I feel so completely trapped in my life and I hate it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

And I am sick of being miserable all of the bloody time. I wake up every morning, and think how much I hate my life, and tbh to outsiders it's probably fine.

I am on ad's but only a low dose, and I know I could up them, but then what's the point. Nothing changes.

hi orgnutcracker - why do u hate ur life is there something stressful happening? Have u got anyone around to talk to?
What do you want to change?

Perhaps if you increased the dose of the ad's it help you to feel better enough to start making a few changes to your life.

Is there anything in particular thats making you so miserable at the moment?

What's new in your life?
Have you got a job yet or are you doing some study/training?

Hmmmm most things atm tbh.

I want to move but I can't. My job is boring me to death and my mum and xp are both doing my head in.

I want to move to another area, but then i'd need to find another job, one that fitted in with the dc, which my current one doesn't.

I feel like everything is just out of my control.

I have a job moondog, and it is ok, but I could die of boredom from it most days tbh. I am starting an nvq for it on monday, which I don't particularly want to do but thought I should.

Also the job is giving me childcare headaches as my mum doesn't agree with me letting xp have the dc more than she has them, and he thinks the same about her.
She also called me a bad parent last week for various reasons, and has fallen out with my brother and his gf, which upset me greatly, as I know my mum, and she will never apologise or back down, so that means no more family gatherings with them all there again.

It's hard when you feel out of control in your own life, i know what you mean.

Could you pick one thing in your life that you'd like to change and start with that, just taking small baby steps towards it, nothing too demanding at first. I know it's hard to find the motivation when you're feeling down though. Maybe try giving yourself rewards every time you achieve something?

Oh and try and minimise contact with the people who bring you down if you can. You don't need it at this time.

Well that sounds like a great start.
A job, further training and your ex pulling his weight a bit more by the sounds of it.

If your mther is being difficult, that's her issue, not yours.

What's the job and the NVQ?
How are your kids?

Firstly your mum's view is just that her view, you don't have to share it or go along with it. Childcare needs to be sorted to suit your needs and if that lies with the xp rather than your mum then thats what has to happen. If everyone who disagreed with their mum over the kids was a bad parent then there is lots of bad parents.

Is ur nvq at a college? U will meet ppl and maybe that will help.

Yes xp is pulling his weight more, but that comes with a penalty, in that he thinks he can be more involved in my life , leading to him again declaring his undying love for me.

I don't need it, it's been over 5yrs fgs, and I want him to leave me alone. He lives on my doorstep and appears to know my every move.

My mum is becoming just like xp actually, with an opinion on every little thing that I do, and now that she has fell out with my brother I feel like I am piggy in the middle again. I have told her though that I disagree with her outburst towards my brother, and not to expect me to to dustance myself from him because of her.

Makes me feel like I have been transported back to my parents divorce in a way. She never did learn that I have got my own mind.

The nvq is in support services. It looks ok, and I get to do my english and maths level 1, so it is worth it just for that I suppose.

I have put my house up for exchange again, but if someone offers me something out of the immeidate area then I will be stuck, as I will want to take it, but not know what to do about the job bit.

Life is full of 'what ifs' so I would just not think too much about the house swap thing at present. If it happened have you an idea where yuo would go? It is hard starting over with no support in a new place, leaving the familiar network of friends, acquaintances and so on behind.

With regards to the ex, at least he sounds human. If him being annoyingly swoony is the only price you pay for him being around to support you and father your kids,it's a price worth paying.

Your kids must be a bit older now. Could you get out in the evening to some sort of evening activity? A choir, IT skills, drama or something.

Once, a long time ago ,when I thoguht I would die of sadness and regret, attending a patchwork and quilting class played a huge part in setting me back on the road of happiness.

Oh the kids are great, thank's. Normal, happy one minute and killing each other the next lol.

I know where i'd like to move to yeh. It's only about 8 miles away, but far enough away for me to stop feeling so under everyone elses control I think.
I have wanted to move there for ages.

I have been trying to find some sort of hobby for me to get stuck into, but haven't managed that yet. Was going to try jewellery making, but they scrapped the nearest class.

I think for today I should maybe concentrate on going and getting dressed lol.

Well find another class! Whast do you have to lose?
Have a good day.

think moondog is right a new class or activity might help. RE quilting really does help think its the whole making a pretty thing!! Baking helps too or just looking a lovely cakes - omg how sad am i!!

Hope u feel a bit more positive now x

I know where you are coming from. Being a single parent your options are smaller, eg limited job, social life etc Then throw in the loneliness and the fact that every time you try and do something positive, it's like hitting a brick wall.

I'm also in a similar position. I know what needs to change but can't. It's out of my control. Pm me if you want
as this post is a bit rushed.