Bored and low.

[tiredofitnow]

Hi everyone, name changed.

I'm so bored with my life that I have lost all motivation and can't be bothered to even do the things I should do. Like exercise, do my uni study.

I have a good job where I'm respected, but I find dragging myself out of bed to get there really difficult. In a haze of early morning dreamlike state on Monday morning I thought "Oh no, I've got to go to that boring place", then realised that I meant work.

I've only started in September and in theory its great but I find it dull.
I've been here before. That's why I started seeing a CBT a year ago. She's great. It's not just the job. It's my entire life. I have no kids, I am single and although I have good friends, I never see them. We're all too busy (!). Men seem to find me attractive enough although I hate my hair and realise lately how old and harggard I look.

I have things I could do, but I have no energy to do any of it.

I do not want to eek out my years doing a boring job - go work, come home, go sleep, go work....etc. I actually would rather die than bore myself to that extent.]

I just can't really see the point of it all.

Just wondered how long you've been feeling like this? Are you on any meds atm?

On and off for about year and a half, two years.

No meds, have never been.

I also chew (the skin around) my nails as a form of subconscious self harm. I rip them till it hurts, so that I feel alive. They are red raw and bleeding.

Maybe I just need to get a social life. But I can't financially afford one at the moment.

I recognise the 'what's the point' feelings as I have often had them. Maybe have a chat at your next CBT session about help with getting motivated.

It actually feels quite difficult to 'get a life' aswell if you're feeling tired and low. It may be worth talking to your doctor about ADs. I personally don't like having to take them, but without them I also struggle with motivation. They might help you.

It does sound like you are depressed and it may be you need to make some changes in your life but I would advise against doing anything hasty because depression may be clouding your judgement.

Hope this helps.

You should mention the SH aswell.

Take care x

Definitely sounds like depression to me. I also bite and pick the skin around my nails so can totally empathise with how it feels to have that release.

I agree with orangeflutie see your doctor. If your GP is anything like my current one they will be very sympathetic and very helpful.

Big Hugs!

Thanks orangeflutie and frkadela. Much appreciated. I've just been to see CBT tonight - it's such a long process isn't it! But I'm feeling better, at least for a while.

I'm concerned about seeing GP as I don't want to make out that I'm worse than I am.

Do you keep a diary?

I have always found that keeping a diary about how Im feeling on a day to day basis and then giving it to my GP always helps.

Plus getting it down on paper is a great release.

Keep up with CBT it will deffo help.