Scared of going back to my kids

[Bigmommabear]

Hi Mumsnetters, hope you can give me some help. I'm 45 with 2 sons of 2 and 3. Over Xmas I 'crashed' (lack of sleep, stress of toddlers etc) and came home to my mum's for a break. I've now been here nearly 2 weeks while my partner and his mum have been looking after the kids. I love them dearly and they are normal, healthy, lively and cheeky, but I'm terrified of going back home - what if I can't cope? I've always been an anxious person and am currently on Olanzapine and Citalopram. Has anybody had a similar experience or can give me any advice? I feel awful at the moment.

It could be one of those things that gets harder the more you think about and actualy you will be quite ok once you are back into things.

Can they come and spend some time with you at your mum's first for a day before you go home? Just to remind yourself how lovely they are.

And sit down with dp and your mum and plan how you can stop this from happening again. Look at your days - where do you need support? Where can you slot in some you-time, when are you exercising?

To give an example, when my PTSD was bad my worst time of day was 5-6pm - it's when my invariable bad nights caught up with me, I felt vulnerable, irritable, and ds was often hungry and tired and then there was dinner to cook and bedtime to do. so the rule in our house was that dh would come down from his study and take ds at the first shout from me. Try to think what your vulnerable times are and how you can make them easier.