There's a monster in me......

[jerin]

I'm so ashamed. I'm possibly so hormonal? I'm rational one minute then loose it completely. I can hear my son & his friends at pre-school running around screaming & playing and my hearts breaking thinking about the damage I'm doing to him.
I don't know where to start..... He's a bad sleeper, wants someone in room with him til he's asleep, has to have light on, door open. He's 3. His 2 year old brother & sister, same room, get woken by him. I try to break the habit but dp puts him into another bad one. DS had been in our bed for past 2 months, got him into his again but now DP sleeps in with them. DS still escapes to our room and gets into bed with me. He's never still, wakes me and I can't get back to sleep. He whines and whinges but he's a lovely child too. Just wants his own way all the time. I'm losing my temper with him. Screaming at him and I'm frightened that I may hurt him. He doesn't deserve me. Please help. Off to work now. Back tonight
Thanks

So why are you a monster?

Sounds like you are at the end of your tether compounded by tiredness (and hormonal?).

Ofcourse you are not a monster - just a normal mum who needs support. Your dp needs to support you with the practicalities of keeping your son in his own bed and being consistant with your approach.

Of course your DS deserves you, all your DCs do. You are their mum. You are not a monster - if you were you would just beat them and not come on here asking for help.
Oh, and in case you hadn't noticed, sleep deprivation is a commonly used method of torture for a reason - it works!

Anyway, I think the only way to resolve your situation is to sit down with DP and explain why you feel it is necessary for DS to be in his own bed and what steps you want to take to achieve it. Tell him you need him to support you and that you both need to be completely consistent in your appproach as otherwise DCs will be confused by mixed messages and play you off against each other.

Cut yourself some slack - you are doing your best.