there are more bugs around now then when i was a child.

I keep the dd's at home at the weekends and after school (we rarely go out) through the winter, i dred being invited to birthday parties and soft play and the dd's dont have friends over to play during the winter unless i really have to. I have taken the dd's out of nursery and school in the past and even had a go at the head a few months ago as dd's friend was sick at school and her mother sent her back in the next day .

I'm counting down the days to spring (when the bugs die down).

That could have been me writing your post, I am exactly the same. My oldest is only 3 and I quiz him constantly. He only has to rub his tummy and I am asking his if it hurts. I check their poos (sorry tmi) all the time and if they are a bit runny think this is the start of something. Very rarely is but down to too many apricots or something! Avoid soft play centres like the plague - friends know now not to ask me! How does your partner/family deal with you?

I am a poo checker too, i know what tummy bug poo smells/looks like (god i'm sad).

I also have a dd2 who is sick over the slightest thing (in a way this has helped my phobia), she v'd with chicken pox and v'd after antibiotics last week , i can now cope (almost) with v as long as its not a tummy bug (theres no risk of me catching it), if i get it then i'm almost suicidal. I'm on edge at the moment because dd1 has not had a tummy bug for almost a year and always gets it around this time each year, so i'm awake at night listning out for her.

Sorry to sound repetitive but I am the same. Can cope completely if I know there is no way I can catch it. I keep saying all the medicine out there you think they would be able to cure the norovirus!!! Thanks so much for talking to me, has at least brough a smile to my face hearing you say exactly what i am feeling!

I always get angry when i here about there being a cure for the comon cold, they have spent so much money trying to find a cure for a cold when norovirus is out there, surely they should be finding a cure for norovirus not the comon cold. I would happily have a cold all year rather than d&v for a day .

I'm pleased i'm not the only one who has these thoughts (i don't feel as freaky now) but such a shame that so many people suffer from this nasty phobia.

Ha ha - let's just be mad together!

Marne, I do that 'year' thing too. I am now in a very bad state, thinking that our turn must surely be coming...

I tried so hard for dd1 not to catch it when dd2 had it before x-mas, now i'm thinking 'i wish she'd have caught it at the same time as dd2, at least then we would be in the clear now' (she only seems to get it once a year), now i'm on edge thinking 'any day now she's going to get it', last year she had it in feb half term on the day of her birthday party (which we had to cancel) so she spent the whole of half term in bed .

Completely mad - just heard the radio presenter i listen to had the bug last week. Why does this bother me so much, I don't even know him. I think it is because I try and convince myself adults very rarely get it!!!

Someone on my facebook posted on their status yesterday that there bf has a d&v bug, they don't even live near me but i still strted to panic. 2 children off in dd's class today after going home with tummy ache yesterday (i quized dd1 when she got home) so another night of worrying that dd1 will get it (she has eaten all her dinner which is a good sign she's not comming down with it). I keep thinking 'maybe now dd is almost 7 her amune system might be better and she will pick less bugs up' (fingers crossed), it does get easier as they get older (dd1 usually only v's once and recovers fast, whilst dd2 is 10 times worse).

Just realised i have to see my counceler tomorrow (thought it was next week) for CBT, lets hope she can calm me down.

Hi, just wanted to add my bit. I have this phobia too and have had for as long as I can remember. It got really out of control when my kids were about the same as yours. It's that feeling of having to be the responsible adult when the kids are sick and you can't run away and hide. I got really paranoid for a while and it governed my life and obsessed my thoughts.

I waited for a year for CBT on the National Health and I was desperate for it to work. I really put my faith in it completely. And I have to say it helped me enormously. I am not 'cured' but it is not the be all and end all any more. I hardly think about it, even now when we are in peak noro season (sorry!)

I had about 8 CBT sessions. I'm not sure what it was about it but talking really seemed to clear things out for me, got rid of a lot of negative thoughts and stuff.

Have faith. It seems like you are panicking and taking medication, doing hynotherapy and CBT - but with little hope of it actually helping.

Hi - all of what you're saying sounds familiar to me. I don't have exactly the same fears in that I am not afraid of v* or d&v but I am very afraid of catching certain illnesses and of my daughter catching them too - I mostly obsess about coldsores, warts, tooth decay, basically anything that could be perceived as my fault like because haven't brushed my teeth / don't wash my hands.

A girl from nursery came to babysit on sat night so that me and dh could go for a long-awaited meal out together. When she arrived I noticed blood on her lip and immediately panicked thinking she had a coldsore and that dd would catch it. I had originally planned that babysitter would put her to bed but did it myself cos I was too worried about her having any contact with dd. I was really wound up all night could not relax had to go to the toilet to cal down and hardly had any of my food. Told DH I had a stomachache so we could come home (find it really difficult to talk to him about it - he is v level headed thinks I'm mad). DD had slept the whole time so no physical contact with babysitter - still went around bleaching all door handles etc. And washed DDs hands LOTS. The babysitter works at nursery and I have had to force myself to take dd in today - would rather have kept her off so no contact - felt really uncomfortable about it but couldnt keep her off without telling DH why etc. When I got there no sign of coldsore on babysitter so maybe wasn't after all but one of other kids clearly has pinkeye and so now am worried about that. Feel like my head is spinning. On my way home I kept thinking should just pull of her out of nursery altogether as is too risky / stressful. Don't think I can do that to her though cos she really enjoys nursery and only goes two afternoons a week.

Sorry completely ranting on. I have tried CBT in the past but didn't find it useful - I kept on thinking that my worries were genuine and that CBT was just trying to 'dupe' me into thinking they weren't. I also take sertraline although clearly hasn't resolved my anxiety either. I really feel like I need to address it before I start making DH and DD lives miserable but I dont really know how. Sorry I'm really going on now! Glad I'm not the only one with these sorts of worries though.

It's good to know I'm not alone!!

I too have emetophobia and also anxiety connected to DD having febrile convulsions when she was a toddler (now 6).
Any time someone is ill (or exhibits slight symptoms), I panic and start worrying about both v' and also temperatures. I don't eat, sleep and have awful rows with DH with my 'irrational' behaviour.
Was toying with CBT and wondered if anyone thought there was anything else useful to try?

Thx.

ditto all of the above posts relate to me. Started with emetophobia and now I am terrified my newborn will get any illness from my two DS, myself or DH. I am out of control with anxiety

I suffer from PTS and I have EMDR and Trauma counselling weekly, which is the first therapy in the last 8 years of continuous therapy that is really getting to the heart of my intense anxiety and fear issues - I would highly reccomend it - it goes far far deeper than CBT and accesses the locked away trauma that fuels any anxiety related phobia - of which I have many - just not this one!