Empty nest empty feelings

[birdshaveflown]

I've posted this under a different name. I posted once before about my empty nest and got all sorts of lovely advice about taking more cruises.

I suppose spending time on MN is not necessarily helping but I work with young families and feel relatively young myself.

DH has taken early retirement and is struggling to adjust to change of circumstances. I think he is depressed at losing the status and recognition that comes with a job.

I know there is plenty of practical advice out there. It is the low feelings and missing looking after children that I am struggling with. That and the reduced income which means that you can't really do all the things you dreamed about doing when you had an income.

I don't want to be a burden to my adult children but I'm even beginning to bore myself. Can't see any future at the moment.

Hi bhf

I suppose we're all getting there, bit by bit, children inevitably getting older & (apparently) more independent. My oldest DCs are 19 and 22, 19 is at home and youngest is already 15, so won't be long.

On the job front - could/should DH take up another job, albeit part time, even, perhaps, working from home. If he's depressed with loss of recognition, opportunities outside the home? I really hesitate to mention unpaid work, but eg political parties welcome newcomers, prospective counsellors, and of course there are many volunteer positions which carry the kind of status DH may be missing - I'm thinking, eg, of trusteeship. Several website carry ads for trustees. If you're interested, I could fish them out (previous life) and post.

On missing the DC - do you see much of them? The relationships change but you are still their mother and I bet will be their first port of call, as you always were, in difficult times. (At least till they marry/settle - and even then ....)

BTW, you don't sound like a 'bore' one little bit - your kids and DH are lucky to have you.