Hi all dont know what I am aiming to achieve by posting this but hoping that getting it all down will help.
I dont know whats wrong with me at the moment but I just feel fed up with life and wish I could just fall asleep for a very long time and not have to dealwith life for a while!
I have a fantastic husband and 3 lovely kids (4 and 17 month old twins) but Im just feel so sad and angry all the time!
Im sick of life and am finding everyday a real struggle 
Im very lucky because the twins sleep a good 12 hours at night and 2 hours in the day and are generally very good, they do of course have tantrums but are obviously at that age where it is expected. My 4 yo started school last september so is out the house 6 hours a day and is again generally very good when at home but I just feel overwhelmed by it all.
Im sick of the twice daily school run, the neverending housework and general hard work that comes with being a mother but I guess every mother feels like that sometimes! I am really struggling to find the motivation to do stuff and am getting to the point where I hate leaving the house unless I have to.
I only really have 1 friend who is lovely but I am keeping her at arms length as I cant cope with being sociable at the moment which then makes me feel guilty and shit
I have little help as my Mum is disabled and although she helps when she can she just cant cope with 3 young kids and DHs Family live 4 hours away so cant help with day to day stuff (but are fab when we see them)
We arent exactly comfortable finacially but not struggling either and can afford odd treats here and there so I cant complain on that front either.
Sorry I seem to be rambling but what Im trying to sy is that I dont really have any reason for feeling down but I do!
I have suffered with depression in the past and have taken ADs but really dont want to end up on them again unless I can help it, I have started taking vitamin B complex as I read it can help but have only been taking it for a week so not sure if its helping yet.
My main problem is my anger I can go from being fine to having a massive rant and screaming for for no reason 
and to be honest its starting to scare me
DH does his best but I am so vile to him sometimes and I often wonder how he outs up with me!
I really want to feel normal again.
Like I said I dont know why Im posting but Im hoping it helps in some way